I was thinking

about Mary this morning. Two Mary's actually.
And their losses.
I was wondering if Mary went to work today...Mary, who I picture as cheerful and patient and kind with her students. I wonder if she is standing at the front of her classroom with a smile on her face but with an aching heart. And her students may have no idea of the depth of her grief.
It's funny (but it's not at all) but I thought, for a long time, that Mary posted photos of Clyde at the top of her blog on a lark - that she'd stop, that he was just a dog...
But I came to realize that he was her family and that she posted photos of him as often or more often than her daughters. And, just as I realized how important he was in her life he died.
I have a tightness in my throat when I think of Mary today, smiling in her classroom. Or not.

And the other Mary doesn't post everyday. But I feel so familiar with her voice. In short sentences she has made herself known to me and she has loss to bear today too. I know just what she means when she says that she was helpful to Burt because I am just that to someone in my life. I can't bear it when I think of Mary telling her boys that their grandfather is dead. And at the very same moment I know it would have been me in that room telling the pulmonary specialist that he was gone, that they were too late, making a tiny joke of it. Why did it have to be pulmonary? That just stabs at my heart. I can only hope that when Youngest is an old old old man that he has a Mary. I say prayers for that - and so much else.

My friend Emlyn is waiting for a baby.
What is more intense than those days just before a baby? Counting the minutes and hours, feeling like time has stopped. Thinking and wondering. Waiting to see a tiny face who will add so much to our lives. It is indescribable, really, but many of us know what that time is like. It is the very pinnacle of grace. His baby will come on friday morning and I know I will have him on my mind all day.

Three strangers.
On my mind today.
Three friends.

Comments

Dusty said…
I was wondering the same thing about Mary.
Paola said…
If only I lived closer...I'd be seeing you each and every day. You have so many qualities I don't think you realize.
Truly.
mary said…
Aww man, now you made me all sniffly again. Thanks BB, for your email and your comments ...
Miz S said…
The other Mary here. Thanks, bb. What a sweet thing for you to put up on your blog. Yes, I did go to work, because I am a grown-up.

I was also sorry to hear about Mary's father-in-law. Very sad.
Anonymous said…
I taught second graders when my first child lost his/her life in the second trimester. I went to school on Monday. But I didn't smile.

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