open house

K arrived home at a reasonable time (very unusual these days), I put together a yummy pot of pasta with tomatoes, basil, garlic and oil, and we hopped on the scooter.
(I am really really loving riding on the back of his scooter - and at night it is especially thrilling.)
Off we went to the high school.
Blue schedule sheet in hand, we were off to visit Middle's day.

We cut gym. (there is NOTHING I want to know about high school gym)

Our first class was math. Math is in the new wing of the school. Completed after years of planning, huge controversy all around town and nearly two years of construction, walking through the new wing is surreal. Actually, it's very real - it's just that we felt like we were on the set of 2001 A Space Odyssey or The Andromeda Strain. Even the desks and chairs were sort of odd and other-worldly. The math teacher seemed nice enough. She had just had a baby and looked slim and trim and professional. Something about the room though...her voice was swallowed up. I wondered how Middle stays focused.

But there is no time to contemplate this as the class periods only last ten minutes and it takes that long to figure out where you are supposed to go next...
A tiny class (17) with students that Middle has known for years. And Middle is right - the highlight of the class (Earth Science) is the daily fact that the teacher gives them. That days fact was that the price of copper has gotten so high that burglars are breaking into people's homes and stealing the copper pipes right out of their basements.
Oh, the other highlight of Science was that the teacher's pants were undone and the dad in front of me told her after she finished her ten minute speech.

Seconds later we were rushing off to Global 2.
Pat Sajak was in attendance, with a huge shiner. I wondered if Middle even noticed it as he never said anything about it.
He's quite a character, though he had left his green jacket home, and mentioned his own high school-age son several times. He told us that the actual teacher of the class will be returning soon and was generally useless answering any questions about the curriculum.
Apparently the class is 'large' and 'very diverse.' A classroom aid took over at one point to give us more solid information regarding exams and homework.
I sat in between a very polished Japanese lady in an incredible organdy starched dress and a woman with whom I've been acquainted since Middle was in first grade who was wearing her early 90's business suit with a matching red Mark Cross handbag.

Art class was upstairs, around the corner and down the hall.
Remember what Middle said? About the teacher being a psycho?
Well, goodgodinheaven -
I hope NO ONE pisses that teacher off.
Elegantly tall, perfectly coiffed and smartly dressed, the art teacher has been working out.
Her biceps rippled as she pointed out the key projects that the students will be doing.
She has a very firm grasp on her students (ie.: art class is not the place to fool around) and has already taught them to save even the tiniest bits of leftover paint.
Fortunately for Middle, the use of iPods is encouraged 'for inspiration' and he has always been a cooperative child...but I do pity the children who are not cooperative as this teacher will come down on them like an anvil.

We had a free period next.
So we loitered in the halls and made trouble with other parents -
because that's what you do in high school.

Band was next.
In the auditorium.
The auditorium where one audio speaker is broken leaving it to emit a loud high-pitched shriek. This noise threatened to make us catatonic.
Our maestro gave us his yearly speech, reminded us to send the check for marching shoes and told us about an ajudicating performance trip to a faraway state that he'd like to take with the band (200 kids?).
I was less impressed with all of that than I usually am at his concerts.

English class was cancelled - as it has been on several days for Middle.
The teacher is very ill and it would appear that though the school district is struggling to replace her, they have not yet done so. This is all unfortunate, and I felt sorry for the office ladies as many parents tramped off to see the principal about the injustice of the situation.

Finally - the real reason (I think) K was willing to attend...
Digital Video Editing, Part 1.
Middle is loving this class and has brought K's very professional camera to shoot footage for class projects.
But he hasn't said a word about what his dad does for a living.
And I don't think he's mentioned that we have a full editing suite in our home...or that he has professional sound recording equipment of his very own.
As we were leaving the house Middle sort of casually mentioned to K that the teacher doesn't know any of these things - and K accused him of being a ringer.
It was a crazy crowded room, packed with Macs.
On the board were the words

and I thought I detected a teeny smirk on K's face.
The teacher was an earnest young fellow in an ill fitting suit jacket.
He told us that he had taught art class and a couple of other classes and that he had worked at a network. (Cruelly, I told K that he was only old enough to have been an intern.)
We learned about the kind of projects that Middle would be involved with and the terms that they would learn relating to the field of video editing.
And K did ask a question...
and we did stop and introduce ourselves as we were leaving...
but we didn't blow Middle's cover.

And so, we made our way through the halls, and got on the scooter and rode through the crowds to go home.

Upon our arrival, I noted that the house seemed very dark...
and I distinctly heard Green Onions playing somewhere in the vicinity of the dining room.
What awaited us was better left to photographs:

Dim lighting
funky music
Middle and Youngest

the dealer





The tableau spread before me.
And I stood on a chair.
Drinks - Italian orange soda
Salt - it looked to be the Welsh sea salt
The Home Weather Station - wtf?

They had been at it a while.
Middle had a cap pistol.


Youngest still had some taffy, but between his eating and his gambling, it didn't look good.


Joke said…
I see that whole poker thing has infested the younger generation as far as Tuvalu.

Anonymous said…
Well, at least you know they'll be able to support themselves when they leave home.
Suse said…
I spy the spoon. Out of your pocket and into a salt bowl. I'm glad.
Anonymous said…
Its moments like that when ones kids just make you feel all warm inside and want to laugh. I had a few of those this weekend too....
Badger said…
I am taking the fact that they played for taffy as a personal shout-out to ME.
jenny said…
taffy? my kind of stakes.

would like to see the look on the teacher's face when middle presents his first project.
Anonymous said…
I feel for the science teacher and her XYZ moment in front of the parents. I've been there. It's not pretty.

Your kids are hilarious...
Jennifer said…
Mmmm I see they also had cashews my favourite :)

School sounds like school. I hated school.
weirdbunny said…
I don't think my kids have heard of poker yet, but they love playing cards for chips.
MsCellania said…
Well, I dunno if I should be setting boundaries at your house; but I would say, DEFINITELY,
The Welsh salt is Off Limits for wagering.
In fact, make that ALL salt.
No gambling of any condiments, in fact.
The weather station? Fair game.
And I'm smellin' an A for the editing class. We had a senior in our Ancient History class whose father actually did some work in King Tut's tomb, and had a mock up of it. Guess what she brought in for her presentation? Actual STUFF from the tomb, plus the mock up. And the bitch went first. Which made all our presentations look like crayola renderings.
MsCellania said…
And by the way, NO I didn't graduate high school the year after the discovery of King Tut's tomb!
Anonymous said…
We have open house on Thursday night. The Young One already warned me I'll never get to Earth Science from her last class. And our high school has a new wing, too.

My God, maybe we live in Tuvalu and I didn't know it!
Anonymous said…
Oh, I love your card shark dudes!
Bec said…
open house sounds like fun. poker for taffy sounds like more fun. the ride in the night on a scooter sounds like the most fun of all.
French school seems like life on Mars next to your planet!
Anonymous said…
I'm back!!!
Loved everything I missed in these very long 11 days but most of all I A.D.O.R.E. your kids, I simply do.
And...Sanpellegrino l'Aranciata Esagerata (that's the old funky commercial here!)I used to drink it as a kid too...
Anonymous said…
I just love how you and your family keep me entertained!
Anonymous said…
I just love how you and your family keep me entertained!
Anonymous said…
HAHAHA! Youngest killed me with his bandanna get-up.