medical update

I've been to the Pain Management Doctor.
I like him well enough, but I'm not sure he gets me.
You might remember that I resisted pain management, claiming I was managing my pain pretty well.
Then I learned that we were supposed to be managing pain I wasn't even feeling yet.
Look, I can't really explain.
Around the time I was taking three (neuro) pain management pills a day (we aren't talking about narcotics here) I found myself crying for no reason. I did that for a couple of weeks and decided it might be best to stop taking that mid-day pill just in the nick of time.
I told the doctor about it and mentioned my ultimate goal is to discontinue the medication completely and, although he wasn't too pleased, he agreed to a plan for phasing it out slowly. It sounds to me as though he feels I will be in a great deal of pain without this stuff and I don't know why I disagree, but I just do.
So, this week I only took one pill in the evening. I do seem to feel my hand more, it doesn't feel great, but it doesn't exactly hurt.
I'm doing my exercises and working hard to regain some strength in my arm and shoulder.
I feel better...and, strangely, I can see better.
Yes, it seems that, aside from making me feel like I was all alone in a dark hallway, my vision was impaired.
I still feel like it's November but I'm working on it.

And what of life beyond the medical?
I am workingworkingworking on a corporate event and huge trip my boss is taking on Wednesday.
A thousand moving pieces, countless calls/emails/IM's with my priceless travel agent, and dozens of bits to fret over. Cars, trains, passport issues all vex me but I think it has come together. One more hurdle to clear on Monday and it should be settled.

I'm going to take a long weekend or two off in March.

I'm going to London in April and there's some planning around that to be done. (Alice! Dinner!)

AND, I am amazed to tell you, though I adore the snow, even though my Bogs are the very best and most wonderfully safe footwear I have ever worn, even while I love piling on the sweaters and scarves, I am STARTING to want to wear fewer, clothes.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not itching for spring. I think I'm just getting bored with my five stand-by outfits. The tried and trues of keeping warm when it's 6° are getting a little stale.
I've done what I'm known for doing: I wore a couple of outfits better suited for 40°, hoping they would re-kindle my wardrobe creativity, but paid the price as I shivered on the subway platform.
There is at least a foot of snow outside my door.

It's fine for now.


Wendy said…
This past Tuesday was the warmest day of the week here - we were in the upper 20's. I wore ballet flats and my feet froze walking the few blocks I needed to outdoors. I just couldn't take putting on boots one more day. No choice now - we're breaking record lows again. I am done with winter. I just want something above the freezing mark.
Paola said…
These meds scare the shiz out of me.
I had to tell you.
Can't believe the freeze you guys must endure.
Hang in there, nothing more I can tell you to comfort you, but please, dress accordingly ... :)
London! Alice! Swell!
Anonymous said…
In our experience here, doctors overmedicate for pain. My friend had to rush her husband in for a pain pill overdose and she was administering his meds for him TO THE LETTER of the doctor's orders. He almost DIED. When I went in for my knee last summer the doctor wanted to give me VICODIN. For heaven's sake! I argued and refused. I never even ended up taking a Tylenol for pain relief--seriously!
Good for you to insist on dialing it down. YOU know what you can tolerate and sometimes the side effects are worse than the first layer of pain. I think you're very smart.
Happy to hear you are busy, not unwell. I was planning on emailing when we got home tonight to see if all was well.

I think pain management is a very personal thing. You know your body -and your mind - and not to sound too jaded, but doctors often push what the most aggressive pharm reps roll in the door.

London in April sounds like a very romantic movie!
Anonymous said…
Your description for how you felt while on the too many meds was moving. It will be interesting to see how you tolerate it going forward. But I can tell from here that you really ARE getting stronger.

Good job on arranging all of the overseas travels. It sounds complicated!

I won't mention the weather here.

Crazy Mom! said…
Glad you are doing better. I have a very high pain thresh hold, and doctors are constantly prescribing too much for me. Like when I had a crainiotomy, I beggedm BEGGED, for ibuprophen. But they gave me Percocet, and lots of it. Ugh.

I am SO sick of cold! Yes, it's been bloody cold here in Hotlanta too.
I'm about to vent. My mother is in the rehab hospital with a pelvis that's fractured in 2 places. They can't do physical therapy because she is in so much pain but refuses to take pain meds. I hope she knows she's going to be there for a LONG time.

It seems like you found a balance of just enough to allow you to do therapy, but not so much that you can't function.