sick day = All My Children and dozens of emails and phone calls

So, crippled by The Sore Throat From Hell, I decided to take my first-ever sick day.
My plan?
Drive the boys to school.
Go back to bed.
Sleep until noon.
Take a shower.
Watch All My Children.
Take a nap.
Have a piece of spinach pie.
Go back to bed.

- Good plan, right? WELL. How, in 6 months, did I forget that the DAMN phone rings all the time at my house?
It started off well enough. I hobbled out to the car in my yoga pants and tee shirt and drove the boys to school with my head feeling like a cinder block. (Do my Australians know what a cinder block is? ) and limped back home. And I did manage to sleep. For a while.
But then the DAMN phone started ringing: K's tapes are ready. K's tapes are ready and they don't know where to ship them. Youngest's prescription is at the pharmacy. Youngest's prescription IS AT THE PHARMACY. (They called twice.) Esquire Staff (The magazine? The whole staff of the magazine?). Then, my personal favorite: the company that calls to remind you that the warranty on the car you haven't owned for a year is expiring. BTW, that last call was the only one I answered.
In between not answering the phone and napping I checked my email and tried to ignore how messy my house was.
Here's an example of the kind of email I receive a dozen of each day -
Hi Editor
The first day of spring is this Friday, March 20, and ProQuo has a great idea to kick off your spring cleaning activities with the family – get rid of all that unwanted junk mail clogging up your mailbox.

ProQuo ( is an easy to use, one-stop Web site that helps stop up to 90% of your unwanted junk mail with just a few clicks of a button. By logging into ProQuo, you can take control of who gets access to your personal information, and choose which catalogs, credit cards and other offers you would like to receive, dramatically cutting down wasted solicitations and important mail clumped in with offers that you don’t want.

Not a bad idea ProQuo people, what about the unwanted emails I receive tons of each day?

AMC time rolled around pretty quickly. What's going on in Pine Valley?
Well, Kendall is out of her coma and separated from Zach, Frankie is going to Iraq (he's BEEN going for six months), there are still no ugly people in Pine Valley, Greenlee seems to be dead BUT, apparently, they haven't found her body. Kendall and Ryan go to identify a body and base their identification on seeing Greenlee's ring in a zip bag next to the body! I was yelling (and coughing) at the television! One CANNOT base a corpse ID on a ring! Oy.
Obviously this means that Greenlee is alive somewhere and has lost or sold her ring. Seesh.

I took another little nap after the exhaustion of watching AMC proved too much, took a shower and started to try feel human.

In other news: I'm anxious to wear some Spring clothes. And I need a pair of cream colored footless tights - or leggings, OR SOMETHING comparable to complete my Spring Look.
I think I'll put some woolens away this weekend.
Thrilling, isn't it?

Oh! Hey! Listen: (I'm using lots of colons today) Survivor isn't on this week and there are commercials on daytime tv for "affordable cremation."


Badger said…
This is why I haven't written that book, by the way. (Except for the soaps. I gave up OLTL years ago because ENOUGH WITH TODD AND BLAIR ALREADY.)
Allison said…
I would rather have another c-section than a sore throat from Hell ANY DAY. I hope you are feeling better! Oh, and I would love to see the outfit that you will be assembling to go with those footless tights. I am not sure if that is a look that I can pull off.
Oh yeah, things happen very slowly in Pine Valley. I have been working day shifts and haven't seen it in a week...same old, same old. Greenlee is alive, I'm sure.
smalltownme said…
I hate those warranty calls. My 12-year-old gets them on his cell phone. ridiculous.
MsCellania said…
I seldom remember that our answering machine has a wonderful feature that sends calls to voicemail BEFORE the phone rings. If I do click that button to actually get some rest during the day, I then forget to change it back for days -- and wonder why in the hell nobody is calling.
Sorry you're sick. Hope all those menfolk are taking care of you - big 'HA!', I'm sure...
Anonymous said…
If you are staying home again today, I think you should turn the ringer off and the machine way down. You did not get much rest at all.

I LOVE Kathy Griffin. Even when she isn't being funny, she just sounds funny with that crazy gravelly voice.

Anonymous said…
Dang, remind me not to take a sick day anytime soon. Sounds like a total drag.
Eleanor said…
Stop everything and go visit Esti in Spain:

Love, Eleanor.
Anonymous said…
I'd do footless tights over leggings. They should be lighter for spring. I'm not a reality show person, but I think Kathy Griffin is funny, so I bet her show is tolerable
Anonymous said…
Wait, I could have called you.
Shat IS a cinder block?
an Italian
Miz S said…
Glad you took a day off. TV and naps are good for sore throats.
Anonymous said…
You are now going to require a mental health day to make up for your sick day.
Husband, by the way, calls them breeze blocks.
I hope you find a good throat soothing cure soon. Nothing worse than feeling like you swallowed razor blades.
Amy A. said…
I thought survivor was on tonight? Is it one of those replay shows with 2 minutes of previously unseen footage? Agh. I even called home to make sure the hubby reset the DVR.

One less thing to look forward to.
(in which to look forward?)

You might need to take tomorrow off, too, in order to recover from today's sick day!
Mary said…
As someone who has indulged in a little daytime tv of recent times (truly only a little) I am astounded by the advertisers who seem to think that all of us need to put some pep into our love lives! Particularly men.

I'm off to see what Eleanor was on about!

Popular Posts