Survivor with a side of SPAM

My mailboxes have been completely inundated with SPAM. I'm overwhelmed.
Today I'm going to decide if I need to change my addresses and send apology notes to any else it effected. It has even crawled into my comments on other people's blogs.

ANYWAY, SPAM, IN THE MEANTIME, SPAM, MAILER-UNKNOWN, DAEMON MAILER, HIPPIE CHICK BAKERY, MAIL DELIVERY SUBSYSTEM (do you think this is a bad idea?), BARRACUDA SPAM FIREWALL, INTERNET DELIVERY MAIL SYSTEM, I did happen to watch Survivor last night.
I had originally reported, to the assembled masses, that Middle and I would be attending the second in a long series of meetings at the high school regarding college and the admission process, but, it turns out that I had lost my mind. The meeting of which I speak WAS originally slated for last night, but public outcry moved the administration to change the date of the meeting to the 13th. I was duly informed. Several times. BUT I DID NOT CHANGE THE DATE OF THE MEETING ON MY CALENDAR.
I realized, whilst showering, that I had some nagging doubt about that meeting, and had a mild panic.
I thought I'd call Middle's counselor and explain that I'm an idiot and tell her about my calendar, I thought I'd be all self-deprecating and funny. And then I thought: fuck it.
She doesn't need to know I was an idiot. I could simply blame it on SPAM. Or not.

So, I was HOME. And I WATCHED. AND I received phone calls from well-meaning friends from colder climes who wondered why they got some SPAM of their own, from me.

On to the recap:

We all remember last week.
That stupid-head Jonny Fairplay wasted an hour of my time.
The Fans enthusiasm catapulted them to a win.
The Favorites are doing well in their camp.

Last night I realized that I love that nanny. In the tankini? She has a nice voice and looks like a normal person in that tankini. I'm always working the outfit in my head - the one I'd wear...the tankini, with board shorts, and Tevas I guess, and a surf shirt. I'll bet my glasses would get pretty dirty....OKAY. BACK TO REALITY. SPAM.

Somehow, on the way back from Tribal Council, the Favorites (you don't expect me to know the team names, do you? Jeff doesn't even know the team names) manage to catch a fish.
Eliza looks even creepier in the night-vision camera and I suddenly remember that Jonathan With The Hat sounds like Alan Alda...remember?
Jonathan With The Hat tells us that with THEIR combined experience, he is completely CONFIDENT that they can beat 'these guys' in ANY CHALLENGE.
Except, apparently, the first one, eh?

Commercials. The Stain! The Stain which I LOVE. K has a big meeting next week and I'm thinking of drawing a little talking stain on his shirt - what do you think?

Day 4 at the Fan camp finds them trying to get organized. They have a crappy shelter and no water. They are working on starting a fire. Can someone remind me to purchase a flint, because I'm going right out into my yard and trying this. I realize that there is a trick to it - but it CANNOT be as hard as some people make it out to be.
I think Krazy Kathy is wearing a Land's End tankini. And she looks like the lady that works in the print shop in my town. Hmmm.
KK decides she's going to spend the next night in a cave she's spotted - but Jason (?) beats her to it. No one seems to be bonding as a team over here and Tracy, Chet and KK go off to build their own shelter. They feel 'shunned.'
Whatev.

The Favorites are diving into the crystal blue sea and eating giant shellfish.
Ozzy is ALL OVER Amanda.
Pavarti is 'working' James.

The Fans get a fire started and the three outcasts make a decent shelter and then offer support for the rest of the team making theirs.
Mikey flirts with Mary.
It's a camp of bad tattoos I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. (Susie got me started on that one.)
Joel has no neck but he's got a slew of ugly tattoos.

During the night there are rats. Rats and necking.
Cirie doesn't seem troubled by the rats, but the necking? The necking, two couples worth, unsettles her and she is going to do something about it.
She moves near the fire with Jonathan With The Hat and they team up....So now (keep track if you can) Jonathan With The Hat, Cirie Who Lost Weight?, Eliza Who Looks Creepy, Yau Who We Love, and Amy Is She The Nanny? are all allied.

Time for a challenge.
The fans cheer loudly when they are told that Fairplay was voted off, and the teams must do a swim, climb, dive, swim, puzzle test. The winners will get fishing gear, immunity and send someone to Exile Island.
And so the teams run across the lily pads, climb a tower, smash a tile, dive for a key, swim back to shore (5 times) and then unlock a chest, retrieve the puzzle, and solve the puzzle.
It's a good race to watch and then Chet The Homosexual That Kathy Confronted suddenly loses all will to live and blows the whole race for his team.
The favorites win and send Krazy Kathy to Exile and then find out that one of their own must go too. Cirie either volunteers or doesn't argue -

Sidenote: I think Jeff had a cold during this episode. He wasn't his usual self and seemed congested. I'm only saying.

Kathy is pleased to be on Exile Island. She tells us so - and she's not so crazy anymore. She and Cirie wade and swim across a big lagoon about 4 or 5 times as they follow clues to find the immunity idol. It's actually pretty funny and neither of them really lose patience though there is lots of complaining. We don't actually know if they are successful or not but it would appear that they didn't find the idol.

Back at the Fan camp, I realize that Erik is Leif Erikson. Some members of the team want to vote Chet The Homosexual off. He was terrible at the challenge, but, remarkably, not too many people are pushing for him to go. People are too caught up in politics and alliances to pay much attention to CTH.
Mikey With The Bad Tattoos has a big plan.
Hulk-Looking Guy With No Neck And Bad Tattoos is confused. (And, let me just say, right now, that if they don't get this guy a razor? He's gonna look like he's a member of ZZ Top in about two more days.)
Erik thinks Mikey should go - which would under mind the whole Big Plan thing.
Hulk-Looking Guy tells people they should vote Mary off.
I'm not sure who anyone IS at this point, so I'm completely confused. I think. SPAM.

At Tribal Council, Chet says he was NOT exhausted during the challenge. Jeff doesn't buy it.
Tracy says that camp life is 'aggravating.'
Natalie is kind of freaky looking. Or looks freaked out. Or had plastic surgery on her face. OR SOMETHING.
Mary says she feels secure. Mary who has been necking with Mikey. Who had a BIG PLAN.
Who is now screwed - because THEY VOTE MARY OUT.
Many long scenes of Mikey With The Bad Tattoos And A Big Plan with his BIG MOUTH HANGING OPEN IN SHOCK.

Will Hulk/No Neck guy claim victory?
Will Chet break down and cry?
Will Cirie stir things up?
WILL I CHANGE MY EMAIL ADDRESSES?

STAY TUNED.

Does anyone say that anymore?

Comments

psychicgeek.com said…
I had my hotmail account hacked and everyone in it was sent a link to a chinese website. I changed the password and it hasn't happened since. Sounds like you may have had the same experience?
Kim said…
SO that's what that weird email was from you the other day.
That I stupidly opened the attachment of. Derrrr.

I'd be compelled to watch simply to see if the Not so Crazy Anymore one went Crazy again; to see if the whole experience undid the work done on the one with the work done; just to watch someone function with the name Chet.
jen said…
I'm with you except for one point - Erik isn't Leif Erikson, he's Leif Garrett, circa 1979.
blackbird said…
Damn!
that's who I meant!
Velma said…
Yes, I think people still say "Stay tuned," and I'm tickled to see that they also apparently still say "stupid-head." Heh.
Anonymous said…
I have learned from native Texans that, "Wull, Ah tell you wut," is a complete thought and entire conversation.

tx Carol
marian said…
Yes! Plastic surgery! And some of the little bits and blogs are starting to migrate.
marian said…
blobs, i meant blobs.
FreshHell said…
I love Survivor! And Chet reminds me of Robin Gibb (Bee Gees fame). For that reason alone, I hope he doesn't get voted out soon.
barbra said…
Sounds like Survivor is back on track this week. Good luck with the spam problem. UGH.
Geggie said…
So that explains the "unsubscribe" email I got from you.

Hope you get it all taken care of. I'll stay tuned.
catsteevens said…
Spam sucks.
Badger said…
No Neck Joel = Glenn Danzig. Ask Oldest or Middle -- they'll know who I'm talking about.
Jen said…
Hmmm, maybe that's why I haven't been getting an email from typepad when you leave me a comment--I never see it unless I look at the blog entry itself. I think my spam filter is killing it before it hits my inbox.

Popular Posts