things I think I do but I really don't

1. Wash the floors. I have selective memory loss concerning the last time I washed the floor. I'm pretty sure it was very recently. Not.

2. Floss. I floss when there is something noticeable stuck in my teeth. I'm pretty sure you are supposed to do it every day.

3. Bathe the dog. Who are we kidding.

4. Hand wash my hand washables. Who are we kidding.

5. Dry clean my dry cleanables. I tell myself it's better for the environment.

6. Not worry.

7. Eat poorly. HA. My blood work, at my recent physical, proved that I actually have a pretty good diet. OR: my blood work did not prove that I have a crappy diet.

8. Read the newspaper. I don't think the Style and Home sections count.

9. Stay in touch with old friends. Blogging doesn't count.

10. Save money. Do coins count?

11. Feed my family a balanced diet. My mother occasionally reminds me that there is nothing green on their plates.

Thank you Loretta.


Ali said…
I am your long lost twin (only with no dog).
Jennifer said…
Well.. let's see the list of the things you think you do and actually do.. I'm sure that they will all cancel out this list :)
Anonymous said…
So what is it about flossing that so many people hate so much? I'd rather clean bathrooms than floss my teeth.
Anonymous said…
This was great!

We share some, but not all. I find it very interesting.
Amy Urquhart said…
I freely admit that I do not wash the floors. I should, though. I really should.

Anonymous said…
That's a terrific list. I am right there with you on the hand washables. I toss them in a mesh bag and send them through with the rest of the laundry. I also think I eat worse than I really do, too.
KPB said…
Well it's 2.18am here and I've finally given up and got up because of the wretched indigestion/sore stomach I'm feeling for eating a (very large) packet of Pita Chips as my dinner.

God I'm getting old.
Unknown said…
I don't wash the floor more often, because in soggy Seattle with a dog, why bother?

He always tracks in paw prints as soon as I finish mopping.

It's not like I have to eat off the floor. So, I let it go for long stretches of time.

I apparently have a high tolerance for dirt.
country mouse said…
Like ali, you and I *must* be identical siblings separated at birth! I've gotten hubby to be the official dog washer. Maybe I can talk him into being my official tooth flosser too?
Annagrace said…
I actually love to floss but do not have any non-human animals in the house because I have a hard enough time getting a shower myself.

Greens are good. In cream sauce with melted cheese on top.
alice c said…
Gasp!! You told me once that your floors were famous for being squeaky clean.

And I believed you (strikes forehead with palm of hand).

Does this mean I can give up washing my floors now?
barbra said…
#9 is ME! Waaa!
I think I'm such a great friend, but then I realize I haven't talked to any of my real *friends* (not just other school moms) in -- hmm -- not even sure how long.
It makes me :-(
Mary said…
If Ali is your twin then I am your triplet.
Anonymous said…
Get yourself some of those floss picks. Not the totally flat ones, but the Glide ones that look like a cute little white tuning fork with floss strung between the tips of the tines. They allow you to floss one-handed, which means the other hand is free to operate the mouse.

My dental hygenist noticed the difference after I started using them :-)
Anonymous said…
I actually enjoy flossing, and washing the dog (not at the same time).
I totally related to this. Great blog...