We were busy eating cake that was so rich it was deemed Defcon 1.
I had made those half melty, incredible chocolate cakes for K's birthday and because we needed a photograph for our cookbook.
We sang and clapped for him just as the credits began.

At Fay Long, on day 17, Jean Robert is snoring. Todd and a woman in a bikini are having a secret meeting and I have to wait until they show us who she is because I don't know her name. OH. It's Amanda. I feel like I've never seen her before.
Todd and Amanda are discussing the hidden idol.

Cut to a challenge which takes place at what looks like deserted barracks of some sort. The team members look kind of beaten down and scrappy, despite the new bathing suits.
(Oldest realizes that the neighbors across the street have left the interior lights of their new car on and goes to tell them - he returns singing Here I come to save the day! in his Mighty Mouse voice. This distracts me from my note taking.)

The reward for this challenge is tea and toilet paper. The toilet paper for which recent ads feature the bears (who presumably shit in the woods with toilet paper).
It's a puzzle challenge and the teams must run through the empty buildings and remove boards to put into a big puzzle and spell out a quote from Confucius.
During the running PG manages to tell Sherea that they are working for her. I, having been distracted earlier and having had too much cake, am not sure what this means.

SOME PEOPLE ON THE COUCH ARE BUSY PLAYING WITH AN iPHONE. I am still distracted but I manage to see that Fay Long win and they kidnap James.

There are only 3 John Whos left?
James gets his secret message from Jeff and the winning team goes off to the house of tea and TP. They are thrilled, when they arrive, to discover tooth brushes and corn muffins. And, it's true, if you are going to eat corn muffins you are going to need a tooth brush.
There is much bathing.
Sadly, Jame's tushy is pixelated and we can't see it, but we hear from the team that it is damn nice.
Everyone is relaxing in tubs, eating watermelon, having the BEST TIME.

At John Who the 3 lowly members are weary. PG, Eric, and Jamie complain about everyone.
They are upset with Frosti and Sherea but I don't feel connected enough to realize why. Could be the cake.
They HAVE to win immunity.

Back at TP and tea, Todd approaches James and promises to help save him. James knows he's in trouble and hopes Todd is sincere.

Somehow (it could have been the cake) I missed how everyone returned to camp. Suddenly, several team members are aware of the location of the hidden idol and there is some positioning of people at the gate. Amanda is poking at it with a stick and this attracts the attention of Frosti. Todd is there too and when the idol is torn free from the gate Amanda stands on it.

You can put Fred Claus on the list of movies I won't be seeing this holiday season. Sheesh.
Does the iPhone work in Hollyarkizonamerilaricand? We like those commercials. More iPhone playing time...

Frosti, Todd and Amanda have the idol. Todd gives it to James and launches a complicated scheme. If James has the idol and throws the next challenge and then saves himself from the vote he will, according to Todd, sever a tie. I'm completely confused. (Cake? iPhone? Mighty Mouse? I've missed things.) James understands the plot and that's all that matters as we don't want him to go home.
Todd tells Denise the plan and then he tells Courtney.

The immunity challenge is the old eating-disgusting local food challenge.
Not a good time for me.
Chicken hearts are eaten (10!) by PG and Frosti - Frosti wins.
Eel is eaten, surprisingly well, by Jamie and Courtney (she eats!) - Jamie wins.
Baby turtles with their shells (ack) are eaten by Amanda and Eric - Eric wins.
Dead baby chicken fetuses with feathers (OMG) are choked down by Denise and James.
This is rough going for both of them, and we know James is supposed to lose, but after several gags and near pukes, he manages to win. Denise puts in a valiant effort. There is sad, defeated sounding music.
1000 year old black eggs are eaten by Frosti and Eric and Eric wins.
I couldn't possibly keep track of what this all means. I'm having a hard time, what with the cake, but I realize that John Who win, which means James doesn't need to use the idol and he looks very sad.

It's day 18 and Denise feels terrible about having lost the baby chicken eating. Todd's plan is smashed and they decide that Sherea should be voted off.
But Courtney sort of likes Sherea, and we all know she can't stand Jean Robert. She begins to lobby for his being voted out.
She tells Sherea about the vote and then works the rest of the team. But Todd and Amanda aren't sure.
JR says that his gut tells him he isn't 100% safe. We wish he'd put a shirt on his gut.
Todd works the strategy over and over. He knows JR will turn on the alliance later and tells Amanda about this. But she's still not sure.

At tribal council, Sherea knows they have been talking about her. JR tells us that he is a changed person, but knows he is a 'bad boy.' This has Courtney up in very skinny arms. She tells him he is a crappy guy and says that she feels like an outsider. Todd takes offense at this remark and JR sums up by saying he thinks they are a good team in a good spot.

None of it matters, except that it looks like Courtney blows up over it next week, and Sherea goes home.

Here I am.
It's ten in the morning and I'm still full.


Anonymous said…
Well, I won't bother trying to explain it to you. That must have been SOME cake! Anyway, the only really important thing is that James is still there.
Badger said…
What Marian said.
Anonymous said…
Is Survivor still ON???!!!
Fred Claus...come on. Paul Giamatti as Santa, Vince Vaughn as the brother? I actually love the whole concept and can't wait. I think it might be funny like the Elf one.

Birthday cake. Neither of my children will eat cake OR chocolate. Made birthdays interesting. Giant carved watermelons anyone?
Anonymous said…
Amanda is the Montana girl - former beauty queen.

Makes me wish there were a woman more representative of our state, but she'll be ok, I hope.

I still haven't watched it, though.
RW said…
Sounds like it was a better show than last week; we have one TV and it was showing the baseball game... thanks for the update. Yeah for James.