dateline: Tuvalu

6:06 pm.

Stopping in to visit with "Blackbird" may not have been a very good idea. While she seems perfectly amiable on the internet, this reporter was shocked to find her somewhat grumpy.
When asked what might be bothering her, she replied with a curt:
I'm not even really sure. Why am I having allergy symptoms in October, for one?
Wearing an outfit that her late father would have thrown in a sack and donated to The Salvation Army, "Blackbird" has only had one small glass of pinot.
Perhaps this is the problem...

Her kitchen really is as lovely as we have all thought - surprisingly though, it would appear that the breakfast dishes have just been washed as there are little bits of fried egg (over easy) in her quaint farm sink. One wonders what, besides reading blogs all day, she really does do. It would seem that her home isn't as clean as it could be and this clever sleuth has deduced that there is no pressed shirt for K to wear to work tomorrow morning.
Not that it matters.
We all know that she is tireless and will get up a few minutes early to have K (who is exceedingly handsome) look his best in a freshly pressed shirt from the sale rack at the Gap.
And then?
It's off to the dentist, as her youngest child (who she refers to as Youngest!) is having braces put on his teeth!

Luckily for our readers, "Blackbird" will probably have some hysterical incident at the orthodontist office to report.
Perhaps "Youngest" will vomit on her adorable new Keds.
If we are really fortunate, she may share whatever misfortune befalls her, whether at the dentist or in the market. She might have news about her long lost Volvo, or be involved in another adventure with produce!
There is just no telling what thrilling event she may choose to regale us with from her exciting day.

And yet, it is her delightful recounts of laundry doing and shoe shopping that draw over 200 readers per day (!) to this clever journal, this adorable diary, this absurd little diatribe.

No matter that she is a wee bit grumpy this evening -- it is a heavy burden she bears, churning out this drivel day after day...exhausting even, and we note a subtle tremor in her hand as she pours herself another splash of pinot.




The preceding post has been written in response to Calling All Correspondents. Any similarity to any persons blogging or not is purely coincidental.




Comments

Anonymous said…
LOOOOOOOOVE THIS.
Anonymous said…
Hooray! Great job on the Third Person meme, 'bird. And best of luck at the orthodontist.
Badger said…
Braces for Youngest? Today? For real?

Yipes. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Anonymous said…
What's up with the allergy symptoms this month? Here, too! Do you think *it all* is due to the seeming absence of autumn? Here we went from sunny skies and 80 degrees to cold, gray and gloomy in a blink.
Ooh, braces day. That'll shake you out of it.
Jennifer said…
It's always a good idea to stop in and visit "Blackbird"
jenny said…
Braces for youngest? Ice cream for Survivor Dinner tonight?

And I salute you, you heavy burden carrier you, for your hard work and many sacrifices. Dirty sinks and wrinkly shirts? I salute your family too, for tolerating this blog addiction.
Anonymous said…
is this a meme? cause my latest post could have totally been 3rd person. damned my eternal lateness!!

very funny.

not to harsh on anyone, but i thought you might find it amusing that i deleted dooce a while back, in the same links update that i added you. quite, huh?
Anonymous said…
I am in the same mood.
This reminds me of those "Good Housekeeping" interviews with celebrities. They crack me up.

I don't remember if I told you C love love loved "Hey, Willy. See the Pyramids." We got it from the library and we've read it a billion times. Now we're gonna have to buy it. It's the first book I've found that's written in her "language."
jak said…
See this is what i'm takin bout-excellent-just excellent writing-so witty and well,just great! I love it.

hey-I'm not sure where Tuvalu is-duh-but I know your near water-when we lived on the coast near SF-this time of year was bad for me because of the Cypress trees- and If anyone is trimming or cutting one down- holy-moly look out-

also thanks for your kind thought Re: my Jim-I'll let you know:)
Omni said…
I really liked this post!! :-)