Survivor

It did not disappoint, this new Survivor.
We had had a very long day but we managed to drag our butts to the couch.
Just before 8pm, Youngest turned a corner in his recovery which gave us a spurt of energized excitement.
So, there we were, in CHINA, which Jeff tells us is one of the oldest countries in the world.
Which - okay, whatever, we're feeling all jaded, but THEN turns out to be pretty cool.
(Great sentence structure, huh?)
The Survivors are brought to a temple and stand in the courtyard amazed by their surroundings.
Chicken is 'like a kid at a carnival.'
Peigh Gee is emotional, and her name is pronounced Pee Gee.
They attend a Buddhist welcoming ceremony which is beautiful and appears to be moving, but I cannot take my eyes off Denise's mullet. I CAN'T HELP IT, it's the largest mullet in the free world. Or China.
Courtney (Gwen Stefani) is a trouble maker. She messes around during the ceremony and complains because this isn't what she's used to.
In the meantime, Leslie has a conflict and leaves the ceremony. She explains that while she's not 'religious' she does have a close personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And, she's the one who is a Christian radio host, right? So I'm sort of not following the 'I'm not religious part.'

After the ceremony, Jeff divides them into teams and tells them they will be playing in the clothing they are wearing. This, my friends, will prove interesting. And I'm not really talking about the menfolk.

There seems to be a team of people with freaky names, and one with normal names. As there is no WAY I absorbed the Chinese names of either team I will be calling them Red and Yellow until I think of something better.

Off they go to find their camps.
The red team seems a little confused on how to row a boat and how to get themselves organized at first, but they pull it together pretty quickly.
Aaron moves himself into a leadership position.
(Badger will help us out if I put people on the wrong teams here...)
Gwen Stefani is having problems again. Turns out it's not like New York at ALL.
Jean-Robert (the French way) SHOULD NOT be shirtless. But, of course, he is.
He and Todd go off for a walk and JR checks Todd out.
How smart is Todd, the 22 year old Mormon flight attendant? We think PRETTY SMART.
How smart is JR? Not as smart as he thinks. Mark my words.

We watch a Charmin commercial. Are you as tired of the shitting bears as I am?

The yellow team has a lot of boobs. Boobs and high heels.
We cannot imagine what they are going to be wearing in a few days.
But they don't seem to be worried about it - they are dancing and laughing.
They've got no water, shelter or fire, but it's no problem.
Chicken offers some advice on building a shelter, is quickly shot down and decides he's 'done suggestin.'

By now, the red team is working as a unit and felling trees.
James is quiet and shy and Leslie tries to coach him on how to interact with the players.
He can just stand there and look pretty for all I care. But he's worried that the strategy part of the game will kill him.

A big storm rolls in and both teams have a rough night.

Oh! I've just realized that Chicken IS Robin Williams!

In the morning Ashley is sick. She has chills and is vomiting. Could this be her ticket home?
She proceeds to recline in various places and positions for the day.
Dave quickly encourages her to ride it out and stay in the game.

We watch a JC Penny commercial. Someone at JC Penny is tripping, but we like it. We need to see it again.

Just before the first challenge of the season we realize that Aaron has stepped up, Todd speaks to the camera too loudly, Frosti has it all under control, and there have been several costume changes.

Someone is wearing a bra and a shirt. And not the way one usually wears a bra and shirt.

The challenge is a maze with a puzzle and a swamp and a dragon and a tiger. I guess it was harder than it looked as the contestants seemed to struggle through it.
There were a couple of exciting moments when we spied the woman in her bra competing and the sprint between James the shy gravedigger and Frosti the freerunner. This freerunning thing may pay off for, um, Frosti.
The winners got immunity and a flint - and the winners were the red team.

At the losing camp, PG has a breakdown and then takes charge.
This doesn't go well with Ashley and her breasts, who has recovered sufficiently to get bitchy and catty.
Chicken is annoyed by Ashley and makes a push for her to be sent home.
Dave confides in Chicken but I don't remember what about.

At Tribal Council PG is wearing one heck of a set of earrings and I noticed that there have been several costume changes among the players. Gwen Stefani has a seemingly endless set of accessories and a dress that can be shorts or a blouse.
Chicken says that he is 'grabbing the bull by the horns.'
Dave and PG step up and offer to lead the tribe.
There is some discussion on voting off the member of the tribe who doesn't pull their weight.
All eyes are on Ashley, even the cameraman has taken to starting a shot at her chest and working up from there.
Certainly it must be Ashley who goes.
But then, PG votes for Chicken.
The votes come in for Chicken, Ashley and PG - but in the end it is Chicken who goes home.
DAMN, says he -
'I heard em.'

And so, with the first vote, the yellow team sends the old guy, with great farm experience,
home.

Comments

Geggie said…
I don't watch Survivor, never have, but I do enjoy your recaps. It helps me whenever people are talking about it...I can kinda follow along.
Badger said…
I am not even close to remembering all their names, so don't look at me. Not for another couple of weeks, anyway.

Why in THE HELL were they dressed like that at the beginning? Did they not know what show they were on?

That truly is the finest mullet in all the land, on the lunch lady.

I'm afraid the wrestler is going to pop an implant.

HATE the waitress.

LOVE the gay Mormon flight attendant.

REALLY REALLY LOVE the gravedigger.
Anonymous said…
Really love the grave digger too.

Don't they usually vote off the person with the most usable knowledge first? I kinda thought that was Survivor tradition? didn't they vote off a female lumberjack first, last time?

b
marian said…
Chicken reminded me of my ex-husband, but in one way only -- if you question his contribution, or don't appreciate it, he'll refuse to contribute ever again, even if you beg him to. He shot himself in the foot with that trait.

And oh yeah, J.C. Penney be trippin! Meanwhile the actual store (at least out here) has the most boring clothes in the known world.

I love the gravedigger. What is NOT to love about that man? I hope we see something not to love soon otherwise it'll break my heart if he doesn't win.

Glad to hear about the turned corner!!!
paola said…
It's reality season again...
even here they're all coming back.
UGH.
It's good to hear Youngest is recovering quickly.
jenny said…
James. In his boxer briefs.

It is shaping up to be a very good season.

Not liking Gwen Stefani at all but I sort of got her with the eyerolling at all of the 'high fives' and great jobs when someone manages to complete the most menial of tasks.

I'm not sure how smart James is but HE'S sure. Thankfully, if we forget, he will continue to remind us via the solo/confessional camera time.

JR most definitely needs a shirt.
jenny said…
Oops. Not James with the camera thing...Todd, the flight attendant.
Christy said…
I'm bummed about Chicken. He'd have been good for some old-fashioned tv yellfests. I'll just have to channel all that energy to Ms. Attitude from NYC. And perhaps to Mr. Formal Model.
Kim said…
this will probably be aired here in 2009 sometime.
Sue said…
As a marginal quasi-Mormon I'm all about Todd. LOVE HIM. I didn't catch the whole show, just bits and pieces, but was quite startled at the end - I thought Chicken was going to start smacking people around...
ThirdCat said…
It'll be on at 10.30 at night here. As is boston legal. Best things on television, and on too late for me.

Also: how's things? Okay, I hope.
Jake said…
Love Fei Long/Red, not too much a fan of Zhan Hu/Yellow.

By the way "Gwen Stefani" is Courtney from Fei Long, NOT Jaime from Zhan Hu.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. And this IS going to be a good season!