Tuvaluans around town
It's a very busy time of year here in Tuvalu.
I don't know when people ran their errands during the school year, but now that school is back in session you do not want to be on the main drag at eight in the morning or three in the afternoon.
It's quite obvious that people are planning their driving around drop-offs and pick-ups at the schools.
So, yeah, Tuvalu is bustling with energy and it's tougher to get around and I've been noticing lots of people and have decided to tell you about them. Again.
Here we go:
Bike Riding Guy - remember him? I saw him the other day, on his bike (duh) and he looked more beat up than EVER. What IS his deal? He's not a wimpy looking guy so I can't imagine someone is beating him at home. Maybe he's a professional sparring partner? Gosh, I wish I knew.
Palm Beach Looking Lady - SAUNTERING in front of me in the supermarket, choosing hummus as if she were at Van Cleef and Arpels FORGOD'SSAKE, she is George Hamilton Tan and has very short cropped bleached hair. She was wearing very large, pink tinted sunglasses and frosty lipstick. Her outfit was noteworthy too - especially for someone in her 60's: white mini skirt belted with a very wide gold belt, high heels (also metallic leather) and a tank top.
Smoking Sushi Chef - first spotted a couple of weeks ago and confirmed yesterday, the sushi maker at my supermarket hides behind some shelves out in the parking lot and smokes. He always looks a little sad and dejected too so my point here is: STAY AWAY FROM THE SUSHI AT MY SUPERMARKET.
The Other Crossing Guard - stationed on a different corner from the Kooky Crossing Guard,
this Crossing Guard is cut from a different cloth. (See how I tied that whole cloth/coat thing in? no?) She's a big lady with short hair and work boots. I think she wears the shorts version of her uniform most months and usually adds a pith helmet. She used to drive a little convertible which she left parked near her post but, last year, bought a Mini and had it completely customized in tribute to her favorite football team. She even has a big wedge of cheese on the roof.
Happy Monday.
I don't know when people ran their errands during the school year, but now that school is back in session you do not want to be on the main drag at eight in the morning or three in the afternoon.
It's quite obvious that people are planning their driving around drop-offs and pick-ups at the schools.
So, yeah, Tuvalu is bustling with energy and it's tougher to get around and I've been noticing lots of people and have decided to tell you about them. Again.
Here we go:
Bike Riding Guy - remember him? I saw him the other day, on his bike (duh) and he looked more beat up than EVER. What IS his deal? He's not a wimpy looking guy so I can't imagine someone is beating him at home. Maybe he's a professional sparring partner? Gosh, I wish I knew.
Palm Beach Looking Lady - SAUNTERING in front of me in the supermarket, choosing hummus as if she were at Van Cleef and Arpels FORGOD'SSAKE, she is George Hamilton Tan and has very short cropped bleached hair. She was wearing very large, pink tinted sunglasses and frosty lipstick. Her outfit was noteworthy too - especially for someone in her 60's: white mini skirt belted with a very wide gold belt, high heels (also metallic leather) and a tank top.
Smoking Sushi Chef - first spotted a couple of weeks ago and confirmed yesterday, the sushi maker at my supermarket hides behind some shelves out in the parking lot and smokes. He always looks a little sad and dejected too so my point here is: STAY AWAY FROM THE SUSHI AT MY SUPERMARKET.
The Other Crossing Guard - stationed on a different corner from the Kooky Crossing Guard,
this Crossing Guard is cut from a different cloth. (See how I tied that whole cloth/coat thing in? no?) She's a big lady with short hair and work boots. I think she wears the shorts version of her uniform most months and usually adds a pith helmet. She used to drive a little convertible which she left parked near her post but, last year, bought a Mini and had it completely customized in tribute to her favorite football team. She even has a big wedge of cheese on the roof.
Happy Monday.
Comments
I love that school is back in session. You post early. :)
Sending my application in today!
crossing guard with the mini - Crossing guards can afford mini's?! And THEN have money to customize it! I am in the wrong line of work.
B
A cheesehead crossing guard? How did she escape from Wisconsin, I wonder.
mom2
The ones down here have fake boobs that look like a bad plastic surgeon inserted 2 cereal bowls directly beneath their collar bones.
And they wear ALL their jingley gold jewelry at the same time.
I looked up "kinnearing." Blackbird does that sometimes. But I didn't find out if the term has anything to do with Greg Kinnear, an actor I enjoy.
And you will NEVER know why Bike Riding Guy is all beat up, because the first rule of Fight Club is not to talk about Fight Club, yo.
Now I'm off to read your archives, because apparently I've forgotten a bunch of stuff.
Hey! The neighbors got me a dog! It's TRUE! I told them if they got another dog I would faithfully walk him/her. They did and I do - so soon I will have fellow dog walking characters to post about. Our school pick-up lane is benign. I'm probably the weirdest one there every day (but way too ADD to ever be a crossing guard)
I am assuming the crossing guards are parent volunteers? Otherwise, YEAH, I need to move to Tuvalu to get a crossing-guard job.
This was like a cast of characters from a quirky American tv show!
Barf.
These boots were made for walkin'!
Yours in tans, miniskirts and overall gorgeousness,
Palm Beach Looking Lady