I browse magazine covers so you don't have to

I had some time before my train and popped into the fetid magazine shop in the station.
I had no intention of purchasing a magazine and this was reinforced by what I saw whilst browsing.

I am not sure I believe that is Oprah's hair. Or Oprah's arm. Or Oprah's waist. It doesn't matter to me, personally, but the deceptiveness of it burns me a little.

For many years I'd buy one bride magazine, in the spring or fall, a good thick one, and dream over the photos. Now I have the internet. It's easier.

I think Real Simple is a very good magazine. Really. I do. Good design, decent writing, nice photos and layouts, I even like the paper they print on. But it is the SAME magazine, month after month, year after year, and I'm not sure how it has managed to stay alive.

Architectural Digest does not make me feel inadequate. I do not wish for cavernous homes. Will and Jada look like they live in the wing of a hotel, and they seem happy about it. I'd like my dining room to be a bit bigger but the idea of what that hotel wing must have cost confounds me.

And, yet, Mrs. Obama is at a picnic table. Looking fresh and healthy indeed. I've never read Better Homes. Perhaps I'll pick it up at the airport on Friday.


Elle Decor is foreign to me as well. They've done a good job of making Courtney Cox look thick in the middle, haven't they? I cannot imagine how they managed that.

Dwell is altogether too sophisticated for me. Honestly. I've tried. I've got no idea what they are talking about.

On the other hand...


Paola said…
OMG. Chucky! Run for your life.

I had never seen that Paula Deen either and I was better before indeed.
Crazy Mom! said…
Oh Paula! How lovely that someone banished the wrinkles around your eyes and so made look incongruously like the eyes of a 22 year old!

I don't WANT to think about Christmas.
Anonymous said…
Paula, couldn't you afford the neck job, too? [/snark]

The truly sad thing about Michele Obama's efforts at encouraging gardening and healthy food is that the new farm bill does away with many of the incentives for organic farming. Corporate America scores again.
Anonymous said…
Have you ever seen the website called Unhappy Hipsters? It's pictures from Dwell with hilarious captions about the...unhappy hipsters living in the houses. I love it.

I leafed through the fall Elle (fashion, not decor) the other day and am now anxious to buy it. I agree with you on Real Simple. And am wondering if Courtney Cox made off with the thick waist that was maybe Oprah's.

Anonymous said…
You totally nailed it about Real Simple. Which is why I now get National Geographic.
Ali said…
I was clearing out magazines from the bookshelf of doom today. I found some from 2007 - one was a Real Simple. I could just read it again then and not spend any more money on a new one!
I read Real Simple online and I buy the Sept issue of Vogue.

I bought the latest Good Housekeeping for the special article on aging hair...YIKES! It has inspired a future blog post.

I also have a hard time believing Oprah has a smaller waist than Courteney Cox.
dan renzi said…
DID YOU SURVIVE THE EARTHQUAKE? The news is making it seem terrifying. You are so brave.
KPB said…
Is it bad I'm snorting at Dan's concern for you? Or is he being facetious? Sorry Dan.

That last woman - it's like one of those child pageant stars stuck on a more mature lady's body. Scary regardless.
Scot said…
Well done you!
All those covers and not a single cardashian (I probably misspelled that but honestly, I really don't care.)
L.P. said…
I hate to say this but Paula Deen scares the bejeezus out of me. I think Kim hit the nail on the head.
Scot said…
Who the hell was looking at Paula Dean? DID YOU NOT SEE THAT CAKE?????
Rae said…
I LOL'ed for real at your Dwell comment.
The Coffee Lady said…
I think the Jim Henson company must have made that lady's hair.