why it may be impossible for me to ever appear in a Sartorialist photo, part two of what may/could become a series

Photo by The Sartorialist

Whilst packing and considering outfits to bring to Chicago next week:

Hmmm...I wonder what the weather's like out there. Probably a little cooler than here, so a sweater might be nice...where IS that beigey number I had with the ribbing at the bottom? 
I know, it's a little short and tight on me but I think I've thought of a solution. 
First I'll wash it and hang it to dry...rats, it can't be ironed...no matter, wrinkles speak of a sort of comfort level don't they? 
And, if I cut some slits in the bottom of it it just might fit me better! 
I can wear it with those rayon palazzo pants! 
And, you know, at the last Marc Jacobs show, the models wore their palazzo pants just above their pubic bone. 
I have a pubic bone! 
There's just one problem: I'm not sure my arms are long enough to reach my pockets.
Damn.