an open letter to my Volvo

Dear Volvo:

So.
Here we are.
At the end of the month I will be surrendering you.
And I don't plan on going home with any of your siblings, Volvo, you've sort of sabotaged that.

To be fair: you are my second Volvo and I was nothing but pleased with your predecessor.
Tiny and black, he kept us humming around town pretty well for three years.
But that hasn't been the case with you, has it?
In the shop for days and weeks at a time, you betrayed us every time something strange happened and one of those little lights lit.
You filled with water.
Your tires went flat.
Your computer system died. Twice.
Your electrical system failed. Twice.
There is an oddity within your transmission.
Your engine mounts were loose.
Your tie-rods recalled.
I've received 'campaign' letters about you half a dozen times.
I'm sure there's more - I can't remember it all. Remember the time your heat AND cooling system had to be replaced? Good times.

I remember how I chose you, Mr. XC 90, after months of research and test drives and thought.
You seemed to fill a niche perfectly.
I perceived you as European without being over the top, with some nice interior touches -
easy to drive and maneuver, safe and durable.
I had compared you to several other mid-size SUV's and was almost smug in my satisfaction with my choice.

I continued to live with hope, XC, right up until last fall, when I received the first letter asking if I'd like to terminate our relationship early.
Of course, the only way to terminate our relationship at that time without financial hardship would be to choose another Volvo.
And I just didn't feel like I could do that and feel good about us.
People don't realize that "lemoning out" a leased car is expensive and litigious. We both know I'm not that kind of person.

I looked at some wagons. The Audi is nice, as is the BMW. Neither of them have the cargo space of an XC70 though, and I have a child going to college in 18 months.
And though I love the guys at my dealership (shout outs to C and S and D who made my life much much easier whilst living with a lemon) I'm afraid I'm moving on.
Even though there's no way TWO Volvos would need $50,000 worth of warranteed repairs in their first two years I can't take the chance AND pay a steep car payment.

I am sorry to see you go but I'll be ordering a Jeep Liberty later today. I like the utilitarian styling it's got going on and we can drive it off road on the Cape.
My love for you, XC 90, moved quickly to disdain, and now I just have a little hollow place in my heart where you used to live.

Not that I grow emotionally attached to my vehicles or anything.
Just ask my Chevy Suburban, which I made K return to the dealership after three glorious years, because I kept crying.

The inspector was good. He only found $67 worth of excessive wear and tear on you. I didn't have the heart to tell him that your airbag sensor is broken, your transmission slips and you need an alignment. The dealer tells me that you will be shipped directly to an auction lot for quick re-sale.
I'm very tempted to hide a note somewhere in your interior, for your future owners, warning of all that has gone wrong with you.
You are the perfect example of why K and I can never buy a used car, and I wish you all the best.

All best,


bb


PS: I would have washed you more frequently, I'm not so uncaring, but every time you broke the dealership washed you for free.