Uncle B's take on Survivor

This hd makes my eyes water.
20? they're gonna hafta kill someone
That guy paddles like a wimp
The guy who's gonna make it hell? guess who's going home?
Was that a sweater vest?
Ya know - I outfitted Johnny Fairplay - you don't know where you're going.
They lie Matai doesn't mean leader it means you are the first meal.
foa foa?
Is Shambo the killer whale - Assembled: Shamu!
They elect leaders?
Apparently
Yale type, eh?
Offensive much?
Candy asses?
Shambo is the smartest? the team is screwed.
Rope maze is night four fyi -
I don't need flint - all I need is a match and baked beans for lunch
You mean like put the match by your?????
Yes
Did he say Afro Americans?
That strong guy was moving
Are there any famous diseases in Samoa?
Roll it dude!
Who gets the first hernia?
communal laughter during the breast shots
They way they shot that thing I thought it was eight feet tall - it's two feet off the ground.
I didn't know Asian were sneaky...well there was that whole Pearl Harbor thing
Already people are talking about who doesn't deserve to be here
When bb and k return there's gonna be ten cats and a monkey in their house cause I need a monkey...
also, is this a toilet seat up house or a toilet seat down house?
well, now that mom's gone...
oooh, someone's rockin the short shorts
oh yeah, an alliance with the dumb short haired blond? I give him three weeks and I wonder how many times he's been divorced
Did he just tackle a tree?
He's actually a rocket scientist!
Does hair like that take mousse? how do you get hair like that?
Didn't Shambo say a few minutes ago that she liked the way he was leading? now she's complaining?
oh man, that guy is lying about the whole New Orleans thing? he's workin it
burning people's socks?
He owns and oil company - imagine working for him? today we're gonna dig an oil well, with popsicle sticks.
He's a heck of a guy, not particularly smart
There's no puzzles in the wilderness, I've been there - let's turn it off
I'm surprised that guy's not on top pushing his teammates back
They're not gonna vote out the asshole cause he's got a dead dog - plus they don't know he's an asshole yet
I think the trouble maker should be voted off first but it never goes like that - because, you know, these people have never seen Survivor
Where's that oil guy really from?
A little town called none of your damn business
This guy is going for it
He's all over the place, how much fun would it be if he got voted out?
There's "different levels of weakness?" Yeah, that's heavy
That oil guy has the crazy eyes
She pissed him off, he went to everyone, Marrissa goes home.
What a piece of s!*@ that bald headed guy is.

Comments

jenny said…
I haven't seen it yet...I feel like I should print this commentary as a viewing guide. Bald headed guy = Oil guy? So many questions...
Amy A. said…
Very nice, Uncle B. You did bb proud.
Oh Uncle B is in da house!
Anonymous said…
Nivc, b. Thx!

jbhat
Scot said…
I don't watch survivor so reading this was like reading an Ionesco play.
How much does the winner get this time?
Anonymous said…
His assholery is so huge, they shouldn't take too long to discover it.

Nicely done, B!

ErinH
I want him to guest post every Survivor episode. The Uncle ROCKS.

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