in which Middle and I explore the Brookstone catalogue

Over fried dumplings (some of which were still a little cold inside) Middle and I perused the Brookstone catalogue.
We admired the vast array of massagers -

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(Doesn't this guy look like a robot?)
and enjoyed, and laughed our asses off, reading about the wide variety of Slankets.

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And we realized, whilst wondering if we might get food poisoning from the underdone dumplings, that the Ultimate Slanket has yet to be invented.
Please remember, you've read it here FIRST.

We propose the following:

A QUEEN SIZED SLANKET.
WITH POCKETS.
WHICH VIBRATES.
AND IS HEATED.
AND HAS BUILT IN UNDERWEAR.

Picture it, if you dare.
A fleece, queen-sized blanket, with sleeves (or it wouldn't be a SLANKET) that vibrates (soothe those aching muscles, right?) with pockets (some on the inside - for tissues, for example/ some on the outside - how annoying is it when the tv remote falls to the floor?) with UNDERWEAR (K and I sometimes fight for control of the blanket...I'm only sayin. Having underwear built IN to the Slanket, in cozy fleece, would keep it in place on our bed).

Feel free to contact me if you work for Brookstone. I can buy some fleece yardage and dig the sewing machine out of the attic. I'm sure I could whip up a prototype in a weekend.




Comments

ingrid said…
you know that i love you, right?
The Coffee Lady said…
Socks. It will also need socks, so that your feet don't end up poking out and getting cold.
Mary said…
Slankets have not made it here to Oz - I don't think.

You wouldn't wear one outside with your ugg boots - would you?
SLANKETS! You could finance Middle's college education!
Crazy Mom Tats! said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crazy Mom Tats! said…
If you made it with thong underwear it could be a Skanket.
Anonymous said…
Tee heeeee heee, a SKANKET!
Paola
Jessi said…
Haha. Now that's a slanket I might actually consider buying.

Hey, I said "might." :P
Miz S said…
Mmmmm. Fleece underwear.
kt said…
Oh, I thought a Skanket would contain a special someone (in the sex of your choice) inside the thong inside the Slanket....

And Mr. Massager-Robot-guy looks like a Centurion who doesn't know which way he's supposed to wear his breastplate. Perhaps he could get an embossed Slanket instead? In bronze, natch...