great new fall looks, which on me aren't, 2006 edition

I certainly was all over the whole look for fall last year, wasn't I?
So here I am again - to show you what they are showing, and tell you why it won't work for me.

bad shoes bad jeans

Don't you just want to scream NO?
Bad shoes and skinny jeans?
Skinny faded jeans?
What? No acid wash?
I've been traveling and I have to say that, truly, only 2% of the world's population can wear tight skinny jeans.


skinny jeans

Here they are again.
Who do they think they are kidding?
(is that Dixie, from All My Children?)

wrap sweater

We had these sweaters in 1976 - I think it's best if we don't revisit them, don't you?
Not flattering for a curvy girl.

And this -

heidi sweater no better.
It just makes me want to yodel.
You don't want to hear me yodel.

And, speaking of intarsia...


THIS is some creepy intarsia.

I am feeling the tunic thing though.
The problem is the maternity thing.
Those comfy tunic things often make a person look to be about 7 months along...

pregnant heidi

I just don't think I could pull this off -
maybe with braids.

I have a tunic like this one

doable tunic

mine's from Old Navy, $12.99. This one is from Anthropologie and is $60, I think.
It looks okay on me, but I won't wear it around K's sister (who is about 6 months along).

dvf blouse

I'm going to be polite and not say anything about this blouse.
It's Diane Von Furstenberg.

As is this

dvf sweater

Are you getting the full magnitude of this?
7/8th sleeves.
Crazy knit bow thing.
Big buttons.
Slightly puffed shoulders.

Much like last year, after downloading these photos, I took myself to the thrift shop.
I spent $27 on: an Agnes B gray crewneck, a Banana Republic black cashmere tee shirt, and an April Cornell painted enamel bowl for Youngest to soak his feet in.
And now I feel much better.


JustRun said…
Oh, I'll say it. Those blouses look like what the women in "Nine to Five" wore when they were staging their revolt against their evil boss. We need not revisit that, at all.

And the skinny jeans? Uhhh, no. Jeans should not cut off one's circulation.
Badger said…
Okay, so...

Love the shoes. Love STRAIGHT LEG jeans, which is the healthy woman's skinny jean. Hate the wash on those particular jeans though, and a big NO to the baggy ankles.

A big GIANT NO to oversized sweaters of any kind.

Hate the cat bag.

Hate tunics. Hate those PARTICULAR tie-neck tops.

Every single top in every single store right now looks like maternity wear to my eyes. HATE. THAT.

I do want those shoes, though. Seriously. And how anyone who actually owns AND WEARS both Crocs and Campers can call those ugly is BEYOND ME.
jenny said…
This is what people are wearing? Bow tie blouses, long sweaters with a belt and kitten bags? oh my.

These things didn't look good 20 years ago...what makes people think they'll look good now?

I guess it's with good reason that LL Bean has been selling the exact same clothes every year for the past 50 years.
islaygirl said…
why oh why does MY thrift shop not have agnes b.?
Anonymous said…
I had several of those criss-cross tunic tops in the 70s.

The bow blouses remind me of when Molly was in pre-school. The mothers were invited for some event and when she realized that I was going to wear my (signature) black turtleneck, she asked, 'Can't you wear a blouse with a bow like the other moms?' Umm, no. We still laugh about that.

I know you just threw in that intarsia for the people coming over from my place.
Paula said…
What Jenny said. I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in the 70's. You know what that means don't you? Next stop THE 80's. God help us...
ocbp said…
I think I prefer the travel blogs to the fashion blogs
Defunct Lisa said…
Why do they use these pencil thin models with legs that are twice as long as their torsos? Maybe they stretch them in photoshop!!

Also - way to go on helping us weed out the crap in this season's fashion. It makes me not want to go shopping at all!
momslo said…
I have noticed black, grey, and white are back in full swing-

After viewing these pictures- I must admit-I'm glad I live her in the west-where one can get away with wearing black yoga pants, tank tops(if it's cold add a hoodie) and reef's-to all places-all year round!

PS-that salt (down below) is freakin amazing!
halloweenlover said…
Skinny jeans and leggings should be banned, I think.

People are constantly asking me whether my maternity tops are actually just regular tops, and they ARE NOT.

Is K's sister due at Christmas like me? I'm 6 months this week.
Anonymous said…
Wow, with thrift stores like that, who needs any other stores?
Anonymous said…
I'm with you, I'll be thrifting this season. That kitty purse is going to give me nightmares.
Veronica TM said…
You are so right! {but I have to admit that I like the shoes in the first photo} It sounds like you found great things at the thrift store and the price was right too!
Anonymous said…
I am stunned.
That cat bag...UGLY
SHoes: horrible
Well I think everybody else has covered the items so I'll just say...NO WAY.
--erica said…
You're making me want to shop.
For REAL clothes.. not those.
Anonymous said…
I HAD that sweater! I white with a pink shawl cover. Loved it. For one semester.

Straight legs - not on women over 30 - don't these people watch What Not to Wear?

And the blouses - been there, done that, and ain't going back.
Suse said…
The black cardi with the bow holds ones cigarettes very neatly on the shoulders.
kt said…

The Dixie model? The first whole human in the slew of scary photos you foisted upon us? I agree with Lisa. If she wasn't Photoshopped, she's made of Silly putty.

KPB said…
Firstly, I am still mildly obsessing about your missing chicken bits.

The worst thing of all of these (apart from that appalling cardigan that would be best to do the whole world a favour and just bury itself in the back of the cupboard at Aunty Lois' where it best belongs) is those hideously ugly weird ankle boot shoes that skanky hilton is wearing around town at the moment. Hideous.
Anonymous said…

i wear skinny jeans, but in all these pics they all look so horrible lmao
LJP said…
These are frighteningly reminiscent of a "Simplicity" pattern book, circa 1978. Revisiting an idea does NOT always mean retro. Sometimes it's just yuk. Which you have so eloquently pointed out!