how not to embarrass your 15 year old at Starbucks

1. Wear a black tee shirt and brown cord skirt.

2. Don't talk too much.

3. Slip him some cash as you walk in so that it looks like he's buying his own frappucino.

4. Keep not talking much.

5. Stand there quietly in your tee shirt and skirt when his classmate and her
inappropriately dressed, cosmetically enhanced, bosom displaying mother arrive.


MsCellania said…
Well done, maman.

The other? Udder chaos. She Should Know Better.

We have a neighbor like that. Always with the cleavage and poured-into lower half shorts or short skirts. I scurry into the house when I hear their interior garage door slam. Because, Honestly? It's embarrasing!
Ali said…
I thought torturing my teenage boys via embarrasment was going to be payback for all the years of bottom wiping I am in the middle of.

What d'you mean they'll expect me to behave?!
Badger said…

I do this to my kids all the time, whispering under my breath, "It could be worse. SHE could be your mother."

Right now, the boy child is oblivious. But the girl child is beginning to catch on to how lucky she is to have a mother who not only won't let HER wear belly shirts, but who doesn't wear them herself.

Or that's what I tell myself, anyway.
Caro said…
I thought the very act of us breathing embarrassed our teens. :)

My chickens finally posted. Better nate than lever.
Paula said…
I often wonder what people who dress like that think when they look in the mirror.
Joke said…
"If you say I embarrass you, so help me, I'll pick you up from school every day in the Oscar Meyer wienermobile and I'll make damned sure the horn plays either 'Dixie' or 'La Cucaracha'"

Badger said…
That won't work with my kids, Joke. Their cousin spent his summers driving the Hershey Kissmobile when he was in college. They thought it was cool.
Suse said…
I keep saying to Son #1 "I'm your mother. It's my JOB to embarrass you when you become a teenager." He just giggles disbelievingly. Ha.

You were very restrained. Congratulations.
Susan Schwake said…
ooh my first visit here and what a delightful post! i feel it is a full time job embarassing my two teenage girls. good work! behave? never!
--erica said…
I'm taking notes.
puerileuwaite said…
One more rule, when you DO have to communicate, start every sentence with "dude".

Example: "Dude, we have to stop at the dry cleaners before they close.".

Oh, and I for one would like to see a picture of you in the outfit.
BabelBabe said…
so I am ahead of the game. Yesterday, in the 95-degree heat, I put my hair up in two twisty-buns on the top of my head. Primo took one look and said, "You look like an idiot, Mama." And he's only five. I have YEARS to look forward to, for embarrassing purposes.
Unknown said…
Great tips for parents of teens! On the flip side, it's great things not to do, if you want a little cheap entertainment.
halloweenlover said…
I'm taking notes, you know.