June 24, 2013

just another day at work

The Scene: The Kitchen and Dining Room of the Bird Household. Middle is preparing to depart for the airport. bb is hovering, somewhat nervously.

bb: So, I don't understand...

Middle: What's not to understand? I've told you. We're shooting a Formula 1 car.

bb: On the Indie track?

Middle: Yeah. I think.

bb: For what?

Middle: I can't remember. R told me...

(Youngest passes through the room)

Youngest: So, press your thighs together.

bb: (starting to perspire) For what?!

Middle: So I don't pass out from the G-Force.

Youngest (from another room): I think they can hit three G!

bb: You're going to be IN the car?

Middle: Yeah, it's a special car they've rigged so rich people can see what it's like to be in an F1.

bb: ....

bb: Just...can you...how about if you ask the driver...what if you just...just tell the driver your mom asked if he can just go a little slow, can you do that?

Middle: Uh.

bb: ....Just ask!

Middle: He's a professional race driver, Mom. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

bb: Just say,  casually, Hey! My Mom would appreciate it if you go just a little slower than usual.

Middle: I'll be fine. I'll be wearing a fire-suit and a helmet.

bb has no response. This knowledge has not comforted her.

Middle: Did I tell you we're gonna take it to a fast food drive-thru?

She pours herself a glass of wine.


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2 comments:

Hilary said...

I think a double vodka martini may have been more appropriate.....

RW said...

sometimes it's best not to know all the details.