Shall we recap?
It's the Underwear Edition.
Anorexics can't chop.
Leslie went home.
13 are left.

Far Long, Day 10.
Jean Robert's game plan is kicking in, we are told.
Courtney doesn't like him yelling at her. She's sick of him.

At John Who there is mold in the rice and a debate on how to deal with it.
Sherea and Dave clash.
While they argue I find myself thinking about how clean her bra is. It's holding up well too - I wonder what kind of bra it is.
Ooh, it's a big argument.
Frosti and Dave go swimming and Frosti warns him to stop going off on people.

There's mail (I refuse to call it 'tree mail') and both tribes are told to go to Tribal Council for a challenge for food.
Dave seems awfully excited.

At the challenge, teams of two tribe members are instructed to use giant chopsticks and carry small flaming balls with them. They deposit the flame balls into chutes, rolling them into woks which set off fireworks which light the sky.
It's harder than it looks. And the chopsticks start off relatively large and end up gigantic as the contest progresses.
Courtney sits out.
It's tedious to watch.
It hurts my back to watch.
Fay Long/the red team, win.
They kidnap Dave.
He seems very excited.
He receives the secret message.

The next day at Fay Long, James has found a lime but he's 'not cool with the hugging.'
Dave is prancing around. He tells us he is spying.
He opens his clue and is goofy excited.
Todd is wary of Dave and finds him annoying.
But Dave trusts Todd and gives him the clue. They make a pact to share clues in the future.
Todd now has like, a gajillion clues, but he obviously can't see that the immunity idol is CLEARLY PART OF THAT GATE THING AT THE FRONT OF CAMP.
I'll admit though, this last clue is confusing.

John Who seem very comfortable without Dave. They do miss the work he does.
Several of them step up and work around the camp, but not Sherea. She needs to rest, or keep her bra clean - it's hard to tell.
Erik is tired. We don't even know who Erik is.

The fishing boat arrives at Fay Long.
Their reward for winning the challenge is to fish with a local family and cook a meal with oil and spices.
Dave is now acting giddy.
What the hell kind of accent does Denise have? Holy Moly.
What a kick in the head THAT is.
Anyway - Bravo Jean Robert. Now I like you. A little.
Denise and Aaron go fishing with the local family who use birds to fish.
I know lots of people will be intrigued by this fishing-with-birds thing, but we weren't because we saw it a few weeks ago on No Reservations. It's still cool, but a little less so when Denise describes it as birds regurgitatin fish.
Denise learns how to use the fishing net and tells us about the 'delicatest thing.'
As the fisherman family leave camp we catch a shot of emaciated Courtney barely able to raise her arm to wave goodbye.

Time for a challenge!
The teams arrive through an elaborate bamboo tunnel. It must have taken weeks to build. Poor PA's.
Dressed in traditional Chinese armor, the players swing those balls on ropes and throw them to smash Ming vases.
Suddenly, Jean Robert is fluent in speaking in the third person as well!
Again with the stop-action shots.
Again with the Fay Long winning.

It's day 12 at John Who.
Dave feels weird to be back, he's got strange vibes, feels precarious.
Jaime thinks it's between Sherea, who is considered lazy, and Dave.
And Sherea knows exactly what's going on.
She tells her teammates that her 'body comes first' and that she saves her energy for the challenges.
Mom and K would vote for Dave.

At Tribal Council they debate the work ethic.
Dave says that leading the tribe has been a burden.
I notice that PG is wearing a clean, off white, tank top with sequins.
Isn't that tribal music kind of tired by now? Sort of stale?
It's between Dave and Sherea, but, in the end, Dave goes.

Mom: that Sherea will sink her own boat. The team got a taste of no Dave and liked it....


Badger said…
THAT'S where I saw the fishing birds. It was bugging me that I knew about them, but didn't know how I knew. Now I know. Or whatever.

Jean-Robert can speak all the Mandarin he wants, I still hate his ass.

SO GLAD Dave is gone. I wanted to kick him in the veneers.
robiewankenobie said…
i read about the birds as a kid, in PING. fascinating, i know. *ahem*

delicatest thing? cracked me the hell up. almost as the rest of her speech about lunch ladies that can't cook.

oh, and sherea? talking about how she was "stepping it up lately" at tribal? i agree. she's gone at the next vote.
KPB said…
I love No Reservations.
I don't think there's anything Anthony Bourdain could do that I wouldn't watch.
No really.
Anonymous said…
If Courtney doesn't get voted off soon, she's going to croke out there... first Survivor death.

And I thought JR was bullshitting about his "strategy" but now I think maybe he's actually smarter and less obnoxious than he was pretending to be at first. If he was pretending.
Wendy said…
As much as Jean Robert annoys me (and I wish he would hike up those shorts), I was awed by his recall of Mandarin. I barely caught some of what was said. He hasn't heard it for 25 years? Wow. This is why I'm forcing my children to learn a language now. It's too hard a trick for an old dog like me.
BOSSY said…
Bossy wanted to watch this season's Survivor so badly but she plum forgot and then her husband protested her desire to try to catch up...
Chris said…
Buh bye Dave, I won't miss you at all :).
Sarah Louise said…
you can't use exclamation points in labels either.
Unknown said…
I have to tell you that I have never had any desire to watch ANY season of Survivor, and used to barely skim your descriptions of last season.

But this season? I still have NO desire to watch it myself, but I am LOVING your reporting and analysis.

Saoirse said…
I thought I was the only one. The only one who did NOT watch Survivor, but I see by the above post that I'm no longer a lone wolf!

HOWEVER, I now at least feel a little less clueless thanks to the BB updates!
Annagrace said…
I too wish Survivor was as fascinating to me as your recaps.
Anonymous said…
I do watch it, but all the same, I enjoy your recaps more. I laughed aloud at "we don't even know who Erik IS" because, yeah, you're right. I did notice him this episode though, and for lack of anyone to like, decided he's my guy, for the moment. I can't remember a season with less likeable contestants. I hope someone shines sometime soon. I can barely look at Courtney, and Sherea can't leave soon enough for me.

~ej said…
i've stopped watching and just read your recaps. they are much better :-)
chicken said…
I agree with the masses, your updates are much better than the actual show is. However, we have a survivor tradition at our house...and I will keep it up, I suppose.
I *heart* JR...please, no one yell, I just do. And Sherea...I swear that bra is from Lane Bryant. The lace up version is one that I imagine she rethinks every time she watches the show...hindsight is 20/20...but I probably would have worn a more supportive one!!
Someone send Courtney a sandwich, please.