timing

K left his corporate job on Tuesday.
There had been a merger - but it was mostly political. And K doesn't do politics.
He didn't love where he was, that is some small consolation.
We never completely let ourselves bask in the bi-weekly paychecks.
We tried never to take them for granted.
I don't think I'm rationalizing when I say that I was sometimes sad to see him trudge off knowing that it wasn't the best situation.
Well paid, but not the best situation.
I felt like someone took a baseball bat to my knees.
I wanted everyone to know how wonderful and smart and accomplished he is and knowing that there are people somewhere who did not want him made me angry.

After he called and told me, after I called my mom and his mom and emailed my brothers, I sat with a glass of wine and watched his office IM icon.
He was wiping his hard drives of personal information - bank accounts, phone numbers, emails from me, canceling his corporate credit card, tying up loose ends.
I IM'd him from time to time to see how he was doing, to beg him to come home so that we could just be together.
Soon, he'd say -
I just have a little more to do, he'd type.
I sat and watched and waited, wanting him to be here with us, with people who know how accomplished and wonderful he is.
It was only a couple of hours -
but it seemed like forever.
And then, while I was counting the seconds, I heard it -
that whoosh sound that you hear when someone goes offline.
And, with that, that time of mixed blessing, the corporate job, the title, the benefit package, the security, it was all gone.

We sat in stunned silence when he got home.
And, in the morning, he spoke to G who he worked with for years before he took this job.
G said: how quickly can you get here?
And greeted him with open arms and put him right to work.

Last night I went to meet K at the Christmas party.
I didn't see him at first so I went to see G. I wanted to give him a kiss and thank him for appreciating my husband.
But as I crossed the room Ave Maria began to waft through the room -
and before I could say anything G was hugging me and telling me how truly happy he was to see me.
All I could do was try not to cry and thank him.
I went and found K and sat with him while people came over to say how happy they were that he was there.

I think we're going to be okay.
I think it's a strange and wonderful thing.