The New York Times Style Magazine has arrived

...and I feel compelled to discuss some things. Page by page.
Pull up a chair.

Okay. First.
I'm tired of Kate Moss.
I'm tired of Kate Moss addicted. I'm bored with her clean.
I can't look at her vapid eyes.

Next, we are only 20 pages in and it is announced that grunge is back - 'with a vengeance.'
And so I'm wondering, they are talking about people under 21, right?
Because I'm not sure, and I don't think teenagers are reading this magazine.

There is something I can relate to - just a couple of pages over.
It seems that Tom Ford has produced (I suppose his people produced) a fragrance that I'd love to check out. Apparently he had them develop the darkest black orchid possible and added the scent of truffle, lotus wood, bergamot and vanilla for "a throwback to an old-fashioned fragrance." Which sounds astoundingly expensive, but I'm going to try to find it -
just so I can smell it.

Nora Ephron has a new book out. And she was on Oprah a couple of weeks ago, looking slightly pulled facially. I'll get the book from the library, but in the meantime, she's put together a fabulous list for women of a certain age:

Goodbye sleeveless.
Goodbye cleavage.
Goodbye short.
Goodbye midriff.
Goodbye low-rise.
Goodbye waist.
Goodbye tight.
Goodbye sheer.
Goodbye white T-shirts.
Goodbye yellow.
Goodbye blue.
Goodbye red.
Goodbye prints.

I could not agree more and I'm not nearly Nora's age. And I would hasten to add a couple:

So long baby doll.
See you later velour track suit.
Ciao flip flops.

I could go on and on - but I'll cut it short.
There is plenty more to address...

In the TMI category, I will mention that I had a deodorant crisis this past summer.
I had been using a natural product as I shave my underarms every day and am loathe to add carcinogens to my fresh open pores. But I found myself, on a regular basis, with, uh, problems.
And I am disappointed to be presently using Arid Extra Dry, which is cutting days off my life every time I twist more gel up out of the applicator. But the Times tells me that Lavilin can be applied once a week, because it is so effective, and it is all natural. I'm going to see if Whole Foods has it.

At the other end of the spectrum -
this product scares the crappe out of me.
I just feel like it must induce an allergic reaction.
All I can imagine is itching. Itching lips.
As the pages are only an advertisement, there is no review of the product.

So, let's jump to page 32 - which is the land of $15 to $20 bars of soap.
They look great in the pictures! So pretty!
I think I'm going to cut up the page and tape them into my soap dishes.

There's a great article on healthy and beauty products and hair salons in Chinatown.
I used to go to an Asian hair salon when I lived in the city - I had forgotten about it, but I got great haircuts there.

They still haven't found a pill for cellulite.
Not to worry though -
The Times is all over it, and has been reporting on it for years.
I'm waiting.

And who is on page 45? WHO? Why Sally Hershberger - and she's all bershon.
There, now I've used a new word.

I do appreciate the giant list of hair professionals and their fees for the professional services they have come to be known for. In the old days I would tear it out and save it. Now I can just go to the Times archives.

Finally, Love Among The Ruins features gorgeous photos of damaged goods...and, after looking at all those beautiful women, gazing upon these 'ruined faces' is a welcomed relief.
Click on the slide show and just try to keep breathing.

Exclusive by Getty Images

Carlo Allegri/Getty Images

Justin Stephens/Corbis Outline



Anonymous said…
I don't know if you get the programme 'Who do you think you are'

But the Jeremy Irons one was on last week and I think I love him even more now!
Anonymous said…
I finally had time to read it last night. I tore out the soap photos for a collage! And what's with the beef about no red, blue, or yellow, or prints on women of a certain age? What about Nancy Reagan and her red suits? I will not give up color because I am, uh, of a certain age, whatever that is.

I will, however, gladly forgo ever showing my toes in public and my arms, well, even my husband doesn't get to see those.

Thanks for the review - I was too tired to do it and I knew you would!
Badger said…
Um. Well. I have reviewed that product. And I love it.

And I am wearing a white t-shirt TODAY.

But then you and Nora Ephron are both older than me. So neener, neener!
lazy cow said…
So much to comment on, where to start?
I LOVE Nora Ephron. I love "Heartburn" the book, and "When Harry met Sally". I want to hang out with her and Meg and Carrie. It would be such fun.
But, I don't agree with no cleavage. I've just discovered mine and baby, I'm going to flaunt it for as long as possible.
Robert Downey Jnr is my favourite of the ruined men. I tried watching House - because you love it so much - but I just don't see HL's appeal. Sorry.
You *must* report on that deodorant. I have the same problem you do, and I'm compromising by going full-on hello early alzheimer home aluminium (Avon ON-duty 24 hr) one week a month. That week really needs it.
Joke said…
Wow. Weird to see Bertie Wooster looking all biker-ish.

celestial opus said…
Thank you for admitting that. I completely agree with you on Kate Moss. It's SO over.

Does Sam Elliott look like Einstein to anyone else?
Anonymous said…
First, you blacklist fleece--which hurt me reeeal bad. Now? Flip flops? What am I to do--walk around nekid?
In your honor, I shall don my fleece AND my flip flops today.

Paula said…
Hey my cleavage is one of the few body parts I don't have a beef with. I'm with Lazy Cow on that one.

I'm going to try the Lavilin though, thanks for the info.
Unknown said…
Jeremy Irons is, and will always be, my absolute biggest actor crush of all times. The voice, the lithe body, the tortured hands, the face, oh the face. He is gorgeous. He is the sexiest man alive. Hugh Laurie...he's WAY up there too.

As a "woman of a certain age" (54) I find most of these men compellingly HOT. I mean, Nick Nolte I can skip. He's a trainwreck. But Ed Harris. YUM. Kris Kristoferson. Double Yum.
You can take Justin Timberlake anytime. Give me a man with some wrinkles and some attitude. That's what I'm loving.

Ok, on to other things. Kate Moss is supposidly pregnant. Do you think that child will arrive with two heads? Scary, huh.

I've tried many non-antiperspirants (isn't that an oxymoron?) and frankly, none of them work. But I'm hoping for a good report of Lavilin.

My daughter got a bunch of lip plumpers in some freebie, and I tried one once. ONCE. They don't itch, they HURT. I mean it, painful. They sort of burn and feel very very weird. Plus, my lips did feel plumper, but it wasn't a pleasant effect, if you know what I mean.
tut-tut said…
Berson? Not in my Webster's 11th.
Anonymous said…
Did you read Nora Ephron's piece in the NYT magazine, or maybe the Sunday Styles, recently? About necks. Same vein of thought.

I'd like to know how that Lavilin works - will you do a full report for us?

I'd also like to see WOMEN'S faces among the "ruined."
Jess said…
First there was Jeremy Irons, who is interesting, but then........ahh, Hugh Laurie

there's a corny line here about making the house lights go down but I won't do it...
Anonymous said…
Oh man that picture of Hugh Laurie is going to have me all kinds of distracted today.
Anonymous said…
Loving Tom Waits, and flip flops and my new knickers from old navy!

So there.
Anonymous said…
Dude. I can call you dude, can't I? You have NO idea how painful that lip stuff is. I have a friend who is a doc, she pulled some out at dinner one night and made me try it--my lips felt like they were on FIRE. FIRE, I tell you. Now, it does work--I had the bee stung look. But I also had the bee stung feel.

Hugh Laurie also would love me if he knew me. I just know he would.
Glenna said…
I'm approaching my crone-hood, and I so agree with the no-nekkid toes thing. Is there anything more unappetizing than the bony, claw-like toes of a woman of a certain age, all yellowed thickened toenails and splayed-ness, cracked heels headed north to the ankles, crammed into too-small teetery sandals? At least late middle age and declining aterial health with its loss of circulation kills off those patches of toe-knuckle hair.
Anonymous said…
I was going to say something intelligent but I'm morbidly struck by Glenna's comment now and have certain images that won't leave my head.

Oh, I remember. I was going to ask why white t-shirts, and the colour blue are OUT?

Also, thank you for Jeremy and Hugh.

- Suse, fighting with Blogger sign-in page.
BabelBabe said…
very sorry but I REFUSE to give up my white t-shirts.

I look forward to wearing them again, and keeping them clean,when my children are in their twenties.

Also I never gave up the grunge lookk, as nothing fitted fits me now anyway. sigh.

damn children...they ruined my figure and my boobs. they better grow up to be rockstars, so they can pay for my boob job and tummy tuck.
KPB said…
O.h. m.y.
Eliane said…
Nick Nolte and Keith Richards look like pure necrophilia. And Blackbird, your site is slow!
Anonymous said…
I can't believe I'm supposed to give up my flip flops and low-rise pants and sleeveless shirts one day! But then, when do I ever do what I'm supposed to? ;)
My float said…
Ooof to Hugh Laurie. Wow. How am I supposed to work with that photo burnt into my brain?

Grunge is back? Really? To see some kids around this place, you'd think it had never left! What are kids coming to these days? (Hey, someone had to say it!)
Aren't these men good looking? SHow me some older women too, come on!
As usual you make me smile!
kilowatthour said…
i think white t-shirts should be out for women of a certain bust. age + gravity may preclude the white t-shirt for some, but those of a boobless nature are welcome to keep wearing theirs.

also? what age are we talking about here? because my mother looks fabulous in red.
kilowatthour said…
also: hugh laurie... hot. can't. breathe.