- Now my eye twitches WHEN I drink.
- I can't tell if it's a permanent bruise or a liver spot on the back of my right hand.
- I may have actually, finally, screwed up the No Knead Bread.
- I hate haikus.
- I just pulled something out from between my front teeth. Upon inspection it appears to be a piece of black thread. What could I have eaten that resembles black thread? Why do people look at what they extract from between their teeth?
- SHUT UP. YOU KNOW YOU DO.