Survivor!

Oh, my friends!

Survivor is back.

Set in Nicaragua, it's Young versus Old. Sadly, I would be on the Old team - and, as you probably know, I spend quite a bit of time considering what I'd bring/wear/eat.

Do you know that the Survivors must agree to be filmed 24/7 under all and any circumstances?

Isn't it charitable that the producers have never shot the contestants in "compromising" situations? I wouldn't use the bathroom for WEEKS.

Anyway. Volcanoes! The Adventure Of A Lifetime! And, apparently, no Russell OR Rupert!

The teams aren't told how they will be split.

People are annoying other people during the opening credits!

One of the players is 66! (I'm so happy.)

Everyone meets on the beach.

Eve is wearing a cute plaid dress and she feels like she knows a lot about people.

Kelly is keeping her prosthetic right leg a secret.

Marty sees people checking each other out and recognizes the NFL coach.

In the lagoon is The Medallion Of Power - s/he who claims it wears it for the tribe and gives the tribe its power. People scatter immediately to find it.

Someone notices Kelly's limp.

Brenda finds the medallion. And Brenda's a looker.

Jeff breaks it to Marty that the tribes are divided by age and not as they were split on the way in.

40's and older vs 30's and younger.

What happens if you are 35 we wonder.

(I'd like to say, at this point, that being a winning Superbowl coach means NOTHING in this game IMO.)

Will Brenda trade the Medallion of Power (stupid name) for gear?

If she doesn't trade it the other team gets the gear, so the Young team decide to give it up.

The Old Team get the Medallion.

They meet each other and shake hands and Jimmy (football coach) sees that he can play his status and realizes that people may resent him.

Jimmy wants to work hard to win friends.

Holly and Wendy bond strong, fast and hard.

Wendy, sporting a cowboy hat is a PIECE OF WORK.

First impressions form quickly and Jane is out to surprise her team. She's 56 and is confident that she can do anything. She gets a fire going pretty damn fast. (Faster than we have ever seen anyone else on Survivor do it.)

The Young Team does their meet and greet and Sash (?) is confident that they have it all.

Jud thinks they will have a lot of fun.

Guys are walking around in their boxer briefs. Very exciting.

Many blur marks over groin areas have me frustrated.

Kelly's prosthetic leg is revealed after about 10 minutes - AND she looks great in a bikini.

On the first night Jimmy The Coach is sick! Throwing up! No sleep - a terrible night. It was much harder than he expected.

Chase (Young Team) is smitten already. Brenda knows what she's doing - she tells us Chase is clueless. They get mail about the hidden Immunity Idol and the two women who read the mail decide to keep it a secret, though they have a hard time deciphering the clues. They hide the note.

The Old Team get tree mail too, but theirs is about a challenge. Jimmy the Coach feels he can motivate the team. He tells the them that he knows he'll never win but he knows he can help someone else win and he's prepared to do that.

The first challenge looks mighty.

The Young Team arrives doing a war-chant.

Jud has been nicknamed Fabio by his teammates.

The Old Team is not impressed by the demeanor of the Young Team.

The teams will pour water through gutter pieces to fill a barrel and release puzzle pieces.

The Medallion Of Power gives a team advantages at challenges. It's too confusing for me to type.

The Older team keep the Medallion...and...SURVIVORS READY. GO.

It's neck and neck. Lot's of talk of FLOW. OF WATER.

The Young Team pull ahead but the Older Team is right behind them.

They both work to solve their puzzles.

The Young Tribe Win.

The Old Team is suffering and it's only day three. Jimmy The Other One Who Is Not A Superbowl Coach says he is going to vote for Jimmy The Coach.

Jimmy The Coach thinks Wendy is the weakest player. Or he is.

Holly agrees with him - and she had an alliance with Wendy.

Isn't it early for this crappe?

Wendy The Goat Rancher is the chatty one. She's nervous. And she's got a hell of an annoying manner about her.

(Middle comes home from work and I miss some action.) At Tribal Council, I think the Old Team seem cohesive and fun and interesting.

Jimmy The Coach knows he's a target but he feels he's there for the adventure.

The Other Jimmy calls bullshit on that.

More than half the tribe feel like they are vulnerable to the vote.

There's a big conversation about how old Wendy looks - and how much she talks...and we so wish she'd shut up. She makes a case for staying and it's not even time to make these kinds of speeches.

They vote.

Who goes?

Wendy goes. Wendy, WHO SCREWED HERSELF AT TRIBAL COUNCIL.

I love this show and I'm so happy Wendy was voted out.

It's exciting already.

Are you with me?