Anthropologie, my quirky friend*

Picture 1

How will I wear it?
How will I wear it?
Oh, Anthro, you don't know me very well, do you?

This dress/skirt/cover-up is exactly the type of garment, one would agree, appears to be quite versatile.
Look! She's wearing it as a dress and another dress and a third dress and a skirt! Why, heck, I'll bet it can be a poncho and a veil as well!

Let's look closer, shall we?

Picture 7

Here it is without the benefit of a human body underneath it. In this incarnation it seems almost for the fact that very, very few women can pull off strapless AND open in the cleavage area. Hence, in its simplest form, I cannot wear it.
But there are many other options:

Picture 2

Sadly, I'm pretty sure this version would have a sort of water balloon effect on my bust-line. (If you work with me and are reading this, please, click away now, it's only going to get worse.)

This option:
Picture 3

is not flattering on the rail-thin, flat-chested model. In my mind, one should wear this without a bathing suit underneath it (if one has the figure and nerve for it) or not at all. If a lady (and I may have to use that term loosely) is going to wear a plunging neckline, she should go for it. The bra/bikini top is a cop-out. Listen to me. I know. I know, but I won't be wearing it.

Picture 4

What the hell is this? I'm sorry. That's all I can muster for this version. How long did it take them to seek out and twist the fabric into one asymmetrical strap? Why? Why would I wear it this way? Who could wear it this way with a straight face? I'll tell you who: a character in Star Trek, that's who.

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I'm guessing it would drag on the floor as a skirt.

Picture 5

And why doesn't she have a top on?

At $68.00 it's not badly priced if, in fact, one could do all those things with it.
I'm pretty talented at tying a scarf - but I think this, uh, dress, would prove to be challenging. (I know you appreciate my use of itals.)

It's okay.
Anthropologie has plenty of other things to spend money on.

Picture 6

What? You can't see yourself in a jersey romper?

*A very long time ago a particular internet friend of mine did an absolutely unforgettable post on Anthropologie. I've asked her to re-post it, but, so far, no luck!


Jen on the Edge said…
That garment is quite odd and I can't imagine who would wear it.
Stephanie said…
You'll have to tell us if she does. I loved this one.

I think the jersey romper is kind of cute. Reminds me of when I was 10.

(would only wear if I were much younger)
Karen Dietrich said…
I've been feeling kind of blue today, and this post? This post just made me smile (and even laugh out loud a little). Thanks for that!
MsCellania said…
Have you seen the crappe in the American Apparel website?
Rompers are back, lycra is back, the butt-ugly 80's are back.
Anonymous said…
That dress, on the mannequin with an iron bust, looks like a cute top.

As for the return of the romper, that just leaves me without words. Except one. NO.

Anonymous said…
AMEN sister.


you wanna hear my WF?


loretta said…
You see how great you are? I was perplexed by the same ad and was going to address it, but I knew you'd do it better!

I'm thinking it will only exist on those under 30 and/or as a beach coverup.
Allison said…
My mom made e a similar romper / swim suit cover up thingy when I was 6--but out of a heavy bath towel material. SO WRONG!!!!
eurolush said…
Ai mami...the romper. Yo quiero.

You know, some things are hard to replicate. Try as we might.

But maybe that particular friend will make it up to you...some day soon. If you're very good.
Anonymous said…
That thing seems very un-Anthro to me. I wonder what's up.

Anonymous said…
A romper? A ROMPER??? FOR A GROWN WOMAN??? I have the perfect accessory--yes, a pacifier.
alice c said…
It is not a romper - it is a swimsuit for those with a wax-phobia.
Poppy Buxom said…
They call it a cover up. But what does it cover? I mean, I guess you could use it to get from the beach to your car, but not all of us cover up because we're feeling giddy and flirty and thought we'd use two Hermes scarves knotted together ... but decided this would be more practical.

The rest of us cover up because one more second of sunshine and we'll turn into lobsters. Then there is the question of our flab.

Magic change-a-strap features don't block enough sun or cover enough flab.
Caterina said…
Hey I think that CPL in listed at the top of pic 1 is me :) how cool is that?

You're funny. And so is alice c
Anonymous said…
Does anyone actually romp?

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