and, then, yesterday

I've been trudging off to work in the heat these last weeks.
You know how I hate the heat.




I trudge toward my car on the train.
I read my phone.
I slip quickly through the station for the subway (too hot to walk)




(It's ballerina camp season in my neighborhood and they are beautiful to look at on the subway.)
and then I trudge to get my coffee and go upstairs.

We've had a crushing disappointment regarding a job for K.
I've been stressed over it for months, actually, and now we know it won't happen.
It feels better to know, I have to say that, but we are, just a little bit, devastated.
All the hand wringing and late-night talks, all the prayers and wishes and hopes came to nothing.
I spent yesterday mourning it and now need to put it past me. I will put it past me.

But then, yesterday afternoon, the five of us were in the living room. The boys were sharing hysterically funny videos. We had wine with ice.

I looked around me and saw what I have.





Blessed.