observing Oldest

1. He loves the bottom of the Marino's Italian ices, where the ice is like glass and the syrup has concentrated.
2. He likes The Slits cover of Heard It Through The Grapevine.
3. He has made countless attempts to get me to watch a video of a raccoon dancing.
4. He has generously offered to tattoo I hate animals someplace on my person. 
5. (He is a licensed tattoo artist.)
6. He needs a new hat.