it's Sunday and I'm asking: WHAT'S THE DEAL?

This always happens to me. I find a new blog, a blog I've never seen before. I'm intrigued enough to read back through a bit of the archives. I'm intrigued enough to bookmark the blog (but not enough add it to bloglines) and the person doesn't post for three weeks. What is up with that?

I'll be checking my stats (which I barely do once a week nowadays) and notice a few referrals from a place I've never heard of. I'll click over to it and I'm on the person's blogroll. Why didn't they tell me?

Someone mentions me in a post but doesn't link to me. What's up with that? Lazy? Don't want me to know? (Present company excluded on this one - friends in my blog circle TALK ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME and everyone knows who they mean, so linking isn't really necessary.)

A few of the blogs I check on a semi-regular basis (maybe once or twice a week) have the same templates with the exact same illustration-y business in the header. I'll be damned if I know the players of their blogs - hell, I can't even remember their names at this moment, and it's not because I don't read them often enough, it's because their blogs LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME.

Sometimes I'll be reading a blog for months at a time and then realize that I don't enjoy it. The writer will have gone on for ages about a bad marriage or terrible relationship with their children or family and I will have KEPT READING without realizing that I REALLY DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT IT. When I wake up and delete the bookmark/blogline for that blog I feel like a new person.

I also tend to read blogs wherein the writer is always buying/cooking/making stuff. Sometimes it's fun to see what they are buying/cooking/making but I tend to find that if that is ALL the writer writes about I leave.

Lots of times, in my blog reading career, someone will write a post wherein they describe a situation in which they feel they were wronged. They will go into great detail about this injustice and tell the readers how they reacted and how they plan on handling the perpetrator in the future. It could be a mother in law or friend or husband...I'll be on the edge of my seat with the tension of the situation I'm reading about before I realize that I DON'T WANT TO READ THIS and I believe the writer has misinterpreted the situation and is wrong herself. I'll click into the comments to see if anyone feels as I do and NO ONE DOES. Am I wrong, I wonder, or are all these commenters crazy?

And am I the only person who can click onto a blog and be totally lost? Who's the husband? Which anagram is the kid who plays soccer? Is the woman I'm reading the bad thing about your mother? or your neighbor? I thought you were having surgery and it turns out you went ON VACATION. Oh.

I think I need to cut down on my reading list. The weather is nice - I could go outside.


Anonymous said…
No, you're not the only person. My bloglines is only 50 blogs full and I like it this way. I'm not overwhelmed with "OH MY GAH, I HAVE 599 NEW FEEDS?!" and I am able to follow these bloggers' lives relatively easily.

"And am I the only person who can click onto a blog and be totally lost? Who's the husband? Which anagram is the kid who plays soccer?"

That is why "About Me" is essential.
Jess said…
Absolutely! I need to prune my blogroll again - there are a few where I can't remember who they really are - and if I can't remember that after reading their post, should I really be reading them?

Also, bb? You're on my blogroll.
alice c said…
I suppose that blogs can be divided into two categories: those that are written to entertain other people and those that are written to entertain the writer. The problem arises if you read the second category because they are boring, self centred and can leave you feeling that you have wasted your time. There is no law against people filling the Internet with boring, self centred blogs but I sometimes wish that there could be a content advisory service.

Say La Vee is, of course, the numero uno among blogs written to entertain the reader.
Jennifer said…
I don't even know where to begin to understand what bloglines is. And I've been blogging for something like five years now. lol. It's okay, don't bother trying to explain.

I really hope that I'm not any of those you mentioned! I know I can't be the same template girl :)
Jan said…
Yes, yes, yes. In your inimitable way, you've crystalized a number of vague inclinations I've had for months. Definitely time to trim my Bloglines. *Spring cleaning*
:) yeah- I try and keep the ones I really read in my reader-
guess what- yr one of em :)
Ali said…
And then sometimes you read a post and the writer just has you snorting with laughter and thinking 'I think so too, but have never been brave enough to say it'.

And if you really want to know a secret - I subscribe to a couple of blogs just so I can read them and think 'silly cow' when I am feeling particularly spiteful. You see, I don't have a cat to kick...
MizMell said…
Whew! I thought you were talking about ME.
I have plans to revitalize my blog after I complete this web design class. Two more weeks--and I have great plans...
Stephanie said…
I guess I am one of those that write to entertain myself and my family first...self centered? sure. That's why I started it! :) Readers are a fun treat but it's mainly for me.

I love the feeling of cutting a blog loose. I have had that exact, why am I spending MY time reading THIS?! buh bye. I don't think the blogs I've cut are bad at all, just not for me.

So, I guess I may be included in your list of blogs that bore you after a while but I am (mostly) okay with that. :)
Anonymous said…
You've hit a nail on the head with this entry. So true and an inspiration to get to my own computer housecleaning. I very much like your diversity of subjects and the way you go about blogging. There are only a handful of blogs that I read each day. Yours is one of them. Thanks.
MsCellania said…
I'm so lazy I use YOUR bloglines to get to people as I lost my links when my computer died. Six months ago.
I decided I only had time to read about 10 blogs a day so I don't blog shop any more. I think fopr all the reasons you've so nicely stated.
Anonymous said…
Why didn't you tell me I'm on your blogroll?
Smile, I'm taking your screenshot.
Anonymous said…
I must now apologize, nay--BEG for forgiveness.

For, I did not let you know you were on my blogroll.

Here, on bended knee, with arms outstretched--toward the bird who doth dress in black--I humbly offer my deepest regrets.

Aw, bb--you're cute when you get all irritated and discombobulated.
Anonymous said…
You asked for it!

Oh yeah - you're on my blogroll, but you knew that, right?
AMY said…
I'm a total lurker on your blog. I think I may have left a comment or two before. I laughed at what you said about checking the comments to see if someone feels the way you do about someone situation "AND NO ONE DOES." I sometimes wonder if people think that about some of the stuff that I write about. Sometimes the blog world can have a better sense of the situation because they are not so close to it. I'd give your opinion even if it doesn't match everyone else's.

Speaking of weather, it snowed here. It's April and my rhodies and daffodils are frozen. That's why I snuggled into my jammies and blogging this morning.
islaygirl said…
i'll have you know that i always link to you when i mention you!

and you're on my blogroll, but you probably know that.
tut-tut said…
I don't have a blogroll; should I?? I have people on RSS feed and have bookmarked them.

I don't enjoy reading about the wronged and the outraged; I stop reading and don't go back. Those who are truly in crisis usually need a hand to hold, cyber or otherwise. These I try to offer solace to.

There isn't enough time in the day to read EVERYTHING, is there?
StLmom said…
You're on my blogroll. And, I've linked to you (but you know that). And, of course, we met briefly at BlogHer and then I got all abashed, embarrassed and gushy.
Helen said…
delurker speaking. I just linked to you. I don't think I'm too guilty of some of the, errrr, useful feedback you have posted here. But you know, we bow before your bloggy brilliance. Really we do.
TheOneTrueSue said…
You're on my blogroll. Not sure if I ever mentioned it, but - now you know.

Whenever someone links to me I get all bashful and can't think of anything humorous to post about.

One time someone fairly largish linked to me, sending me tons of traffic, and it freaked me out so badly that I couldn't post coherently for weeks. I was afraid everything was too dull, too mundane, too boring. And it probably was.

That's why I stopped checking my traffic stats - all the crazy making.
Anonymous said…
Maybe people don't tell you if they've added you to their blogroll because informing you could sound like a thinly-veiled request for you to reciprocate? I'm generally lost when it comes to these finer points of netiquette, but that's my best guess.
Amy A. said…
Oh, dear. I know for a fact that I am a template offender. Maybe one of these days I'll learn how to be more creative there! I've actually got it on my big to-do list.

Also, yes, you should go outside. It's so nice out!
Poppy B. said…
I didn't know you were supposed to let people know you've linked to them.

I figured if they checked their referrers, they'd figure it out.

But just to make sure I haven't broken any rules, I linked to you on my blog AND I have you in bloglines AND I follow on Twitter AND I wish you'd sign up for FaceBook.
Unknown said…
Gosh, I hope I'm not one of the folks you refer to!

I'm afraid I'm guilty of at least one of the offenses listed, without meaning to. Yikes!

I just spent the afternoon walking around Riverside Park. Lovely day! Hope you spent some time outside, as well.
Anonymous said…
My issue: Every time I find someone new and interesting, they decide to "retire". Gah!
Anonymous said…
Oh, I am quite sure I am guilty of adding you to my blogroll without telling you, and I'm sorry. It was a list of bookmarks, and then it migrated to a blogroll, and I certainly should have told you, but I never thought of it. Yikes.
I find that when I find a new blog, I have to find the details! Are they married? Do they have kids? How old are their kids? Where do they live! And sometimes it takes a while for me to realize that I don't like someone. Sometimes the more I read the more I love someone. Sometimes I think the person is a little short-sighted, or misguided, and I still read their blog because there's something about either their voice or their situation that interests me. And sometimes, I'm ashamed to say, I read a blog just because they publish every day, even though I'm not really interested in them at all. (I am a little bit, obviously.) But you -- I like you and your blog! (Plus, I have children of similar ages, and it's reassuring to see that other people's children also worry them, from time to time, or make them proud.)
Also -- I think people often tend to write about some thing -- a conflict, or a decision -- as a way of figuring something out. Once they're figured it out, they never come back and tell you what they've decided, or how it all turned out. So you never hear about that part, which you're sort of interested in (having spent a week with them examining it from every angle). I's imagine I do that myself --
Okay -- that's all!
Anonymous said…
I am not a blogger, nor am I a part of bb's circle of friends who blog. I can see how being involved (binvolved?) in other's lives in this manner might lead to the need to "spring clean", as it were. But for me, reading just bb's blog is just enough, and I am so happy to have stumbled upon it.

KPB said…
Handing you a nice blue tray dried in the rainforest.

What I want to know is how I swear I only looked at your blog an hour ago and now I've come back and there's an awesome long post (the kind of which I love) and 27 comments. WTF?

I may well have to kill you with that tray.
That One said…
I confess! I am SO guilty of adding you to my blog roll and not telling you.

I'd like to write it off as new blogger stupidity, but I should've left a comment or something! (Especially after you left me a nice comment telling me I should have done so.) (Am *red faced* over here!)

I've never linked to one of your posts but will make sure I tell you if I do.
Suse said…
You know, the other day you mentioned me but didn't link to me, although you mentioned Kim and also linked to her and I felt a wee bit hurt.

But then I KNOW you love me best. Right?


Anonymous said…
I try to keep my Google Reader updated with only the blogs I read, but then someone will comment on my blog and then I'll feel obligated to comment on theirs and then they'll keep commenting on mine, so then I'll feel obligated to read them somewhat regularly and comment on occasion, especially if it's someone new to blogging and their comments are low, so then it gets to be a bit overwhelming.


Okay, and that was quite the run-on sentence, wasn't it?
Wendy said…
Okay, aren't you one of the people who convinced me to start a blog about all the stuff I'm making? I'm just saying...

And you are not the crazy person when you read about someone's overreaction to a situation. That's why I stopped reading a whole lot of blogs. And as the weather gets better and I have to be out watching the kids(in a vain hope of avoiding another trip to the er), I'll be reading even less.
robin said…
I guess I never knew you cared. So here you are. Officially on my blogroll.
Mary said…
Well that is quite a can of guilty worms you have opened!!

I keep the number of blogs I read to about 60 or so. Several of them I just read and rarely comment (usually those beautiful eye candy blogs where a comment is not really needed). If I went over this number it would just be ridiculously hard to keep up with and I do like to be a regular commenter on those blogs I read.

Hope your breakfast was good!

PS I have had your blog listed in my sidebar for so long I can't even remember if I told you or not. I do know I never told you I noticed you had me linked twice for a while there. Because I am evil that way!
RW said…
are we supposed to inform the person we link too? I didn't know that? I have you in my sidebar because you are probably the first blog I check every morning.
Laura Jane said…
Me too, but I think you've been to see me and said Hi before now. I think.I'm also not sure of the netiquette, and don't want anyone to feel obliged to link back to me. Although it was nice to find myself on a couple of blogrolls.

Its been a busy 6 months since I started blogging. Anyway I don't visit every day, and I don't have bloglines cos I've never figured out how, and I don't particularly want my inbox filling up with emails about how someone has posted!(If that's how it works.And I hardly ever look at the stats, but I do look for the number of comments.

But it was a good prompt to springclean the Favourites List, and probably the Blogroll online (on which you are present).And I am SOOOOO gonna liberate myself by cutting some loose! I saw a few candidates in Faves as I navigated here!

Sometimes I just cry laughing at what you write. You've got a knack.

Thanks for the metaphorical kick up the behind.

Yours (still)

Anonymous said…
Okay, that was hysterical. We (blog readers/obsessor-s) can totally relate. I usually realize it is time to delete a blog from bloglines when they have 50+ unread posts and I can't recall why I added them to begin with.
Annagrace said…
You're hilarious. And I agree (mostly).
Anonymous said…
I agree. I get lost and I get bored and I get depressed and I get addicted reading blogs. I adore the predictability of some, hate this trait in others. I've self-edited my comments and I have wondered where people have disappeared to. As always, Blackbird, you thoughtfully nail the whole of it:)
Mary said…
Like some others, I was guilty of having you on my sidebar without informing you. As Jen said above, I've always seen a "hey you're on my "favorites" list" comment as a plea to reciprocate- something I wouldn't do.

I put the "favorites" list on the blog in the first place because those who do read my blog (all 8 or so of my family and friends) might like to see those who I've found interesting, entertaining or thought provoking. I waffle back and forth as to whether or not that's necessary. Right now, I've ditched it - next week it might be back.

So abject apologies all around if I've transgressed on the finer points of netiquette.

And I thought high school was tough.

BTW, after all the compliments I'm not sure you want more, but most blogs (sadly including my own at times) bore me. Yours is one of the few that never fails to entertain.
dennis said…
Dennis is really trying to change and not be boring.
country mouse said…
You've been on my blogroll for . . . . since I started blogging a year ago : ) I never mentioned it because I didn't think the big kids on the playground much cared about what the little kids were up to. No insecurity here : )

And regarding so many blog templates looking the same? Mine falls into that category too, but it's only because I'm completely technotarded. And that's all I have to say about that.