notes from the office

I starting to feel more "settled in" at my job, and it's nice.
The weather is better too and that helps. It's not as dark when I leave in the morning and it's getting lighter in the evenings which is nice. I've even walked a couple of times from the train to home.
The only thing I still haven't found a routine for is lunch.
When I first got to my job I didn't stop for lunches very much. I think I thought stopping and eating would throw off my progress. Tough to explain. But now I'm finding time to eat and exploring the options for lunch and bringing stuff from home (when I'm in the mood to figure that out at six in the morning). So I'm doing better with that too.

I've been saying that the first month of my job I learned The Job and the second month of my job I learned the people. It seems like the third month of my job I've learned my self.
And, here I am, in the fourth month of my job - settling in.
I used to mess SOMETHING up every day. Now, I mess a couple of things up a couple of times a week. This week I made arrangements for my boss to be in two different cities on the same day.
Priceless. He's awfully good about my messing up, but I kickkickkick myself for a long time after that kind of thing.
I wonder if it's because I'm not 25 or because I have a lot on my mind or if it's because I haven't worked in a long time that I make mistakes. I might just be stupid. Imagine.
I listen to other people in my office speak confidently about projects they are involved in and wonder if I will sound like that too sometime. I long for it. But I also wonder why Doritos are triangles so don't ponder my situation too much.

I was awfully busy yesterday - from morning till evening, which I like much better than being bored. I try to walk around a few times during the day - take mail to the mailroom rather than have it picked up, walk to someones office instead of calling them, go outside for a few minutes instead of ordering lunch in and, at one point, I was walking to the mailroom and I smelled a familiar scent from life at home.
Someone, down the hall from where I sit, was burning a lavender candle.
I smelled it as I was on my way and it stopped me dead in my tracks.
It was so out of place, that scent which only comes from a candle.
It was so reminiscent of life at home that I did not recognize it right away.
But, then, it hit me. I walked into her office and said: is that...?
and she said: oh! I had a lavender candle burning. I hope it didn't bother you!
I could not possibly explain how much it did not bother me.
And, so, I said: no bother at all. It's lovely, in fact, and left quickly.

I'm trying so hard to say less as it seems, at work, to mean so much more.


Anonymous said…
No, bb, I would not imagine you are stupid.

I would imagine you are world-renowned belly dancer, Bulbula Hazar, creator of such moves as "The Twisting Camel Pelvic Shimmy" and "The Choo-Choo Undulation."

Please. Those hips don't lie.
Badger said…
Yeah, I totally would have noticed by now if you were stupid. It's usually one of the first things I DO notice.
Anonymous said…
For your lunch, have you considered having leftovers from your divine dinners? We pack up lunches as we're cleaning up after dinner so that they're ready to go the next day.
RW said…
I too, am delighted by how much more light there is - I definitely suffer a bit from seasonal disorder... I have way more energy.

Glad to hear you are settling in.
Paula said…
You're doing fine.

I would have been back home at this point because I know staying home for so many years has rendered me unable to put up with other people's crap.

Don't worry so much.
MsCellania said…
Stupid?! No. You're learning an awful lot, all the time, and have to make decisions quickly. You're still packing the data bases. Pretty soon, you'll have enough choices from which to draw for almost every situation, and mistakes won't be happening. Well, as much!
You are lucky to work in such a nurturing environment, and I will repeat:
They are LUCKY to have YOU.
Anonymous said…
I called dullard on myself when I transitioned from my office job to the coffee shop. I didn't imagine it would be difficult. After all, I had waitressed in the past...and these kids were taking drive-thru orders while mopping the floor or doing the dishes. Gee whiz was I in for a shock. Then? One day? It became easy peasy. I'm considering going back to school, and I'm curious to see what that transition might be like...tests, papers...all familiar, sure, but a million years back on the timeline...
Anonymous said…
Why ARE Doritos triangles? That was funny, bb. No one would ever take you for stupid. Quite the opposite in fact.

And seriously, 4 months? YOU JUST STARTED. But it's awfully good to hear you are getting that settled feeling.

islaygirl said…
that you're making mistakes means you're still learning. and learning is good thing. you're not stupid. stupid is never making mistakes!

i also am trying hard to say less and mean more.
KPB said…
You know, I want to use the term 'quaint', but somehow I just know that would involve you really killing me with a tray.
Anonymous said…
I just wanted to add that if you were 25 you would probably have booked your boss to be in 3 cities at once or maybe would have been too hungover to come in to work to book him at all. I work with people around that age and speak from experience.

Allison said…
This post hit me hard tonite.

the bit about saying less and meaning more.

That's why I started the simple gifts blog.

My family blog (Tutta)was more about what to say "correctly" so as not to offend.


Thanks for this. :-)
Anonymous said…
I'm finding saying less can mean more at home, too.

And saying less in an email to my sister? Well, that's just rewarding.

Don't kick too hard, it really is early days, and you've made a huge transition.

Mary said…
Yeah well you know.

I just think what you have achieved is fantastic.

I am not at all sure I could be doing what you are doing.
Anonymous said…
I think your resolution is lovely.
Lifeofkaylen said…
Lunch is hard for me too. I've been in my job for almost five months and I'm not part of any lunch group at work and I'm not in any routine with bringing food.
I try and bring leftovers a few times a week but all too often I drive to the deli down the road and get a fresh grilled chicken sandwich, which I sometimes eat in my car listening to the news, just to get away from work-stuff.

I don't look forward to lunch ever.
Anonymous said…
No 25 year old would ever even care what they're doing. But you have years of home/family/chores organization , hence you expect to give your best.
Don't torture yourself.
You're doing brilliantly and I am sure everybody adore you in that place.
Anonymous said…
I really don't think I'm okay with you kicking yourself.

(Even though I'm a notorious kicker. Of myself.)

Don't even say the "S" word, superwoman mother of three boys and wonderful wife and incredible blogger.

Unless it's settling in. Glad to here that "word". ((bb))