flensing the cat, or, selected notes from the past couple of days

Attention: I have been to the doctor. I officially have been diagnosed with a clogged ear.
You may now resume your regular activity.

So, my brother and I spent the day together on Monday. Much hilarity ensued, we went to the supermarket together, we investigated a traffic event and we cooked. It is important to note that upon his arrival he saw three bags of tortilla chips on my kitchen counter (the boys have been enjoying chips and salsa of late).

File under he must bust my chops all the live-long day:
My brother decides we need a cat, not a kitten mind you, a cat. A full-grown cat with an attitude, he thinks would be swell for us, he tells me. The kind of cat that wakes you, just because, and, when you ignore it, knocks over a large glass of water on your dresser. He pitches this idea for eight hours.

While sitting with our laptops he becomes tearful with laughter:
Listen to this!
Two Betazoids walk into a bar, one says I'll have the same.

Having purchased a jar of pickles for Oldest (which, in itself, is a story)
(Slapping forehead) I've invented a new cocktail: the Fredricksburg. It's a martini with a cornichon in it.

Whilst moving gingerly about my kitchen (although he has stayed at my home alone for a week and freely cooked in my kitchen while I was away):
Hey, can I have some seltzer? Yeah, of course
Can I have a lemon? Yes, why are you asking my permission to have this stuff?
CAUSE MAYBE TOMORROW'S DINNER REVOLVES AROUND SELTZER AND A LEMON.

After reminding me two or three times, in the market, that we might or might not need tortilla chips:
But you know what would be really good with this? Tortilla chips.

When I exclaim, happily, that our mother is watching something funny on television:
Mom is watching footage of a french pig running through the country-side!
Patrick Demarchlier is on tv?

Also, he made some of this.