dateline: Tuvalu

The Scene: bb is driving Middle home from the train station when a craving overtakes her.
It is 8:18pm.
She pulls the Jeep into the Tuvalu Convenience Store and enters.
She scans the shelves, desperately searching...

bb: You don't have any SweeTarts?
SweeTarts, do you know what I'm talking about?
They're kind of sour and come in a roll, like this....

Kind Indian Gentleman: Oh! Rolo! Yes, we have Rolo! Very good.

bb: No, I mean Sweet Tarts - they're sour and come in colors?

KIG: Skittles. We have the Skittles.

bb: Skittles are good, yes...I like Skittles too, but that's not what I mean.

KIG: Sour Patch Kids? We have the Sour Patch Kids.

bb: (becoming exasperated) Yeah, those are sour, and that's cool and all, but THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SWEET TARTS?! DO YOU HAVE ANY SWEETARTS? (Muttering under her breath) Oh good lord, this isn't going to happen.

KIG: Red Hots?

bb: No. Thanks. You should get them again...SWEETARTS, okay?

KIG: Okay. Sure, sure.

bb returns to her car where Middle is waiting.

bb: What am I going to do now?

Middle: You've got a real problem here.


alice c said…
One day at a time, bb, babysteps...
Anonymous said…
It's a big city, there MUST be some somewhere.

Anonymous said…
Hello, my name is bb and I am a Sweetart addict.
HIIIIIII beeeeeee beeeeee!

Poor thing, I could tell this would happen from your posts, your IM's with your sons, constantly mentioning Sweetarts? NOT GOOD.

Pull it together woman. We'll back you up, it's the right time too, you know ... new year resolution? YOU CAN DO IT!

eurolush said…
Time for an intervention.
Anonymous said…
have you tried Rolos? They're pretty good...
On an unrelated note, we brought a meal over to a new mom last night and guess what she handed to me? My copy of Love Actually that I'd lent her THIS SUMMER. Such a relief.
Anonymous said…
What kind of convenience store does not stock SweeTarts? The INCONVENIENT kind.

And really, why quit? (Are they your new smokes? Is it kosher to aks that/ ask that here?)

Crazy Mom! said…
I was at Dollar General and I saw a giant roll of Sweet Tarts by the register. It was ginormous. Each tart was the size of a Rollo.

If I had your addy, I'd send it to you.