great new fall looks, which on me aren't, 2006 edition

I certainly was all over the whole look for fall last year, wasn't I?
So here I am again - to show you what they are showing, and tell you why it won't work for me.



Don't you just want to scream NO?
Bad shoes and skinny jeans?
Skinny faded jeans?
What? No acid wash?
I've been traveling and I have to say that, truly, only 2% of the world's population can wear tight skinny jeans.

See?



Here they are again.
Who do they think they are kidding?
NOT ME.
(is that Dixie, from All My Children?)



We had these sweaters in 1976 - I think it's best if we don't revisit them, don't you?
Not flattering for a curvy girl.

And this -



...is no better.
It just makes me want to yodel.
You don't want to hear me yodel.

And, speaking of intarsia...



THIS is some creepy intarsia.

I am feeling the tunic thing though.
The problem is the maternity thing.
Those comfy tunic things often make a person look to be about 7 months along...



I just don't think I could pull this off -
maybe with braids.

I have a tunic like this one



mine's from Old Navy, $12.99. This one is from Anthropologie and is $60, I think.
It looks okay on me, but I won't wear it around K's sister (who is about 6 months along).



I'm going to be polite and not say anything about this blouse.
It's Diane Von Furstenberg.

As is this



Are you getting the full magnitude of this?
7/8th sleeves.
Crazy knit bow thing.
Big buttons.
Slightly puffed shoulders.
AND POCKETS THAT YOUR BREASTS CAN SAG INTO.

Much like last year, after downloading these photos, I took myself to the thrift shop.
I spent $27 on: an Agnes B gray crewneck, a Banana Republic black cashmere tee shirt, and an April Cornell painted enamel bowl for Youngest to soak his feet in.
And now I feel much better.