a list from Youngest

- which, while pertaining to one particular day, may, in fact, be useful information at other times:

Things Lame People Give Out At Halloween

1.Pretzels - not even a candy, the bat shaped ones might be okay

2.Raisins - not even a snack food

3.Junior Mints - too much mint! not enough chocolate

4.The WannaBe Candys - fake-Skittles, not-really-Starbursts

5.Anything Banana Flavored - one lady treated me like royalty and gave me the last banana flavored Now And Laters ON EARTH, they tasted disgusting.

6.Whoppers - you almost never get fresh Whoppers, and, you know, inside old Whoppers THERE IS NOTHING.

Comments

Sarah said…
A fine critique.

And when did you add the "Save The Cheerleader..."?

And what makes The Cheerleader so dang special? I like the little Japanese man much better.
3:36 PM
Anonymous said…
I agree except for the junior mints...he can send those my way.
3:59 PM
Anonymous said…
Halloween night, one of the last group of kids contained a high school girl we know slightly, with a friend of hers from school. We dropped in a box of raisins (Yes! We are THOSE people!) and she said, "EWWW! Raisins!!"

"Wait, come back," I said, "you get TWO boxes," and I dropped the second box in her bag.

"WHY?" she wailed, as she stomped away.

Heh.
4:30 PM
Anonymous said…
Raisins -- are so! Junior mints and whoppers, yum, my faves. I've never had an old, hollow whopper though, which might change my mind on that score. And yeah, junior mints are I think an acquired taste, like single malt scotch. Give him 10 years or so.

Does youngest read your blog?
4:58 PM
Suse said…
Hmmm, how did I miss all these posts? Your wine post has been up for days, and then suddenly I refresh and bingo, more stuff!

(Riveting opening para, Suse ...)

What I was going to say was that over here, whoppers are another thing ENTIRELY. Y'know.
5:36 PM
Elan Morgan said…
I love those banana flavoured marshmallowy candies. You can send those my way.
6:04 PM
Caterina said…
I agree. with all.
6:24 PM
sara said…
There are cheapskates out there who give PRETZELS?

(said the woman who, in a state of candy-depleted panic, considering throwing small change at the costumed waifs)
6:31 PM
Anonymous said…
Of course it's a matter of taste( and dental work) but I would include several other items on the lame candy list.

lemon or vanilla flavored tootsie rolls

dum dums (kinda cheap, dontcha think?)

ANY Now and Laters, regardless of flavor

Those black and orange wax-paper-wrapped individual taffy things

Mounds and Almond Joy (coconut, ewwww)

MY FAVORITE CANDIES TO GET ARE:

Milk Duds (dental work nonwithstanding)
Smarties
Sweetarts (bite 'em for a BURST of flavor)
snickers
goobers
raisinettes
mentos
8:20 PM
Anonymous said…
What about those black and orange candies. The ones that taste like muddy licorice.

Yuck
8:23 PM
Jennifer said…
Couldn't agree with him more!
8:44 PM
Badger said…
My parents gave out pretzels this year! Not to MY kids. But to, you know, all those other kids.

My kids' least favorite are those peanut butter taffy things. They will devour pretty much everything else.
10:11 PM
Anonymous said…
ew - junior mints! blech.

I say up with raisinettes!
1:50 AM
Angela said…
When I was a kid, the neighbor up the street worked at a potato chip factory. (I'm not making this up.) For Halloween, he gave out monster sized bags of chips from The Reject Pile. The bags were sometimes ripped, the labels were sort of melted off the sides, the chips weren't always in great shape... It sucked. And because he was such a nice guy, we felt the need to be all, "Oh! Potato chips! How wonderful! We love them. All hail Jesus! Thank you, Mr. Fuller!" It sucked.

And, nothing is more disappointing than an old hollow Whopper. Seriously. NOTHING.
8:34 AM
Tongue in Cheek Antiques said…
Yeah!! That is a darn good bad list, my son would add walnuts.
5:49 PM
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