Survivor

So, Rita went home (have any men been voted off?), there are 13 left and it's day 15.

Yau Man feels very vulnerable - he hasn't found the idol and he knows he doesn't offer much to his team.
But there is little time to ponder this as the teams are called together for a challenge.
We know, however, that when Jeff calls one member of each team to come forward, it isn't a challenge after all...and not a merge either, but a complete switch up of teams.
Edgarrrrrdo and Earl step forward (who decided that?) and drop their buffs.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand there is a very cinematic commercial for JC Penny, which clearly has a new advertising agency. Bravo, JC Penny, I still wouldn't shop there, but your commercials are very slick now.

Okay. So what happens is, one team is all men and one team ends up all skinny people.
They draw buffs for camps and the team of men get the crappy Ravu camp.
The skinnies do the dance of joy as they are now Motos.

And, in surprising stroke of genius, Lisi The Bitch is not chosen by either team. She goes to Exile Island. At this point, as we are hating Lisi, we find ourselves completely justified in our attitude towards her. Her reaction to not being chosen is sort of belligerent: Great! Fine! I don't get to play? and then obnoxious: Oh, thanks Jeff, thanks a lot! and then scary: Oh, well, I would have just GONE HOME.
Did you see Jeff break a sweat? Are you saying you want to leave the game? he asked incredulously.
No, she just wanted to be crazy. I'm just an abrasive character, she says. Uh. YES.
Happily for us, we don't have to see her for the rest of the episode...

Both teams get feasts after the team rearrange.

The Ravus have new life injected into their team - it's like a vitaMAN shot. (I kill me.)
But it's also very Lord Of The Flies over there.
No shirts, lots of chest beating and talking about getting laid.
In a very poignant moment we hear Anthony tell us how it's like the first day of gym class and how there's always one boy who's afraid to take a shower and how he is that boy.
And we all know how screwed he is.

At Moto Earl is FEELING POWERFUL. He tells us that "everything is going to go through" him, and while we aren't completely sure what this entails, we are excited for him. Cassandra likes her team better too, and we like Cassandra, so it's all good with us. Boo, however, is nervous - he had a good thing going and now he is less important.

Anthony is all alone at Ravu. The entire team has left him to tend the fire, all Cinderella-like, while they hunt for crabs and fish. With their new confidence they are successful and bring back the first real food seen at the Ravu camp, which is good because it's time for a challenge.

I can't even hope to describe the challenge this week...Imagine, if you can, a big asterisk made of bamboo poles, with harnesses at each end, and the sticks are fastened in the middle, but can slide, and each member of the team is attached to an end of the pole, and they must maneuver through a maze of poles and gates and get trapped against the other team.
SEE?
You have no freakin idea what it looked like.
Suffice to say it was GRIPPING.
We were glued to the television with our hearts in our throats.
And Moto won.
I could have cried.
Really.
So disappointed.
And we all know what it means.
Sad, quiet, well intentioned Anthony will certainly go home, when it should be loud, abrasive, creepy looking Rocky. (It WAS kind of all of you to hold back re Rocky last week, he has a personality like Oldest, but I am ready to admit that he is a twisted individual.[And I have been known to say that about Oldest too.])
And, after whoever it is goes, Ravu will get Lisi -- and I cannot even imagine Lisi on a team with Rocky.
Actually, now that I am giving it some thought, I think it will lead to some incredible drama, which could be fun to watch.

Dreamz makes a case for Rocky to be voted off, but no one is really going for it.
Edgarrrrdo, with his sexy accent, is not sure about Rocky, and we never really know how he votes.
And for the last five minutes, Rocky is painted as an absolute shit. It's clear that the editor is going to show us the error of their ways.
At tribal council Rocky attacks Anthony and humiliates him in a scene that was difficult for the team and viewers to watch.
Anthony finally speaks his mind and goes home.

This had to have been one of the most emotionally grueling Survivor episodes I've ever watched.
I'm exhausted thinking about it.
And I can't wait for next week.

Comments

Badger said…
OMG. That was brutal. The He-Man Women-Haters totally made Anthony their bitch. Poor guy. I really liked him.

I am thrilled to have Earl, Cassandra and Yau Man on the same team, though. Because now I know for whom to root. As it were.

This is the episode where I realized that Edgardo is smokin' hott. I don't know how I missed it before.
abrowncow said…
they just dug their own graves by getting rid of anthony and keeping loud-mouth jack-ass rocky. what's to stop him from turning on anyone of them. AND now they keep him and get another loud-mouth with Lisi coming back from exile. yeh, that'll be a nice camp to be around - NOT!
jenny said…
okay. crap. with the oldest/rocky comparison.

i apologize in advance of your reading my, um, diatribe.
blackbird said…
I told Miss Jenny in an email -
she has nothing to worry about.
I know Oldest is a weird and wild guy and it took me 21 years to see that I had very little to do with it...
mel said…
Did I miss something? If one team is men and one team is all skinny people, then, er, which team is Cassandra on? Or am I just a complete bitch and should totally be beat down (or at least verbally berated) for suggesting Cassandra isn't skinny?

And what about the crabs? I almost cried when they were whacking the crabs.

And the asterisk challenge? I couldn't understand it while watching it, let alone explain it.

AND, and, Anthony? Completely. heartbreaking. I had a headache from clenching my teeth in frustration at Rocky's ignorance.

Whoa. That was A LOT I had to say.
elena jane said…
we missed this episode due to the change in days, so good to read your review :)