when do I go back to work?

The transition from work life to home life is still not easy for me.
When I'm home I have too much time to focus on things better left to work themselves out (or not).
Among them: Youngest has been approved for an injection therapy and I had to be interviewed twice and will need Epi Pen training. It's better not to google the side-effects, I've discovered.
He's been medication-free for a couple of weeks and I get tense if he clears his throat (an asthma attack without his daily medicines could be very dangerous). I know if I was at work I wouldn't have so much time to think about it all.
Are Joke and Scot still here? My mammogram went well and we decided against aspirating anything which was a nice turn of events (I know people say aspiration is no biggie, but I don't care for it - I'm a big baby).
With all this time on my hands I've been doing laundry (hand washing) and repairing things and organizing (you should see the cabinet above my desk) and watching television.
I have two new favorite shows:

Holmes on Homes

Bang For Your Buck

Holmes on Homes features a big brute of a fellow with a heart of gold. He arrives at the houses of bedraggled consumers who have been victimized by unscrupulous contractors (and there seem to be PLENTY of them) where he surmises the violations/damages and sets things right. He's half pro-wrestler and half minister of goodness - and, as far as I'm concerned, completely irresistible. He proceeds to rip houses apart and show us everything his predecessor has done wrong. I'm learning all about things like insulation and how to brace a roman spa tub. I did feel a little let down last night when he finished a house that had been brutalized by bad electrical work without telling us how he might have resolved the issue of the lien the contractor put on the family, but I forgave him when he bought the couple a new washing machine.
I feel smug watching Holmes on Homes, as if I'd never be stupid enough to give someone 25% of the fee BEFORE they started the job or smart enough to know that the HVAC system needs smaller ducts upstairs.

Bang For Your Buck pits three sets of home owners against each other, sort of. The show covers three of the same renovations with the same budget. It tends to be three bathrooms costing $50,000 each or three $70,000 kitchens. Each couple gives a tour of their new room and discusses the choices they've made. (We decided to go with this funky neoprene counter top here on the island...we spent the extra $5000 on the shower with music and four heads...we've always wanted a fireplace in the kitchen...). Then an HGTV designer and a real estate agent tour the room and discuss the choices each family has made. (They'll never sell this house with a neoprene counter top! That shower is ridiculous and orange! A fireplace in the kitchen is cozy but there's no place for a table!) The couples watch these reactions on tape and defend themselves (Good thing we don't WANT to sell the house! Orange is my favorite color! I hate tables IN the kitchen!). Finally, the agent and designer tell us which of the houses has more "bang for the buck." Who made good spending choices. I love it! It's the perfect opportunity for me to think: why the hell would they put the toilet over there? who chose those hideous tiles? and feel justified when the team agree with me. And, believe me, I know full well that my kitchen is far too yellow, that our backsplash is a joke and that our shower will have to be re-configured when we sell this house. Still, I'm smug.

There's been a marathon of House Hunters International going on - another of my favorites - and for a moment I thought I'd be too bored watching them all again. Then my pal B pointed out that one could make a game of it and see if we remember which homes each person chose. Genius. Still, I didn't feel like sitting through the Cypress episode again - though, did you see the one on Malta? With the two million dollar budget? With the tacky furniture? That's a good episode.

These shows have inspired us to clean our basement (yes friends, if you WERE to drop by today I MIGHT let you go down there) and put up new fixtures in the downstairs bathroom.
That second job was accomplished by Middle "using only hand-tools" and he regaled me with many stories of airborne fecal matter while doing it. (I think this is MythBusters knowledge.)

But wait! This just in: my cable company has dropped Food Network (which I'm pretty meh about) AND HGTV (which I am certainly NOT meh about).
No HHI?!

Woe is me.

Fortunately, I'm back to work on Monday.


Grandma Cebe said…
I thought that I was the only one who tried to remember which house they picked on HHI reruns.

I love "Bang for the Buck" and was glad last night when a new episode was aired. And don't get me started on "Spice Up My Kitchen".

I'll have to start watching "Holmes on Home".

As you can tell, I would go into deep depression if my cable company dropped HGTV.
Kelly said…
A long time reader delurking to profess my love for Holmes on Homes. I tell my husband that if Mike holmes knocked on our door I wouldn't even pack a bag. I don't know if they'll show the New Orleans one in reruns, but the house he built there with Brad Pitt was georgous.
Stephanie said…
Happy New Year to you all....what a lovely picture that is, of your porch.

Now I want to watch both of those shows.

And, EpiPens are amazing. Truly amazing. I've been unlucky enough to have to use one but lucky enough to see how well they work. I wish Youngest the best and hope that you'll never have to try one.
unmitigated me said…
Sometimes the only way I get the laundry done is by telling myself I can watch HGTV while I do it!
We were stuck in the middle of Fox and Brighthouse Cable having a spitting contest this week.

Full page ads in the paper! YOU WILL LOSE all your Fox Reality Shows! and 24! and OHHH NOOO! The U of FL New Year's Day Game!!

Middle is artistic AND handy around the house? You need to clone that kid.
Loretta said…
The basement got cleaned? You do need to go back to work.

Know exactly what you mean. Dither between total sloth/eating/reading and organizing everyone and everything until they yell at me.

And Cablevision! A pox on them. I am seriously considering picketing. Then again, I will no longer have any need for a TV exc for Mon p.m. with my boyfriend Tony.
Unknown said…
Time to get rid of cablevision and move to Verizon. Because there is no reason on God's green earth to get cable without HGTV. None.

Mike Holmes is my virtual husband, so hands off. He is the man, all big and burly in his overalls but with a heart of gold. Did you see the one where he did an entire neighborhood's fences? Or the one where he did the garage, the GIANT garage that the canadian govt insisted the owner put in a shower? That was a classic.

Bang for the Buck isn't my favorite because the real estate agents always irritate me. They see the house ONLY as a commodity to sell, and not as a home that fits the family. Some of the homes are gorgeous and the RE agent totally disses them because they are too 'personal'. Isn't that the POINT of a good home design, to reflect the people who live there and not make the house so banal that anyone could live there?

I'm a huge fan of new home buyers shows. Some of those poor people are SO deluded. I enjoy watching their hopes dashed as they get the reality that first time homebuying is rarely going to get you a mansion. You're lucky (at least where I live) if you have a roof over your head!
Defunct Lisa said…

I'm sorry... I had a hard time focusing on anything else in your post once you introduced this concept to my current waiting-for-mammo-results reality!

I noticed Holmes on Homes because I just discovered this caring man; and if my cable company got rid of HGTV, I may get rid of my cable company! Its hard enough not having BBC America!

(Sorry about the Youngest health stresses!)
sue in Brabant said…
* Epi Pen training* sounds very scary.
Scot said…
Yes, yes, I'm still here, but please tell me that I didn't comment on your mammogram. I know I can be crass at times but I can't imagine what would make me comment on anybody's mammogram. I'm horrifid! What did I say?

Fox network is trying to get $1.00 per customer from each of the cable companies that broadcast their signal. So far adelphia and comcast have said no. They threatened to go dark on the fox channels rather than negotiate. If they cave in to this all the other networks might do the same and EVERYBODY'S bill will skyrocket.

By the way, have you watched the deleted scenes yet?
Anonymous said…
I would enjoy watching tv with you. I also love anything with Phil Spencer. Touring the English countryside today? Excellent.

I don't think I'd want cable if they removed HGTV from my lineup.

We've got a fifth ear surgery scheduled on the 5th for our Youngest. It's a simple thing, but the worry worry is exhausting.
Anonymous said…
9:56 = ErinH
Poppy B. said…
bird, what are you talking about? Your shower is fabulous. Total selling point.

Also, what is this I've missed while I've been driving and/or eating plum pudding? Aspiration? Please tell me that's a new show on HGTV where you buy a normal looking house and then McMansion-ize it? If so, my neighbors are going to be on it.

I'm now going to dig through your archives, even though it's hard work, since you only put two paltry posts up on your main page, tsk tsk tsk.
Ann said…
ooh was wondering the whole time I was reading your words about HGTV... does she know? does she know? And yes, of course you do. I'm sorry - hope there will be a different resolution for your location.

About home reno people: something I've noticed over the years is that each loves to diss the work of the previous contractor.

I agree with Poppy, why the shortage of posts on the main page? Knowing you, I bet there is a sensible reason as to why you've chosen this particular set-up.
Anonymous said…
I'm so glad to report I've only had one bad experience with a contractor ever.
Our cable company nearly cut FOX from us which is okay since Glee is on the internet, too. What's up with this cutting of stations, I wonder. And why is it never stations like QVC?
Unknown said…
I had to have epi pen training when i taught ccd! You can do it! I also love Bang for your Buck and routinely watch HHI .. i plan to start shopping soon for a vacation home in the Caribbean (Mexico was last year). HAPPY NEW YEAR! (mostly just lurking these days...)

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