The Scene: bb and K are in bed with their coffee and tea and laptops.
bb: so many houses I admire have firewood storage in the living room!

K: ...(sips coffee)
bb: but no one ever has all that crap on the floor that comes with the firewood!
K: one needs bespoke firewood, like Doug has.
(Doug = our neighbor down the block, a Wall Street guy with seemingly limitless funds. He had firewood delivered last week, professionally stacked on his architecturally perfect front porch, with nary a wood-chip in sight. We get our firewood dumped at the end of the driveway and the five of us lug it onto our paint-peeled porch.)
First they power-wash the logs and then they let them dry for two years and plane them so they're perfectly shaped and stack immaculately.
bb:...(sips tea)
bb: so many houses I admire have firewood storage in the living room!

K: ...(sips coffee)
bb: but no one ever has all that crap on the floor that comes with the firewood!

K: one needs bespoke firewood, like Doug has.
(Doug = our neighbor down the block, a Wall Street guy with seemingly limitless funds. He had firewood delivered last week, professionally stacked on his architecturally perfect front porch, with nary a wood-chip in sight. We get our firewood dumped at the end of the driveway and the five of us lug it onto our paint-peeled porch.)
First they power-wash the logs and then they let them dry for two years and plane them so they're perfectly shaped and stack immaculately.
bb:...(sips tea)
Comments
how you feeling?
We have a truck load of wood (can't get less than that or it's much more expensive) dumped on the street and then 3 men must carry all of it (quickly too as it's ON THE STREET) up 150 steps, then stack it as best as possible in order to take a little at a time when needed down 30 steps where the fireplace is. This is at my mom's, remember? I have a fireplace but NO place for the wood. When we want to fire it we must carry it from my mom's to my home, down 150 steps, along a quarter mile and up 100 steps.
Stop laughing and never tell Doug.
Once I had a cleaning lady. The first time she came, I told her that when she came to something in the house and wondered if she should clean it, she should.
I came downstairs later and found her vacuuming the firewood. She was/is a keeper.