One of our grocery bags spilled in the back of the Jeep last weekend. K just found a warm, ripe avocado in one of those small open compartments in the cargo area. We've decided to ripen all of our fruit in the car from now on.

It's Friday evening - K is off at archery lessons and I'm here with the boys for frozen pizza or The Pasta Challenge as has become our habit.

My boss returned this week, after working in Europe for a month, and, though I had plenty to keep me occupied while he was away, I was mighty glad to have him back in the office. I felt untethered.

I had an appointment with the shrink this week and realized while I was talking with him that I really do still have PTSD. I'm afraid a lot. I get nervous in crowds. Sometimes I have dreams about getting hurt (not on scooters). Time. I need time. I think I thought I would magically be fine after a year but I am not fine. There is a point in each day when my injured hand makes me absolutely crazy and then a little depressed. My surgeon was brilliant, my injury was massive. I am lucky to have what I have. I'm still learning to live with it.
Anyway.

I had an appointment with the dentist too. I thought I had lost a filling...in December. All these months I was nervous about going to have it fixed. He doesn't take insurance, I was sure it would need a crown, I have dental phobia - the whole nine yards complicated by what I realized about the PTSD situation. But my dentist is a specialist: dental care for the apprehensive it says on his door. We had a little chat and he gave me enough Novocaine to numb a pony and it turned out I did not need root canal or a crown as I had feared. He worked slowly and carefully and checked my comfort level every few minutes. AND THEY NOW ACCEPT MY INSURANCE. Winwinwin.

We're going through a very difficult time re K's work situation - a hard thing for me to write about. We're hoping things will change soon but it has frayed our nerves over the last months. In the end it will be fine whichever way things work out. We hold each other up and for this I am grateful. Last summer we held each other through injury and recovery. This summer we're working to get through a different kind of crisis. I don't even have the words for how lucky we are to have each other.

I've been occupied planning an off site office party and my annual trip to Germany. Things to look forward to. And it's Fall Fashion week on QVC so I'm dreaming of cool days and chilly nights.
Not a fan of summer.

I'm drinking red wine with ice.

Comments

Duyvken said…
Thinking of you and K - you are indeed lucky to have each other.
And the wrist stuff? Eurgh. But just quietly I think you have managed it all in your usual amazing way. There's deep strength there. xx
How did you land the world's most gentle dentist? What luck!
I am sorry to read of the K struggle continuing. Will keep praying for that to resolve. It is cool how much you love your husband. It comes across every time you write about him.
Paola said…
I agree with GGiW and I would like to add (having had the pleasure of meeting them in real life) that that love, that special feeling, that being as one is palpable. They are AWESOME. That's why they have three amazing, interesting, bright boys (or should I say men now).
Tough times hit us constantly, I am sorry to hear about K's struggle and I am, too, hoping they pass quickly.
The ripening in the Jeep is quite interesting. I should try it.
Thinking of you all and sending cool breezes toward you across the Sound.
kmkat said…
I covet your dentist. Also, when the Gourmet Bird Family eats frozen pizza, which brand do you choose? (she asks hopefully, knowing full well that whatever The Bird says, it will not be available at the local supermarket in the wilds of rural Wisconsin)
RW said…
Hmm. Thinking of you.
All my words seem trite.

Thank you for being brave and sharing these words.

I am looking forward to fall fashion mags hitting the stands. As much as I look forward to autumn months - we still have some summer living to do before my son leaves for school.

Happydog said…
Glad you have each other! And in other news--in Spain they drink a Tito de Verano which is red wine, ice, and sparkling soda ( which they call aqua mineral con gas) with a bit of lemon. It's really refreshing. Would have died in the heat if we didn't find this drink here in Seville.
Anonymous said…
Every time you write about your relationship with K, it makes me so happy to know that you are so THERE for each other.

jbhat