an IM session with Middle in which my parenting skills are in full force

it begins with a squabble over Middle's choice of font size, which is impossible to read...

9:22 PM

M: better?



M: hey and yeah i'm taking a shower soon, but S wants me to go with her and her friend to a faire (did i spell that right) tomorrow


M: Vanuatu, and we're getting a ride to and from


M: her friend, why are you typing like that?

BB: because my shift key was on, Okaay?

M: shift, you were holding it down the whole time? do you mean caps lock?

BB: yeah fine I was

M: well there ya go

BB: what faire? the rennaissannceee faire? the beer feste?

M: i dont know, she just IMed me and said, i want you to come with me to the faire tomorrow in Vanuatu. i doubt its a beer fest

BB: greased pig wrestling?

M: haha ummmmm i wouldnt even want to go to that

BB: jousting

M: yes! jousting thats the one!

BB: olde tyme

M: yeah, I guess

BB: who's driving?

M: ((there isnt really a olde tyme faire is there?)) i thought you were kidding

BB: is it at night?

M: yes

BB: oy

M: it starts around 5

BB: and? you could be home at 11?

M: i dont know, i'll call you if not

BB: I mean 6 hours is a long long time for a faire

M: yeah yeah that is a bit long

BB: yeah

BB: I suppose

M: okay

BB: you'll need some counterfeit money

BB: and a big stick

M: yes that would work

M: i was thinking i would just bring the hand gun

BB: and some mutton

M: mutton ?

BB:'s like lamb

M: ooooh right

BB: ok

M: why would i need that?

BB: they trade MEAT at faires

M: hahahahaha

M: i seriously just laughed a little

M: "what do you got?" "just some ground beef man"

BB: yeah, see, but if you have MUTTON, well, that would be worth, like, cotton candy - or a zepole.

M: i guess

BB: okay...think I'll sign out now.

M: ooook


Joke said…
Shouldn't there be a "thou" or an "odd's boddikins" in there somewhere?

Anonymous said…
If the faire is anywhere in Vanuatu I would think pigs would win hands down over mutton as far as meat trading goes.
Onyx said…
uki doubt it'll be the beer fest...that starts at noon.
Amy A. said…
You should write a parenting book.

I would buy it.
Anonymous said…
Love your dialogue--it's always hella crunk.
BabelBabe said…
you are way too cool to be a real parent, you know that? Will you adopt me?
Suse said…
My heart skipped a wee beat there. There is a MUSIC fest in (the actual) Vanuatu soon and a friend of ours and his son are going. And I thought for a minute, that they might meet Middle there.
Anonymous said…
i love that your boys like you. :)
Anonymous said…
what a great kid! i loved that.
Anonymous said…
I agree. you should write a book and adopt me.

and do you know the last season of French Survivor was shot in Vanuatu????
Sarah Louise said…
im'ing is luffly.