it seems there are not enough hours

And then, to pound out a post and have it vanish...and that's what it takes sometimes: sitting and making time to pound out post. Like taking the time to wipe down the bathrooms. This is tough stuff and I'd advocate for a four day work week.
It doesn't mean the blush is off the rose. I'm loving it still.

Anyway.

On Friday, we were dismayed to see a woman with two toddlers board our morning train. Okay, maybe I was dismayed - K is the kind of person who can become irritated when the aluminum foil won't unroll properly but he is very tolerant of noise and distraction. Me? Not so much.
She brought them in and sat them in the facing seats in the middle of the car. The boy looked about two years old and his sister could not have been older than three. The mom had a rolling suitcase and, at the sight of her, one of the women already sitting in the facing seats, fled - a nervous look on her face.
She was one of those moms who narrates: I know, Charlie, it's very exciting to be going to Massachusetts on the train...Now, Hannah, we mustn't put our mouth on the window...which I do not criticize (though it's not my style) but merely report.
I put on my iPod soon after she arrived as I didn't want to listen to the narration of Charlie and Hannah's trip, but even Moby couldn't drown out the strains of Mommy placing a speaker-phone call to Daddy so Charlie and Hannah could tell him they were on the train. My fellow passengers did not look happy, I'm sure I didn't either. Loud phone calls are looked upon harshly and this was above and beyond.
At some point I began to think of how she could have done it better. I mean: to travel at rush hour? alone with toddlers and luggage? from this train to the next...a car service into town maybe? A friend to come along for this first part of the journey to help wrangle? Driving instead of training? I talked to K a little about it but he wouldn't entertain my line of thought. This was the way she was traveling and he implied that I should shut up about it. And I did.
When the train pulled in, a man was kind enough to help her with her suitcase as she helped the little ones up the stairs. (The filthy stairs.) People were patient as the kids climbed slowly. I let my aggravation fade and then felt terrible - for her, about me, how could I only be doing this for only six months and be so jaded? How could I, so easily, forget dragging a new baby and a six year old, with a car seat and a stroller through two airports - alone. I felt ashamed of myself and spent some time feeling sorry for myself and her.
But she did it. She got them to the next train - they were on their way and I had my Friday. My toddler-free, get my coffee, lunch with grown-ups, important business Friday. I wore go-to-work clothes and didn't cut up food for a little one and did very little mothering. I was, for the very first time in many many years, completely independent.
When I got home, having had a long hard week, K took care of me.
My boys asked how things were.
Oldest stopped telling a story so I could tell mine.

And, after reading all of that - I'd like, very much, for you to read this, for Rae and I could not have more different lives.
Such
different
lives...and yet, I felt every single word she wrote as if I was living them.