"Mid-Summer Style Cravings" from JCrew: my thoughts

Well, yes, I think to myself upon seeing this email from JCrew, yes, I can well imagine having some mid-summer style cravings. Though "cravings" is an interesting word. If I begin dissecting the JCrew copy we're all sunk.
So, I mosey on over to the site to have a look at what's new.
What's new? Cardigans. Oodles of them. But there are a smattering of other items too...



Oh. Denim.
If only I could figure you out, denim.
Bootcut, straight-leg, matchstick, lived in, juke box wash...wait: JUKE BOX WASH? Holy hell.



I'm hoping these two fall under the Lounge category as I cannot see us pulling a silk jumpsuit over a damp bathing costume. I feel certain you can imagine my opinion of a strapless silk jumpsuit, yes?



This is a wonderful scarf. I can safely say that I crave it. It has the nautical stripe I am presently addicted to and is jersey. Need I say more?



Fabulousness.



It's nice that JCrew stays true to their swimsuit vision isn't it?

And then we come to this:



need a closer look?



I luff this skirt.
But I have a lot of things to say....
What is she wearing with this skirt?



Which: FINE.
What would *I* wear with this skirt?







and a scarf!

What's my problem with this skirt?



Please tell me I'm not the only person who sees this.