a cold sore as big as the Ritz

OH, the agony.
My eye hurts, my teeth hurt, my face hurts.
I cannot ingest wine fast enough.

But enough about THAT.

1. I forgot to ask the office blog writer if I could lift his post about me for use here. I will tomorrow, I promise. (Meanwhile, my co-worker, also profiled on the blog, was not as enamored of the post as I was. Pfft.)

2. I cannot eat. Wait. That's not true, entirely. I can eat dark brown potato chips and dark brown chocolate. Apparently DARK BROWN is okay if you have a giant blister on your face. Well, maybe not YOU, but ME.

3. It's breezy here tonight and, I'll tell you, feels downright TROPICAL.

4. I am overwhelmed with shopping for swim suits on line. Why was this person not photoshopped like the rest of them? Who could possibly wear this?

5. Run, NOW, like a crazy person, to Old Navy and purchase these tanks/camis. I have countless tees/dresses which could not, before the procurement of these camis, be worn at the office. Now? FASHION RESURRECTED.

6. DRunk much? Wll, maybe. But my face is effing killing ME.

7. I forgot I had those grey shoes and they went perfectly with what I was wearing today and I got a zillion compliments and even though they do have that seam inside them which irritates my foot they are lovely.

8. You know, when you have a cold sore, how you reach that point in time when you decide it's best to stop APPLYING salve of whatever sort to it and just ride it out and let the thing DRY FOR GOD'S SAKE? I AM AT THAT POINT.

9. The Japanese version of my favorite Ito En green tea is NOT nearly as delicious as the other version.

10. Last night, with my HUGE COLD SORE, I drank four swallows from a bottle of Snapple Earl Grey Tea, which is my go-to if I cannot find my Ito En tea, which is not always EASY. I couldn't finish it and put it in the fridge for safekeeping. And preserving. Oldest, it turns out, was intrigued by the nearly-full bottle of tea and drank it down and came upstairs, just now, to tell me it was delicious. I proceeded to show him the HUGE COLD SORE on my lip.
It didn't go well.

11. There is no 11.

12. Here is a new favorite, from K.


Defunct Lisa said…
OMG, I am right there with you! I have been downing Valtrex like its candy... but the thing is still taking over my lip. And I've been sticking my head out the window like a dog hoping the air will blow it away!
Anonymous said…
Love the video! I hope the cold sore goes poof! and blows away.
Crazy Mom! said…
Drink faster. Burgandy wine is almost brown.

I am not sharing your tea, no matter how enticing it sounds.

Care for some pollen?
Anonymous said…
does your face hurt?

I think you know the response.

Crazy Mom! said…
also - the video made me think of this comic
Duyvken said…
re #4... I looked but I couldn't see the photoshopping that was required. If my before photo looked like that I'd be a very happy woman!
I hope the cold sore goes away, you poor thing!
Scot said…
So dab the cold sore with some Cuervo Gold already! It'll sting like a BITCH, but it'll dry it out AND numb it at the same time.
Never underestimate the powers of am old retired baetender.
Cool video, thanks K!
Anonymous said…
First, thank you for letting me comment "anonymously". I read many blogs, many of which I love, yours especially, but I choose to not have a "permanent" internet ID (if possible!). (*sigh*...another conversation for another time)

That said...cold sores---aren't you supposed to avoid sunlight, or stress? Something like that. And....take...??? (some amino acid?)

The video: AWESOME. (Though it looked kinda like a condom at the beginning. To me, at least. )

Then it reminded me to get a one-up mushroom sticker for my car, for my kids. (I'm into "lucky" stickers for the car: maneki neko, blue eggs, etc.)

Wow, you turned it way past 11 today. Just in time for Spring.
Awesome. :-)
KPB said…
Dude, you of everyone should know that every woman worth her salt knows nothing is more flattering than a ruff on your muff.

And reversible camel-toe shorts. You Americans think of EVERYTHING!

I'm GAGGING to see that blog post about you and your colleague so get onto that will you.

I have known now for years your penchant for drinking those tea drinks (you know they have as much sugar in them as a can of Coke don't you? You're welcome.) but I still find it entertaining.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid the cold sore conversation? I have a sensitive gag reflex. But if it were me? I'd be pouring metho on that beast like there was no tomorrow.

I can only imagine Oldest's reaction and am laughing at his expense. Please apologise accordingly.

VW - bulanco, which strikes me as a good name for your little friend growing on your lip over there.
Liz said…
I bought some similar cami today at Old Navy on sale, with an additional half off. Score! :)
As for the swim wear, was that a woman or man? If it was a she, unless I am mistaken, seemed very hairy or veiny?
Paola said…
Can't comment.
ROFLMAO at Kim's comment.
Badger said…
Things I feel happy never to have (so far)(knock wood) experienced: cold sores, warts, stretch marks.

But I do have multiple unpleasant and/or potentially life-threatening medical conditions, if that makes anyone feel better.

(Speaking of feeling better: YOU. SOON.)

(And I lurve the video and will share it with my geeky boy child.)

(And OMG, my wv is "supecul".)
Anonymous said…
That video was awesome--and pixels are just like legos, aren't they?
Ack, your poor sore sore. I always cringe when I see people with them, it makes my eyes water with empathy.
Swimsuits, summer fashions--bah! I refuse to get my hopes up. But I am still so very happy with my tankini from Title IX that I bought last summer.
RW said…
the cold sore situation sounds LAME.
I am praying for a sponataneous healing.
Re: #4, I couldn't find the 'bust' in the microluxe (what the hell is that??) bustier top in the 2nd bathing suit image.

Bra shopping and bathing suit shopping are the 2 forms of shopping that reduce me to tears...

hope you heal/feel better soon!
Anonymous said…
Ew, she's all splotchy! Models are supposed to be pefect. Wha happened?

I got an enormous kick out of that video. Am also wondering if you were a wee bit tipsy when writing this post. What with the wine and all.

mckie2 said…
The bathing suit? - Apparently someone with no butt or boobs can wear that.

For the cold sore go to your dermatologist (or other doctor) and get a prescription for Valtrex. At the very first sign of a new outbreak take 2 pills twice a day for 1 day and it will stop that sucker dead in it's tracks. You have to do this when you notice the first little itch or bump. I use Blistex to help in the drying up.

I used to get a cold sore about once every couple of months - caused by stress at work, I do believe. After I started using Valtrex I got fewer and fewer outbreaks. It has been at least 2 years since my last.
Amy A. said…
#11 is over-rated, anyway.
Unknown said…
Re #7, Dr. Scholl's Rub Relief Strips are a godsend for relieving frictional discomfort in shoes--whether it's a strap or a seam or a heel rubbing. I think you can find it in most Walgreen's or drug stores. I used to carry the little dispenser in my purse, just in case.