every waking moment

I'll tell you (and who else would I tell?) I'm having a hell of a time right about now.
I'm working my ass off, K has five irons in the fire, Oldest's girl has left him (Oldest is an incurable romantic), Youngest is wandering his way into Junior Year and Middle, well, Middle always keeps me wondering.
It's a particularly busy time at my workplace where I am celebrating the anniversary of my second year of employment. I am still learning my way! Why do we book my boss into that mingy hotel in Germany each year? Awful! Must he attend the Thursday morning meeting? No! That time may be better used elsewhere!
Plus, I had forgotten how emotionally wrenching K's freelance world can be. Why would G hire him again? Why wouldn't he? Who can speculate on these things?

I was so melancholy at dinner tonight. I sang a song, in Japanese, that my dad taught me and was telling Oldest how angry I am that my dad died on Halloween because a Halloween store has opened near my office. I tried to explain how Halloween seems to mock my sadness, all these years later. I tried to tell him (the only grandchild who knew my dad) how irked I am that his death and Halloween have been inextricably linked for all this time and he gave me new perspective.
Don't you see? he said, it's totally hardcore that he died on Halloween. It's like he's saying bring it on Halloween, I can outdo you!
And, even though that's just bullshit, I cheered up a little.