- He loves the bottom of the Marino's Italian ices, where the ice is like glass and the syrup has concentrated.
- He likes The Slits cover of Heard It Through The Grapevine.
- He has made countless attempts to get me to watch a video of a raccoon dancing.
- He has generously offered to tattoo I hate animals someplace on my person.
- (He is a licensed tattoo artist.)
- He needs a new hat.