JP's tribe 'blindsided' him and voted him, possibly their strongest member, out.
16 survivors are left and most of them are brushing their teeth with sticks as the show opens.
The remaining men at JP's tribe are hustling to prove their worth to the women...
they are getting firewood and fishing and not wearing shirts.

Middle thinks they should cast Survivor like they do Wife Swap (not that we've seen Wife Swap) in the most provocative way possible - something like Satan Worshippers vs. Episcopalians.
He also decided, during a car commercial, that we should start referring to SUV's as SOOVS, conversationally...(he's got a head on him, eh?)

Back at camp, the women are doing an armpit check - and, indeed, there are some hairy ones.
Of course this calls all sorts of things to mind, but I will refrain. Maybe. Is anyone wearing a bikini bottom?
Cao Boi is annoyed. His zen is totally harshed by these lazy women.

At the first challenge, team members are tethered together tightly, strung up and then weights are added to the ropes. And THEN they are asked about their religions (kidding! how funny am I at 8:08 am?).
Imagine if their arms just get torn right off!? I said, a little to animatedly, to Middle.
Nate and Adam win, and deservedly so - I couldn't even keep track of who was doing what to whom but I did see that Nate and Adam were having to hold each other very tight and snuggly to get this challenge won...could make for some interesting photos on google.
So, it's a win for Raro and they get wine, and some other stuff, but I only remember the wine.

At iTunes, one of the boys catches a sticky sticky octopus which slurps on to his leg. ACK.
They hack it up and Cristina With No H loses some of it in the ocean whilst cleaning it.
But she blames Becky which leads everyone to agree that Cristina is just a domineering bitch.
Cao, Flickr, and Oz(z)y decide to go on an expedition.
Alliances are discussed and the explorers find themselves at the Raro camp.

Now, right about here is where my mom served the PIE.
Yes, in yesterday's Apple Adventure, I made yet another PIE.
This one was Martha's Deepest Dish PIE with her Pate Bris, so now you can ALL shut up.
It had cognac (I was out of Calvados) and cream and the apples were precooked and the crust was magnificent and had no lard, only butter. And I made it in the Cuisinart, so SHUT UP AGAIN.
So, I missed some stuff, but I do know that
Cao Boi talked everyone's ear off about Asian mysticism and symbolism and metabolisms.
They were yawning.

But then. There was an extraordinarily good challenge. A water/building/climbing endurance challenge that I really can't describe. Suffice to say that it ended with the teams having to balance on the head of a pin, A PIN I TELL YOU, in the middle of the water. It was long, it was torturous, and it gave me a huge pain in my ass just watching it.
But I loved it.
And the PIE.

Of course iTunes loses. (right? I'm not getting the teams right, am I?)
And they say they are voting off Cristina, because she's all bossy on their asses.
But then Stephannie mentions that she sure would love to go home and have some mashed potatoes...and that sticks in Nates craw, and that, my friends, is her undoing.
What IS she thinking about mashed potatoes for?
She is going to have to have much bigger boobs if she's gonna complain about wanting home cooking this early in the game - I know from watching all these seasons that you hafta have some really big boobs to start whinging about food without people thinking you should leave.

So they go to tribal-
and in a 'Big Batch of Brutal Honesty' (doesn't that Jeff have a way with words?) they tell Cristina she is a domineering bitch, but they vote off Stephannie, who leaves and tells the camera she was hoping to stay just a little longer -
NOT, I was going till the end! to win!
so, good riddance to her, I say.

K and I gave Joan Cusack a second try after that -
and, look, she seems like a nice kid, really, but that show is JUST AWFUL.
Between the facial contortions and her reading the script (K was gouging out his ears with a fork) and her speaking to people like they are brain-damaged deaf people rather than Europeans is just too much for us.
Poor Joan.
Her mother was cuter than she (her?) and we could see why they brought her along.
But, what do we know?
The show will probably run for six seasons and win awards.



Badger said…
I would have gone with Satan Worshippers vs. Southern Baptists. But Middle's idea is good, too.

Nate and Adam clutching each other? I ... think I had a dream like that once.

I am VERY disappointed in Stephannenniee.

And you just reminded me that I totally TiFauxed the Joan show and need to watch it. Maybe I should wait until this evening, when I'm having a cocktail? Will that help at all, do you think?
Amy A. said…
I missed it last night, so loved the run down. I'm not sad to see Stephannie go, either.

Your apple pie sounds delightful.
Anonymous said…
First, let me just say that after my 20K worth of edumacation, I too make my pate brisee in the food processor. PULSE, people, PULSE is the key, never ON.
Also a good 1 hour rest in the fridge. A rest that relaxes te gluten and more importantly hydrates the flour.

Second; One should NEVER be out of calvados. Especially in the fall. Pork chops? Calvados cream sauce? OMG.

Third: Dad calls 'em Sport Yutes. Just sayin'.
BabelBabe said…
yutes? Yutes? (I am tryiing to channel Joe Pesci here...)

I haven't made pie crust/pastry by hand since the first time i used the processor. it's like a pie crust miracle.

yum, cream and cognac...

joan narrates this cartoon on TLC that my kids like, and it always makes me happy to hear her voice, but am also glad don't have to LOOK at her.
Joke said…
What's with the margins? Is it just me?

Anonymous said…
We call 'em Sport Utes around here. As they are all driven by perky women. The menfolk? They want HUMMERS or Toyota Big Hulky Things (I forget the names) or HUGE gotta-haul-the-entire-football-team commando vehicles. With Thule covered canoe thingys on top! To carry their snacks, I am assuming...

Glad you have used 22 pounds of those apples. HEY! Couldn't you MAKE Calvados with the remaining 23 pounds?! I'm sure the French would share their recipe...
Anonymous said…
Again, with the apple pie. It's just cruel how you taunt us...
Anonymous said…
bless you BLESS YOU! I had to miss survivor last night to go to a stupid party and even though we set the VCR to record, it DINT. so i was desperate, you know.
Bec said…
I still don't watch survivor. But I am now much more interested in what I am not watching than ever before. for this, I thank you!

And yes, Joke, I'm getting the weird margins at Tuvalu too. BB, when we open your page the left margin is hard up against the side of the screen, then seems to fix itself later (same for you, Joke?)

A statement against the hard Right?
Suse said…
Ah'm havin' margin troubles too.

An' ah have no idee-uh why ah am talkin' like Badger this mornin. Perhaps ah need some cahfee.
Anonymous said…
I don't watch Survivor, but I'm sure your recap is just perfect. The only thing that would make your blog better would be some pet pictures.
christa said…
i googled for a cuddly nate/adam photo, but couldn't find anything. :( that was such a tender, beefy moment...
juliloquy said…
I was traveling for work and happened to catch this, my first episode of Survivor EVER! My main burning question was: How is it the women's armpit hair is growing yet the men's chests look as if they've been scraped clean with a spatula?
--erica said…
I forgot to read the recap until today!! ..

Oh. and we only mentioned the pate brise in the foodprocessor because we loved you. If we hated you, we'd just let you make it any old way!