there's still time to shop

Neiman Marcus hasn't sent me their Christmas catalogue either.
Do you think they know that I lean toward the snark?
We all know that they cannot escape my critique.
And, even though I'm a little disappointed in them for forgetting me, I think I can find some gifts worthy of discussion...

Neiman's is known for very extravagant offerings.

Where else would you buy this?

bar trunk

This particular gift is listed with the items to buy for family and friends.
It's a Waterford Crystal Bar Trunk and I think it's suitable for families AND friends.
Buy two!

What's included:

• Solid rosewood trunk with linen covering and handcrafted leather trim.
• Inside, hanging space for stemware, four drawers, three shelves, and 15 wine bottle slots.
• Inside door, two glassware shelves and ten individual bottle compartments.
• Three Bolton bowls; 5" diameter.
• One signed Bolton Magnum decanter.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold cabernet/merlot glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold chardonnay glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold cognac glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold martini glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold montrachet glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold pinot noir glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold bordeaux glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold vintage champagne glasses.
• One pair of Connoisseur Gold champagne flutes.
• One pair of Connoisseur port/cognac VSOP glasses.
• One Lismore 4" x 6" frame.
• Eight 2-ounce Lismore cordial glasses.
• One Lismore Nouveau Uptown carafe.
• One signed Lismore Nouveau decanting carafe.
• One Lismore wine coaster.
• One signed Lismore ice bucket with tongs.
• 20 Lismore 9-ounce old-fashioned glasses.
• Eight Lismore double old-fashioned glasses.
• Eight Lismore pilsner glasses.
• One signed Lismore Ships decanter.
• One signed Lismore wine decanter; 13"H.
• Eight Lismore 12-ounce straight highball glasses.
• One signed Lismore footed spirit decanter.
• One Keswick bar set.
• One Medallion clock.
• One O'Connel 2-Part serving dish.
• Eight Rosenthal Versace Borocco 7" diameter dishes.

Sounds good to me.
Shipping is $490, but we're not worried about THAT, are we?

Do people still give paperweights?

raw diamond

This isn't a paperweight - it's a 305 carat uncut diamond, and it could be yours for $1,000,000.

Imagine it hanging from a golden braid of pavé diamonds, like something from the Arabian Nights. (Be sure to ask for a rotating bale on the pendant, so you can peer into its mysteries from all angles.)

Call 1.877.9NM.GIFT. Now. Right now.

I'm imagining it - right now.

K loves the idea of underwater exploration, so I'm thinking of ordering this for him.


The future? It's right here, mateys. The folks at U.S. Submarines® whipped up our NM-Edition Gem Triton 1000 with all the sci-fi bells and whistles. ABS-certified, three-axis maneuverability. Dives to 1,000 feet. 360-degree views from your high-density acrylic bubble. Luxury leather seats with our logo. Joystick steering, with a gemstone set in the stick. Matching gemstone key chain. Air conditioning even. In this beauty, you'll be outmaneuvering Captain Nemo in no time.
Your under-the-sea dream machine comes with a comprehensive two-day training program and delivery to your secluded cove anywhere in the U.S. Scratch a fender on a sunken chest? U.S. Submarines provides worldwide service and replacement parts.

They write pithy copy, don't they?
It's $1,440,000 but if he buys me that big diamond we can call it even.

I'm going to check into this -

tree tent

for my brother B, the outdoor guy, and my brother L, who loves a good gadget.

What exactly is going on in there? A totally new way to experience nature. A limited-edition dollop of sci-fi futurism. A 13-foot-tall cred-building choice that silences that, "We hate camping!" whining once and for all. Dutch sculptor and designer Dré Wapenaar has earned international fame for making the world's coolest architectural tents.
Nestled among the branches, up off the ground, there's a nine-foot-diameter hardwood floor and groovy round mattress inside. It sleeps two adults comfortably and also makes the world's coolest tree fort/spaceship (with adjustable planetary landing steps). Send the kids to granny's every once in a while and let the rising sun wake just the two of you.

Never mind.
It sounds too groovy and is $50,000.
We don't usually spend that much on gifts for each other.

Wouldn't this be fun on my front lawn?

custom topiary

First and foremost, it's a living, natural work of art from topiary artist Matthew Larkin, complete with gold-leafed horns, claws, teeth, and fins. With its blown-glass eyes and custom-welded steel frame, it's an investment, really.

Starting at $35,000, I would hope it would be an investment, really.


The power of levitation is an priceless gift. Imagine being able to vacuum under the couch as it floats along the ceiling, having the ability to move the car without driving it, or moving that laundry from the basement to the second floor without lifting a finger...

It's a cashmere sweater.

Youngest was enthralled with all the comments yesterday. I got a call from the school in the afternoon - it was his art teacher who wanted to tell me that he was the most interested, enthusiastic and sincere child she has ever taken to the museum. She said that she saw the art in a different light because of him and enjoyed his company immensely.

I've got to track down that notebook....
I'm very proud of him. This was one of those rare circumstances wherein we have an insight into their lives when they are out there, in the world, without us.
I loved what I saw.


Geggie said…
I don't know what's more ridiculous, the fact that NM puts out this catalog, or the fact that people actually buy the items in it! Craziness!
Unknown said…
Have I told you lately that I love you? (Well, to the extent possible over the internet, never having met and all.) You gave me my first laugh out loud of the morning.

I really like that tree tent. Maybe Target will make a knock-off for the common people version.
Bb, thank you so much for the shopping ideas! This will definitely help me with some of the people on my list, with a few exceptions:

Instead of the Waterford Crystal Bar Trunk, Pete's getting a flask. A plastic one. Or possibly a six pack and a foam cozy to keep his beers cold.

Instead of the 305 carat diamond, my girls will be getting bags of plastic pony beads and the string to make their own necklaces.

Instead of the tent, I'll be giving someone a plastic tarp and some rope to help secure it in place.

Instead of the lawn art, I'm giving my mother some plastic flowers from Walmart.

Oh, and thanks again for having Youngest blog yesterday. He's great.
TheOneTrueSue said…
I wonder if anyone really DOES buy the $1M items, or if it's just - a marketing thing. "Look at us, we're so crazy luxurious, see?" So that you're willing to pay ridiculously inflated prices for a cashmere sweater, because it's from NM.
Fannie said…
Sheesh are you kidding me? From the description the trunk appears to come with no liquor or wine!
Nora :) said…
Of course the submarine is yellow. What other color would it be?
Amy A. said…
I love teachers who tell parents how much they love their kids. So much better than the detention calls.
Alice said…
I want the submarine.
I would even consider sharing it with K...
Though he would have to agree to wear red Team Zissou hats.
Olga said…
Hi, I, too, want to be in your fan club. I have been lurking and thought-hey! Its Thanksgiving! So I crawled outta the wood work to say I likes your blog alot. And the stuff from NM? I bought 3 of each to give to my kids teachers,well, they are just little trinkets and doo-dads after all....
Mary said…
I was very impressed by the Youngest post.

It was worth far more than all that NM extraordinariness put together.
Wendy said…
I couldn't think of anything to say to youngest yesterday that hadn't already been said, but I loved his tour.

Have a lovely Thanksgiving!
KPB said…
okay, Okay, OKAY.
Hang on just one cotton pickin' minute.
Firstly, there's a company called US Submarines that sell submarines to normal people??? GEEEEsus.

I quite fancy the idea of your yard featuring some topiary of size.

That tree pod thingy is hilarious. And moreso that it costs more than a house deposit. Granted, a house deposit for anywhere other than the entire Eastern coast, but you know, you get my meaning. Hopefully.

I've also spent way too much time wondering how you'd get into it. And move around.
KPB said…
Oh and Youngest RULZ da House.

I can't quite believe I just typed that or that I'm going to complete the hundred letter word verification to post it.
Anonymous said…
Do the sailor boys come with the submarine?