I read Lucky magazine so you don't have to

K is working in the Land Of Free Magazines again and he brought home Lucky.
Lucky us!
I've got nothing against Lucky per se but I told him not to bother bringing it home. He didn't listen. Score one for you - now you don't have to bother buying it.

I sat down with my new addiction: roasted pumpkin seeds, and dove in.




It's a little heavy on the fonts, isn't it? My eyes are hurting. Luckily, what with the pumpkin seeds, I'm ingesting vast quantities of salt to add to my tears. Tough metaphor, eh?

Three pages in:


how old is Drew Barrymore? Anyone?



Who likes this PB table? I can't remember. Do we really want interior design notes from Lucky? I don't think so.



No words. (I mean, there's a ton I could say, but I don't have the energy.)



Nicole Richie has never looked so healthy, I don't think. This could be the only case wherein they add flesh with photoshop...



are her legs really that shapely? I doubt it. She has a new life, we're told, and a new husband and a new baby!



In this article, Lucky shows us the $2 trick! Rit dye! Can we talk about this for a minute? We are supposed to believe that one can take the jacket on the left, strip it of its original color and then dye it pale pink successfully? Do I even want a pale pink jacket? I cannot possibly imagine that this procedure is not a minefield of problems. And I'm not touching the theory of hand-dying the shoes.



Denim tops! And look,



I am wearing one this very minute!



Bright bags!



Got it covered! (Trust me, the top is a chambray shade and the bag is green.)



"Way cooler?" I went to that website to check out the unitard mentioned, as it is probably very comfortable, and will never be the same again.



These little stickers are cool but there's never anything I want to put them on. What can that mean?



I lied. I love all of these bags.



This brow pen sounds nifty. I have bangs instead.

There were lots of pages about hair. I don't really want to read about hair...a smattering of make-up tips, and lots of "text to buy."



If this means I can punch in four digits and own $25 lip balm I could be in a lot of trouble. Note to me: do not EVER learn how to "text to buy."

Finally, Lucky asks me who I am:



Sexy?



The Kitten?

Or The Bombshell?



What say ye?

Comments

Paola said…
You. A kitten. Or a bombshell.
Puhlease.
Have they met you? No doubt you are sexy, but not in that obvious LOOK-AT-ME way.
What are you then.
Lovely, stylish, unique ... off the top of my head.
Paola said…
Twice I commented without mentioning the restyling.
Fabulous, as usual.
I can only say I am thankful you read Lucky so I don't have to.
Duyvken said…
Oooh, the dr's bag is GORGEOUS.
Happy day, BB.
A
Anonymous said…
My bag shares your bag's lining.
My bag is so heavy, it's become my special occasion only bag.
Still, I lurve it.

ErinH
Wendy said…
You know I'm a crafty girl and the one thing I have absolutely NO desire to try is using Rit dye to change the color of anything.
I had a favorite black blouse that was faded. I did the black Rit dye. 2 washings later, it was as faded as before. FAIL.

I say I would rather be a Bombshell than a Kitten.

I would love a new bag, but will be nonemployed for a while longer.
I might shop my daughter's closet.
I'm Crayon said…
Oooh, pumpkin seeds! Font overload-the swine flu of the publishing industry. Umm, 67? It's okay. No, we don't. The high road is sometimes the best road. I doubt it, too. Yes, let's. Yes, they think we are that gullible. Probably not. And you would be right. Have you ever read the directions on the box?! Cute top! Nice lining! Terrifying. That your husband shouldn't bother bringing Lucky home very often. Me, too! I don't want to read about hair, either. Zzzz.... Yikes! No. No. No. See above.
Suzanne said…
Drew Barrymore will turn 36 in February. Just so's you know...since you asked and all.
kmkat said…
This is the crap we are feeding our teenagers? and young women? Ugh.
Pamela said…
I would like a specialty unitard for blogging.

brilliant as always, BB.

pam
The Coffee Lady said…
There is a unitard with wings. A 'bat' unitard.
Crazy Mom Tats! said…
I too am so Very Thankful that I don't have to read that mag - I feel somehow Lucky not to.

Along with unitards, you can get liturgical skirts. Who knew there WAS such a thing?
MsCellania said…
*sigh* I wish I had time to visit you more often. I always learn something.
Hope your boy-men are all doing well. I do worry about Youngest's lungs. My Eldest is doing allergy shots and elimination diet (what a bitch) and is much, much, Much better.