I know you need more

but I just don't have it in me.
Make do with photos of items that had no business residing in a tropical villa.

another island

I sort of get this one.
The couple who own the house live on a whole nother gorgeous tropical island.
And, as such, have a painting of the other place in this place.
Rotten luck.

isle de medicine

At first glance, all seems well here -- well, not healthy, but, the table is okay and the four foot urn in the background is acceptable (it's filled with sand) but, upon closer inspection, one finds themselves wondering...

lady lamp
What is the DEAL with this lamp? Not very beach-y. Not that I require a theme, but this lamp makes me think of merlot colored velvet.

And look!
swing lamp
The sister to it sits on the shelf across the room.

I know. I can hear you. You are saying that the lamps came from another house - that they had nowhere to use them and brought them here. On an airplane...whatever...

Care to explain this?

okay, why?
Imported from Canada.

It hangs just to the right of this -
which? with no glasses, at night, with some gin? Indecipherable.

Was made of glass and beads. Or lace and monofilament.
Or hair.
Or fingernail clippings.

blue dish
What do you call this stuff?
It's a three sided ash tray.
With a screw in it.

I saved the best for last.
And I have no words.

bath door



puerileuwaite said…
BB, I have a bathroom just off the kitchen that those last 2 would be perfect for. Body functions should be celebrated more often in classic artwork.
lazy cow said…
It just illustrates a 'piss pot' perfectly.
Badger said…
Are you sure that's an ashtray? I would put my rings in it. And DH would fill it with stray coins and rubberbands and crap like that.

The lamp! In the first picture, I thought it was a statue of Kali. In which case, if I'd known it was there, I could have told you things would go VERY WRONG.

But it's not so nevermind.
Amy A. said…
I wish I would have had those pictures when I was potty-training. They might have helped.
Anonymous said…
Oh yeah. Reminds me of many vacation houses/cabins/cottages from my past.
afc said…
i have never commented before, but that last photo (on the right) has my forehead raised into my hairline. oh my LORD.
i love your blog, by the way. i'm a serial re-fresher of it and if you're anywhere near exit 135 on the GSP, do you want to come over for an impromptu 4th of july festivity? gin included!
MsCellania said…
That blue Wedgwood or whatever it is (trinket tray, I think) made the hairs go up on the nape of my neck - An Ex of one of my Ex's (got it?) had an entire set of china FOR TWENTY, with serving pieces and many dishes that you never knew what they were for in this exact pattern. We were served Thanksgiving dinner at her house one year. I insisted on rewashing all the pieces as they had

I think all of this stuff belongs in a bordello. Except maybe for the howling wolves. Oh wait! That could go in the waiting area!

And oh dear about all the medications. What an adventure you've had.

Sleep the sleep of the just.
Anonymous said…
Oh. Ma. God. That is just some of the funniest crap I have ever seen! Don't you just love how people decorate their vacation homes? You had me laughing my head off!
Anonymous said…
Proof positive that all the wrong people have all the money.
Lynne@Oberon said…
I think they may have moved all of the crap they wanted out of their main residence to the holiday house... so what you get there is hideous wedding gifts, 21st birthday presents, and rash purchases that they just couldn't find the heart to part with.
But it still doesn't excuse Wedgewood in a beach house. Where are all of the shells? All of the driftwood ensembles? The antique surfboard propped up in the corner? Shark's teeth!!? They just weren't trying.
Anonymous said…
Yup, the vacation house got the dregs. That way they don't have to feel guilty about tossing out gifts they've been given, nor do they have to look at it every day.
Glad you had a nice trip - bummer about all the illnesses however.
Eris said…
Ivory children sculpted in relief on a black slab of wood surrendering to the call of nature?

I need them. I need them now. I want to hang them in my apartment hall where people decorate their doors. Such Kitch. So ugly. So ugly I am filled with both revulsion and glee.