Survivor finale

Sweet fancy moses, I'm exhausted.
Mom and I watched last week's episode at 5pm whilst K made the best fried chicken and mashed potatoes in the world.
It was a hell of an episode, that one from last week. That business with the truck and the promise and all.
Of course, like the rest of you, we were set up to be smacked in the head.
After our unbelievable dinner (the mashed potatoes had shallots in them) I tidied up a bit and we took our positions.
Dreamz had the truck, Yau had played the idol and Stacy was now on the jury.
Earl, Yau, Cassandra, Dreamz and Boo are the final five.

On night 36, Yau and Earl talk about the voting and what they will do next.
In the morning Yau tells us how important it is for him to win this next challenge.
Cassandra knows how tight Earl is with Yau and Earl lies to her about the other idol.

The first challenge is an enormous maze. And I easily guess that they will have to navigate it blindfolded, to individual key stations wherein they will unlock drawbridges and move ahead until they are eventually through five stations.
It could be hours, we tell ourselves.
And Yau wins - our delight is palpable.

Yau and Earl are now safe from the vote (as Earl has an idol).
Dreamz is nervous.
Boo pushes for Dreamz to be voted out to save himself (oh, the foreshadowing!).
and to entice Earl.
At this point, Earl begins to think about who he could beat in the final two (again! foreshadowing!).

By the time they go to tribal council, I'm a little worn out and confused.
Earl talks about how to vote.
Boo states his case for being saved.
Dreamz argues that he wouldn't want the sympathy vote, and tells us that he should be kept until the final four to help Yau.
All the negotiations come out in front of the fire -
and Earl plays the idol.
Boo is put on the jury.

Day 38 finds Yau very impressed at having made it this far.
Earl is very fond of him - friends for life and all...
Dreamz knows he must win the next challenge for Yau's sake -
and Yau says he had no idea how much the truck was worth (which I believe).

It's time for the "fallen comrades" portion of the series which is our cue to ridicule everything on the television. We are brutal and happy they've shortened this segment - though it always feels like it's hours long.

The last challenge is a killer.
And whenever I describe one of these torturous contests I begin to wonder...
The players hang on a slant board, on their backs, with water trickling beneath them while the board is slowly ratcheted to 50 degrees.
Cassandra is first out.
Earl falls next.
And Yau and Dreamz struggle, nobly, to hang on.
But we know that Dreamz will win FOR Yau, and Yau knows this too and cannot hold on any longer.
Dreamz winz.
But he's looking at Yau the whole time - and so the speculation as to whether he will hold his word and give immunity to Yau, in exchange for the truck, begins.

Jeff tells us the the final will come down to three...a new twist - and I start yelling at the television.
What will Dreamz do?
He looks upset and confused, and warns the tribe that he may not live up to his word.

At tribal the conversation turns to integrity and honor and everyone talks about what Dreamz should do.
The tension is horrible.
Dreamz keeps immunity.
They vote Yau out.
We are angry and upset.
It's your last night in Fiji says Jeff, enjoy it!

At camp, Dreamz tries, desperately, to cover his ass.
He tells us he has no regrets.
Breakfast is dropped by air and I am grumbling about why Cassandra is still around, smirking and talking about her underwear.

Dreams feels like he's standing next to Oprah...sadly, I don't think he'll get that chance.
Earl tells us this has been the experience of a lifetime.
The final walk to tribal is mighty, with a lot of wide shots and grand music.

Each player states his case:
Earl played a clean game. (kinda sorta)
Cassandra has been a friend to all. (I'm gagging)
Dreamz goes and plays the sympathy card. (stoopid)

The jury members grill the players.
Dreamz gets nailed.
Alex is pissed as hell.
Dreamz argues that it is a GAME.
Lisi is embarrassing.
Yau forgives Dreamz but asks if the whole truck deal was premeditated, if Dreamz changed his mind or never thought for a minute that he'd be true to his word and we don't get a clear answer (I don't think Dreamz is smart enough to rig the whole thing.).
Earl tells Yau that he couldn't take him to the final because he would have lost.
The honesty of that statement is so complicated.
The jury votes.
We move to New York where everyone looks plump and pretty.
Jeff tallies the votes and Earl wins in a sweep...

Earl who told us he was in control from very early on, Earl who did play a pretty honest game, Earl who sacrificed Yau in the last moments. And while I may not be happy that it wasn't Yau, I'm damn glad it wasn't Dreamz or Cassandra - at least, on some level, Earl deserved it.
On many levels, actually.
The good guy doesn't always win on this show, but of the final three this time, the good guy won.

The reunion show is the time when we go to bed, reflect on what happened, listen to the schmooze and make peace with the events of the season.
It's a great show - a thrill ride for my gang.
I'll miss it.


Badger said…
I'm glad Earl won.

Dreamz still suckz.

Alex and Lisi are the biggest assholes in the history of EVER.

I am SO EXCITED about the China season. I can't even tell you how much.
Anonymous said…
Did a search on Google's Blog Search and found you by typing "Survivor".

Okay, how crazy is it that DreamZ couldn't see further into the future than right in front of his face.

And I think it was funny seeing Lisi try to be tough like Alex, only to look like a complete idiot.