exchange

bb: hey, could you get the vacuum and bring it up to my room?

Middle complies.

bb: wait, don't go downstairs...bring this load of laundry to the basement please...

Middle: the BASEMENT? I wanted to go to my room...I don't feel like going to the basement.

bb: well I didn't feel like driving around all day and finally come home and then have you call me to pick you up.

Middle: well I DIDN'T FEEL like joining the film club and having to stay late at school so it looks good on my records so I CAN GO TO A GOOD COLLEGE.

bb : OH YEAH, WELL...I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PUSHING YOU OUT OF MY VAGINA!
I WIN.

Comments

Jennifer said…
Hahaha yes you do!
My comeback line to Cape Cod Kid was always "this is payback for 33 hours of labor".
Miz S said…
That's comedy, Jack.
Geggie said…
I think that's the winning response to any child's complaint about anything. Can I use it even though I'm just the auntie?
daysgoby said…
Ha! I use 'I had a person GROW INSIDE ME' when my husband tries to play one-up....always, always win. No brainer.

Can't wait to use your line on the terrible two!
amy a. said…
Ouch.

Probably just saying the 'V-word' is enough to make them do what you want, huh?
Saoirse said…
I think if I actually said the word "vagina" MY son would burst into embers! He knows about 'em, to be sure, but doesn't want to hear the word from my mouth!

But, yes, that argument definitely trumps in every case!
psychicgeek.com said…
That was awesome! *wiping eyes*
Nothing trumps pushing a kid out of your vagina. Nothing.
islaygirl said…
there is nothing like a mom saying VAGINA to a 17-year-old son. I'm 37 i can't imagine my mother saying vagina out loud in front of me, let alone in mixed company.
islaygirl said…
umm, i'm 37 AND. commenting before caffeine, not a good thing.
paola said…
See, I can't ever use that. I had a c-section. It's not fair.
(grumpy look on my face)
BabelBabe said…
this is one of those moments where i am so glad i know what your voice sounds like because i can TOTALLY hear you saying that and that makes it even funnier, if that's possible.
Childbirth always always always trumps anything else. My husband hates that. He's just lucky I haven't insisted on a vasectomy. Yet.
blackbird said…
I've been known to shout: THEY HAD TO CUT YOU OUT OF ME!
at Oldest...
I'm sad that my kids are grown and I don't have a good reason to use that line. I can only hope.
kmkat said…
I think your final line deserves to be in Barlett's. Awesome.
Badger said…
I used this argument with DH the other day.

Him: But I bought you lunch.
Me: Well, I gave you two children.
Him: Ditto!
Me: Eighty hours of labor with that one (pointing at girl); abdominal surgery with THAT one (pointing at boy).
Him: (flustered silence)
Meg said…
ahh - I'm almost 30 and my mom still uses the ol' 'I was in labor with you for 2 days!' line when we bicker about something. If my grandmother is present, she likes to add on that my mom screamed "TAKE HER BACK! I CHANGED MY MIND!" as she was pushing me out. Lovely family of mine.
Kim said…
It's times like this that being a woman totally ROCKS.
Ree said…
You totally win. And I'm so totally going to use that line.
MsCellania said…
Uh-oh.
Those of us who've adopted are shit outta luck with that line. But I may use it anyway. The word "Vagina" coming from my mouth may strike them speechless.
Julie said…
I would have loved to see Middle's face when you said that to him.

And I am totally telling my mom about this.
And thanks to you I will be able to use your ultimate winning line for both the vaginal and the caesarian births.

have just read this post to my eldest - he laughed.
A lot.
paula said…
Heh-heh.
catsteevens said…
Hahahaha...oh my, that was a good one :)
ingrid said…
fabulous smart reply. what *could* he possibly say.