Trouble is afoot in Tuvalu, my friends.
It is the time of year when we, citizens of this island, must deal with the hazards of changing weather. We endure cold mornings and warm evenings, bring sweaters to our offices and then sweat, and confront all manner of insects who seek shelter in our little hut.
Spiders and beetles invade our windowsills, the occasional ant appears near the back door and crickets swarm our outer walls.
Yes, crickets.
Big crickets.
I'm not talking about those heartwarming crickets beloved by many cultures. I'm talking about leggy, jumping, sticky, prickly crickets. Crickets who enjoy jumping up into one's pant legs. Crickets who fear nothing. Crickets who live and jump and even mock us as we attempt to slow their infiltration.
Crickets Of Unusual Size.
Named for the Rodents Of Unusual Size from The Princess Bride,

(and, yes, this is the best clip I could find re the ROUS)

COUSes have out-lived all manner of assaults.
We have sprayed Lysol.
We have shot Windex.
We have carefully laid strips of gaffers tape (sticky side up) around the perimeter of our home.
And YET...COUSes have been found in our showers, in our washing machine (closed!) and, last night, in Middle's bedroom.
It's true.
This morning, Middle was especially tired on the train.
Coincidentally, I had been woken in the middle of the night by a thumping noise. At the time, I imagined one of the boys had gotten up for a drink or gone to the loo, but, it turns out, Middle was doing battle.
Apparently, he glanced at his bedside table and saw a COUS staring at him.
Being somewhat squeamish, Middle donned his gloves -


grabbed a pvc pole from his home-made dolly track -


and went to war.

He's not sure if he actually killed the beast but he felt secure in the fact that he stunned it well enough to go to bed.
In any case, I hope you'll wish us well.
We might actually have to buy some pesticide.

Here's another great scene from The Princess Bride

and here's a terrific thing to put on your name tag the next time you are forced to wear one.

Hello My Name Is

Have a great weekend.


Badger said…
DUDE. We get them in September.

My college dorm had three floors. I was on the third floor. The first floor was halfway underground. To exit the building by the back way (toward campus), you had to go out the first floor doors and walk up some stairs to ground level.

In that stairwell? Every September? Crickets, both dead and alive, FOUR INCHES DEEP.

I still have a twitch.

And I can still smell them.

Hey! Pleasant dreams!
My car was recently invaded by ants, looking for a place to COOL OFF! 95 degrees in Oct just isn't right.

There was a "Spider Incident" at my daughter's house this week. The spider was the size of a Sorority Girl's fist. They called the house of some brave college boys. The boys arrived in tool belts containing cans of Raid, hammers and chemistry goggles. The pictures were priceless!
This made me laugh hard because I have spent the better part of my evening stalking a COUS lurking in my mudroom, perhaps in someone's boot or maybe in the heating vent. You've won this round, cricket, but we will meet again tomorrow.
Scot said…
LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!! I frequwntly gave to wear one of those stupid name tags. Next time I'm sooooo gonna do that! Can't wait!
Scot said…
OK, OK. My eyes are really bad tonight.
"FREQUENTLY HAVE" is what I ment to say.
Sorry 'bout that.
Anonymous said…
Buy some oscars (fish). They love to eat crickets.
unmitigated me said…
My daughter came home with that very t-shirt. I scolded her for not bringing me one! Are you sure this isn't some biblical judgment being brought down on Tuvalu? A plague of locusts?
Anonymous said…
Ok, it makes sense now. I get why THOSE towns around you are called
..... Valley or ...... Grove.
Because of COUS!
Anonymous said…
Must remember that name tag. Perfect.
MsCellania said…
Good Gosh, one must use GASOLINE-BASED cleaners to annihilate insects! Like Scrubbing Bubbles! Sounds so kind, but is such a killah. But, ah, must be quickly cleaned up, of course...
Anonymous said…
Wasp and hornet killer is what we were reduced to using in Arkansas. Do you know how potent that stuff is? We could spray the damn things from across the room. *shudder* Just the memories of the mutant-sized bugs in Arkansas can bring tears to my eyes...
Kassianni said…
I LOVE that nametag!
I am so doing that the next time I have to wear one.
Caterina said…
One of my fav lines. I got to see his one man show and it was amazing.

Better COUS than palmetto bugs, which is what I live with :P
alice c said…
Crickets of unusual size? Everything in Tuvalu is bigger and better than little old England - I think that you just did this post to show off.