things which cannot be accomplished directly following painting one's nails but which must be done the very second one has finished painting them

  1. Eating potato chips from the bag.
  2. Using the lav.
  3. Moving the laundry from the washing machine to the dryer.
  4. Putting on shoes.
  5. Nosepicking.
  6. Loading the dishwasher.
  7. Opening the mail.
  8. Kneading dough.
  9. Okay, I lied - I needn't knead dough right this minute, but you can imagine, can't you?
  10. And that's nice, isn't it? Needing to knead?
  11. Undoing the auto numbering key thing gives me the shits.
  12. I wrote that for Kim.

14. There. That's for Kim too.
15. I think my nails might be dry.


KPB said…
I love you. That is all.

Oh, except what colour did you paint them? I love the idea of painting my nails but then when I do feel instantly claustrophobic, like my fingers can't breath.

Yes, you may kill me with a tray now.
Crazy Mom! said…
You forgot - putting on hose. oh, and scratching your head, especially with hair of some length...

Anonymous said…
It's been years now that I varnish my nails right before going to bed usually to watch a movie or something, imagine me lying down with my hands up jazz style.
Yeah, that's it.
But it works. No urgent needs, I've eaten already and if I have to sctratch my head ... I'll use the remote!
... nosepicking ... ?!
You forgot have to go to the bathroom.

Whenever my nails are wet, my cat decides he NEEDS to run his furry body along my arm/hand.
Magpie said…
so, you can type though?
Amy A. said…
What about... reaching into the makeup bag for lipstick, putting on tights, petting the cat... Putting on your coat.

Have you ever woken up in the morning and your nails have sheet marks on them? :)
Anonymous said…
Which is a good reason not to paint my nails. I did enjoy that video. Jeff Vadar. Too cute.
Karen Dietrich said…
Haha...I do the same as Paola -- lay in bed at night with my wet nail-polished fingers fanned out jazz style. And in spite of my best efforts, I still wake up with sheet marks from time to time. I am ecstatic about the gray nail polish movement. My shade of choice is called wet cement.
Mary said…
Yep - it was the typing that got me too!

Opening cans of dog food?
ErinH said…
I love Paola's indignation at #5. Snort. And now I shall go to sleep dreaming of nicely painted jazz hands.
Anonymous said…
Don't try to tie your shoe, scratch your head (and you know it will be itchy) or stitch the binding on a quilt.
Suse said…
I do love that deathstar canteen clip. As does my youngest child. Begs to watch it on a regular basis.

Now, while I have your attention, the other day I read your blog at work (bad bad worker) and saw a bit about how we could download your app and listen to you, but when I got home to download it (didn't download it at work, am bad bad worker but not appallingly bad worker), it was gone.

Directions please?
Unknown said…
I love Eddie Izzard! Hadn't seen any of the Lego animations of his bits--fabulous! Thanks for introducing me to them...or them to me...or both...whichever! However you want to slice it, I shared this one on Facebook, thanks to you. So, again, thanks, bb!