somehow it took four hours to make a pie

Middle and I decided to make an apple pie. Mostly because we have about 45 pounds of apples.


I put him in charge of the apples and I got the stuff together for the dough.
Half an apple into peeling, he pointed out that his tendonitis was bothering him and I took over.
He sliced.
We decided to make a version from Joy Of Cooking in which the apples get cooked in a pan with some butter and sugar - it's supposed to keep the pie from falling in on itself when you bake it and make the filling thicker. Of course we added the sugar first and weren't supposed to - but I think it worked out okay.

cook them FIRST

You COOK them first.

I was showing him how to cut butter into flour and sugar

cutting in

for pate brise when I realized that we needed a 1/4 cup of Crisco.



Then we cooled them - as instructed.

cooling apples

Anyway, I told Middle that we needed Crisco and ordered him to crawl into the pantry and find the familiar blue can.
But when he retrieved it we couldn't tell how old it was - and there was only a code of numbers on the bottom of the can.


It had a greenish tinge, but, I don't know, I don't use Crisco more than once or twice a year...
There was a scent too. An odor, actually, but I still wasn't sure.
Go see if D's car is in the driveway across the street, I told him after I had incorporated the Crisco into the dough...
Why? he asked incredulously, you can't extract the possibly bad Crisco...
I know, but I thought I'd ask to smell hers
, I said, laughing so hard that I was crying.
Oh. So. You're gonna walk across the street and ask if she has Crisco, and when she says yes, how much would you like, you're gonna say YOU JUST WANT TO SMELL IT?

can I smell your crisco?

And, yes, that was my plan.
But instead, I called the number on the can

calling crisco

and read them the code and they told me that the Crisco was just over four years old and that I should dispose of it immediately.

See? Bad Crisco is greenish and good Crisco is blindingly white.

good vs bad

We went and bought some ready made pie crust, because it also turned out that our dough would have to rest in the fridge for four to six hours before we could roll it out. And that wasn't in our plan.

And Middle

the his ASS

did some fancy work...


And it all came out right in the end.



Tasty too.

Of course the kitchen was left an absolute DISASTER.


Just wait till I tell you about the candy apples.


Anonymous said…
I loved that. You can't beat those old Joy of Cooking recipes. And the green Crisco! Very funny.
celestial opus said…
Well, I always have a can of budweiser by me while baking apple pie too. Nice to see it didn't impair the quest to figure out the green crisco!

The bits of hair we can see looks cute with the smarty pants looking glasses!
Amy A. said…
Anonymous said…
I see the whole ordeal progressed from a nice green tea to a can of Bud.

Love the Bite Me pie. And love that sink, too, even with a four-car pile-up of dishes in it.
Anonymous said…
I know you don't want to hear it... but I'm going to say it anyway...
--erica said…
..pate brisee with butter, made in a food processor! I'll never go back to crisco! :)
Anonymous said…
It looks like the cooking of the apples worked - would you do that part again? (I've totally done that with the Crisco - never ignore the smell!)
blackbird said…
I would, anon, the pie was very nice with the apples pre-cooked!

I had tasted the bad dough, kathyr - hence the Bud.
BabelBabe said…
one again, I think Middle is awesome. I love his message pie.

candy apples? the ones with the crunchy red coating? wow, what a nostalgia trip!
Anonymous said…
How do you serve your apple pie?

A la mode?

I swear to god, I can smell that pie from here...

And I'm hungry.
Badger said…
Hey! I could give you a whole palm reading just from that one picture up there. Except you're a leftie, right? And that's your right palm. So it wouldn't be super accurate. But still.

Oh, and the pie looks good too.
Anonymous said…
Can you please explain exactly what crisco is? I'm with you on the smelling thing I am always ringing a friend ans she does the same in return on questions like that. By the way the pie looks absolutely delicious.
Anonymous said…
Apple pie = USA
It's something I LOVE, but I NEVER use Crisco (well, ehm, we don't have it here) just butter in my Pasta brisée. My Noodle also helps me baking, except he only requests chocolate baked goods...adn I wish he turns out as Middle. I do.
Lauri said…
Hm...I don't think I've ever started making anything where something that was supposed to go in it didn't smell funny.

I don't cook a whole lot.
Caterina said…
I was going to comment on the Budweiser, but I see you already explained it.

Yum! Yum! I would like a piece with vanilla ice cream please :)
Anonymous said…
i love the can of bud in the background! and also LOVE that sink of yours. gorgeous!
Anonymous said…
Best post about making apple pie on the internet all day. And I would nominate it for "all fall" as well. We'll have to see; there could be some lurkers out there who haven't posted their pie-making adventures yet. But I really don't think they can compete with Middle crawling into the pantry for what would turn out to be four-year-old Crisco.
Anonymous said…
I always learn so much from the comments! I missed the can of Bud until then. So...she s&t making a pie this week? cuz I missed last week...

I love Middle's commentary on the pie. He reminds me of my brother.
Anonymous said…
I adore that apron

and now I'm off to Google what the heck Crisco is ...

Anonymous said…
Suse and her googling of cooking do they cook down under without Crisco?
Paula said…
That reminds me, I have to bake a pie on for Friday.

I'm with Erica on the butter only in the pate brisee.

Your Joy of Cooking is all white and pristine. Mine is sad, sad, sad.

Cute pie!
Eliane said…
Very nice kitchen though. I want mine to look like that when I grow up.
Priscilla said…
You've got my bowls! I have the green bowl and the larger yellow bowl and the smaller red bowl and the smaller yet blue bowl. I love these! I learned to cook with them and my dear mother gave them to me one year for Christmas.
woof nanny said…
thank you for that.
I will have to make a 'bite me' pie.

I make my pies with 5 different kinds of apples, red and green. Lots of cinnamon.
woof nanny said…
Also, I just had to smell my Crisco recently too. And throw it away. That is some RANK smell, I tell you. I am buying new Crisco every year from now on.
Anonymous said…
I just used some old Crisco to bake peanut butter cookies with and they smelled like burnt plastic and tasted like lighter fluid. Strange! I figured my Crisco to be around 3 years old! Glad I am not alone... :)