and, then, yesterday

I've been trudging off to work in the heat these last weeks.
You know how I hate the heat.


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I trudge toward my car on the train.
I read my phone.
I slip quickly through the station for the subway (too hot to walk)


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(It's ballerina camp season in my neighborhood and they are beautiful to look at on the subway.)
and then I trudge to get my coffee and go upstairs.

We've had a crushing disappointment regarding a job for K.
I've been stressed over it for months, actually, and now we know it won't happen.
It feels better to know, I have to say that, but we are, just a little bit, devastated.
All the hand wringing and late-night talks, all the prayers and wishes and hopes came to nothing.
I spent yesterday mourning it and now need to put it past me. I will put it past me.

But then, yesterday afternoon, the five of us were in the living room. The boys were sharing hysterically funny videos. We had wine with ice.

I looked around me and saw what I have.


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Blessed.

Comments

Carol said…
I am sorry about the job for K and grateful for your blessings for all of you.
Duyvken said…
Recognising our blessings makes all the difference.
I am so sorry to hear about the job news. Work stress is not unfamiliar to us and it is so consuming.
That aside, I have to say your couch looks so comfy. So comfy.
marian said…
thank you for sharing your life with us all. I always say (as a fellow freelancer, self-employed type) that when a job falls through, it's making way for something better. Keep the faith!
alice c said…
I'm holding thumbs for you both. The last time that happened to us there was an unexpected twist a month later which resulted in a much better opportunity.
kt said…
Yup, I get it. Just got turned down for a job within my (not-loved) company in a smaller department which could have significantly improved my sanity. It means I have to find something OUT of that place, & I'm ok with that now. We are in Oakland and leaving the girlie at Mills tomorrow. So proud and completely terrified am I. Best to you and the entire flock.
I am sorry. But I am happy to read all the blessings you still count.
Anonymous said…
and even if you had nothing else, you have yourself, and youre awesome - Leweyb